The Chronicle of Scratchy: Erik the Brave bravely ran away from a fight with a Double Dragon. After going several hours without God Shish Kebab checking up on him, Erik was lonely, slightly depressed due to a missing limb and generally low on money and booze. To make the day even worse, it started to rain and Erik’s armor began to rust. Erik found a nice quiet cave and was settling down to have a nap when a rocky raccoon jumped out from behind a rock and proceeded to scratch Erik in the face. With a very manly roar (high pitched squeal), Erik jumped up and beat the raccoon repetitively with his boots of extreme charisma until the raccoon was close to death. Erik took pity on the poor raccoon and decided to bring it along on his journeys. This is the story of Scratchy the Rocky Raccoon.
The Chronicle of Sven: After the death of Scratchy, Sven the dust bunny became Erik’s new best friend. They spent many a journey together and Sven bravely sacrificed his life to save Erik. R.I.P Sven