Shinefire the little devil was one day found wandering in the miserable place (with a cliché name) called Godville. Found by eternal fire of hell half-drunk, she thought that she was delusional til she saw the light. A diamond sword flew out of the orange portal and got her in the head. She then saw the stars align (she took astronomy), and they told her to get up and slay in the goddess Shinnio’s name. She then picked up a stick she stole from a stile on the fence and started hitting the sheeps for wool.
‘I suppose this is a good place to organize an interspecies chess tournament. Let’s go!’ Shinefire thought. But nonetheless, the usual things that ARE supposed to happen don’t. The warning, ‘Remembered to expect the unexpected, but forgot to expect the expected.’, came just a bit too late for this instance. She forgot to put pillows (or cushions) on the seats for the chess players. ‘Ha, pillows are for wimps! Last night I slept on a turtle.’ She thought. (I hope that turtle has a flat shell now. Well done.) So the chess players from all over this particular universe gave the little devil her first trip to hell. ’It’s good to be bad, isn’t it my Lady?’ she shouted out at me. I grinned, pleased with my handicraft. And gave her another piercing on the way back up.
‘I was just wondering… As a hero, am I supposed to have a secret identity or something?’ Shinefire thought as she was hunting down some evil witches in exchange for 113 gold coins from the local church. Shinnio gladly gave her a new suit of black to disguise her appearance. ‘Am I evil? Yes I am…’ Shinefire thought as she put it on and went hunting more evil witches in exchange for 152 gold coins from the local church again.
As she was wandering around the fields and towns and hills and mountains and seas and fields and towns and hills and mountains and seas (etc), she saw a banner flying in the distance with a blood moon on it. She felt inexplicably drawn to it, as did her God. Upon wandering closer, she felt a mysterious force that surrounded this close she had just wandered in. ‘HARVEST MOON,’ it proclaimed in blood-red letters. Shinefire felt right at home with the dark side. Hey, do they have cookies, my Lady? Upon seeing that thought, I gave her a bolt…. of cookies.
‘Muahahahaha,’ Shinefire laughed. Writing down, ‘Notes from the battlefield: Zeuson was defeated. Shinefire got 482 coins. Shinefire put some fuzzy logic, a forget-me-knot, a bag of computer chips, a can of blinker fluid, a bottomless cup, a vicious circle and Zeuson’s ear into her bag.’ She chased fairies and tore off their wings. But the (maybe) BLASTING protector of the fairies, the blasted Whatchamacallit came. (And a blasted Leeroy Jenkins too.) ‘A woman can be destroyed, but not defeated, and I’m still intact. We’ll meet again someday.’ She thought, cursing the gods of her lady Shinnio, Random, for putting these blasted monsters out in the world. I blasted her for more power.
21:44: A vagrant philosopher told me that the world is a text. I always suspected something like that. Shinefire wrote down her thoughts in her diary like she did every minute of the day. It’s been a long time since she was ever motivated to do so. Having wandered the lands of Godville for the past 4 years in a bid to spread word of her Goddess, Shinnio, she finally had her prayers answered after numerous requests. ’It’s great to be back…’ She murmured to herself.
23 Feb 2016 10:19 Carefully placed the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all doors, and cut the ribbon in a stately manner with my sword. I can’t believe it’s finally happened! After all these months of work, the temple in your name is finished, my Lady! I feel crazy with happiness.
21:04 One of my artifacts just fell into pieces. Found an inner lightbulb, a sarcasm intensifier, a history eraser, a one-of-a-kind item, a portable death star, a brick of purest green and a troubleshooting star in the shards.
21:04 One of my artifacts just fell into pieces. Found an inner lightbulb, a sarcasm intensifier, a history eraser, a one-of-a-kind item, a portable death star, a brick of purest green and a troubleshooting star in the shards.