03.04.15 After mandatory equalization, Pennye Blossom and He man 123 look at each other appraisingly. The audience watches with anticipation. The judge decides to impose an additional rule for this fight: the longer the fight the bigger the extra gold prize for the winner. 15:12 Pennye Blossom started to sing a ballad to He man 123 in a surprisingly powerful voice. He man 123 was suddenly struck with a sonic boom. 15:13 He man 123 showed Pennye Blossom the nutritional value of eating dirt. 15:13 Pennye Blossom tore into He man 123 like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage. 15:14 A voice from the clouds suddenly said, ‘strike the enemy.’ Obeying the order sent from above, He man 123 gathers his strength and strikes his opponent one more time. He man 123 throws legal restraining order paperwork at Pennye Blossom resulting in severe paper cuts. 15:15 A swarm of butterflies swoops down on the battlefield and surrounds Pennye Blossom. The breeze stirring from their wings refreshes the heroine and heals her wounds. Almighty She – Ra is feeling tranquil today. Sly Pennye Blossom delivered a back-heel strike, flinging He man 123 headfirst into a nearby ravine. 15:15 Members of the audience raised cards which spelled out ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123 lands a solid blow to his opponent and, while Pennye Blossom is reeling, takes a victory lap. 15:16 Pennye Blossom gave a scary scream and tried to chop off her enemy’s legs in the hope that He man 123’s heart would sink into his boots. 15:17 A beam of healing light showered the audience. The audience complained about the excessive use of bright lighting on the battlefield. Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘strike the enemy.’ Feeling the presence of his goddess, He man 123 rushes forward and gives the enemy a huge blow. He man 123 told Pennye Blossom to close her eyes and she’d get a surprise. Pennye Blossom did and got a punch in the face. 15:17 Members of the audience raised cards which spelled out ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ The fighters were nonplussed when the sky opened with a crack and a doctor dropped, unconscious, at Pennye Blossom’s feet. Maybe Almighty She – Ra should consider providing her with a parachute next time? Pennye Blossom aimed for a crushing blow, but He man 123 took off his hat and looked so pitiful… 15:18 What a hit, He man 123! A couple more times and Pennye Blossom’s sheep’s clothing will go straight to the junkyard. 15:19 The scoreboard suddenly malfunctioned and showed the text, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ Pennye Blossom spun around and gave her enemy a good slap. He man 123 felt like something inside him cracked… 15:19 Shera dhrhr painted a beautiful rainbow; a bridge of light arched down to her servant. Pennye Blossom wheezed resentfully, watching the enemy get stronger. A booming voice from above said, ‘strike the enemy.’ A blow, another blow! Pennye Blossom felt her head go flat. 15:20 The scoreboard suddenly malfunctioned and showed the text, ‘You don’t deserve top rank in Creation Pantheon! It’s all mine!’ Pennye Blossom snatched the link to the past out of the rival’s pockets and tossed it up. Distracted with the trophy tumbling in the air, He man 123 misses a huge blow. 15:21 A voice came from somewhere above, ‘I am SHERA! ATTACK!’ He man 123 counted the stars floating around his head, then suddenly grabbed one and threw it at his enemy. 15:21 A gentle wind blew the scent of Pennye Blossom’s favorite beer from a nearby pub, raising her spirits and health considerably. Almighty She – Ra knows how to treat a heroine! He man 123 zigged when he should have zagged, consequently failing to dodge Pennye Blossom’s blow. 15:22 A chorus of angels sings from the heavens. He man 123 feels uplifted by the music and finds his wounds are being healed. Something in the clouds roared, ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123 shouted ‘BOO!’ rather loudly. Pennye Blossom fell over while attempting to escape. 15:23 Members of the audience raised cards which spelled out ‘strike the enemy.’ Obeying the strange voice, He man 123 carefully aims and throws the butt of a joke at the enemy. Pennye Blossom falls to the ground, but then gets up and puts the trophy into her pocket. Pennye Blossom grinned with thrilling vigor as the omnipotent power of her goddess closed her wounds before He man 123’s eyes. Pennye Blossom, frustrated by her opponent’s blatant disregard of the rules set forth in the Godville Arena Battle Manual simply picks up the book and throws it at him. 15:23 A unicorn pranced into the battlefield and gently touched Pennye Blossom with its horn, instantly healing her wounds. A beautiful blessing from Almighty She – Ra! A gentle wind blew the scent of He man 123’s favorite beer from a nearby pub, raising his spirits and health considerably. Shera dhrhr knows how to treat a hero! A booming voice from above said, ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123 pointed a stick at Pennye Blossom and shouted “Crucio!”; nothing happened. 15:24 Pennye Blossom tickles He man 123 mercilessly. Several members of the audience faint at the cruelty of the scene. 15:25 A voice came from somewhere above, ‘strike the enemy.’ Feeling the presence of his goddess, He man 123 rushes forward and gives the enemy a huge blow. He man 123 jabbed Pennye Blossom in the funny bone. Pennye Blossom didn’t laugh. 15:25 The scoreboard suddenly malfunctioned and showed the text, ‘defend.’ Pennye Blossom stuck a ‘Kick me!’ sticky note onto He man 123’s back when he wasn’t looking. The crowd gladly followed this suggestion. 15:26 A ray of light falls on the battlefield. Pennye Blossom’s spirit is lifted knowing that her goddess is around. He man 123 is horrified. A unicorn pranced into the battlefield and gently touched He man 123 with its horn, instantly healing his wounds. A beautiful blessing from Shera dhrhr! Cheerleaders cartwheeled onto the field, formed a human pyramid, and yelled, ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123 throws legal restraining order paperwork at Pennye Blossom resulting in severe paper cuts. 15:27 Half of the audience suddenly jumped to their feet and chanted, ‘defend.’ Pennye Blossom kicked her opponent’s ankle. He man 123 hopped around on one foot, yelling obscenities. 15:28 He man 123 suddenly bit his enemy’s ear, almost tearing her head off. 15:28 A booming voice from above said, ‘strike the enemy.’ Obeying the order sent from above, He man 123 gathers his strength and strikes his opponent one more time. The fighters compared the size of their inferiority complexes. Pennye Blossom won, causing He man 123’s self-esteem to take a blow. 15:29 Something in the clouds roared, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ He man 123 was out of ideas so he decided to use his head. Both heroes now have a minor concussion. 15:30 A gentle wind blew the scent of He man 123’s favorite beer from a nearby pub, raising his spirits and health considerably. The scoreboard suddenly malfunctioned and showed the text, ‘defend.’ Pennye Blossom kicked her opponent’s ankle. He man 123 hopped around on one foot, yelling obscenities. 15:30 He man 123 struck his opponent. Pennye Blossom tottered from the resulting injuries. 15:31 Members of the audience raised cards which spelled out ‘strike the enemy.’ Under instruction from above, He man 123 attacked the enemy with his full strength, instead of the token effort he’d been putting in so far. Pennye Blossom was injured out of sheer surprise. Pennye Blossom performed a three-hit combo in only two moves. Wow, she’s good! 15:32 A unicorn pranced into the battlefield and gently touched He man 123 with its horn, instantly healing his wounds. A beautiful blessing from Shera dhrhr! The scoreboard suddenly malfunctioned and showed the text, ‘strike the enemy.’ Pennye Blossom zigged when she should have zagged, consequently failing to dodge He man 123’s blow. 15:32 A voice from the clouds suddenly said, ‘defend.’ Pennye Blossom teased her opponent and He man 123 executed a perfect roundhouse kick to his own face. 15:33 Half of the audience suddenly jumped to their feet and chanted, ‘strike the enemy.’ Obeying the order sent from above, He man 123 gathers his strength and strikes his opponent one more time. He man 123 pointed behind his enemy’s back and shouted, “Hey look, it’s a Tweeting Bird!” As Pennye Blossom looked over her shoulder, she was rewarded with a moderate hit on the head. 15:34 Something in the clouds roared, ‘STRIKE! ATTACK! KICK!’ Pennye Blossom whispered a rumor about He man 123 to someone in the stands. He man 123 stomped his foot in frustration and broke his heel. 15:34 Half of the audience suddenly jumped to their feet and chanted, ‘STRIKE! ATTACK! KICK!’ in eerie unison. Pennye Blossom zigged when she should have zagged, consequently failing to dodge He man 123’s blow. 15:35 The announcer suddenly interrupted his message about an illegally-parked Trojan Horse to proclaim, ‘strike the enemy.’ Pennye Blossom opened her mouth. He man 123 choked on the fragrant exhalation. 15:36 Catcalls of ‘strike the enemy.’ sound from the stands. He man 123 ran toward Pennye Blossom to strike. At the last second, Pennye Blossom sidestepped and tripped He man 123. The crowd roared with laughter. 15:36 Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘strike the enemy.’ Pennye Blossom and He man 123 wonder why the audience is cheering the names of the contestants of the next duel to be fought. 15:37 A booming voice from above said, ‘strike the enemy.’ Obeying the strange voice, He man 123 carefully aims and throws the packet of owl pellets at the enemy. Pennye Blossom falls to the ground, but then gets up and puts the trophy into her pocket. Pennye Blossom showed off her new battle pose. He man 123 almost suffocated in a fit of hysterical laughter. 15:38 Pennye Blossom surrenders. He man 123 definitely fulfilled his goddess’ expectations today! Extra gold prize collected by the fans for the winner is 12320 coins. The winner got richer by 4956 gold coins and a golden brick.
03.03.15
18:21 Eratow and He man 123 look at each other appraisingly. A woman announces, “May the odds be ever in your favor!” and the duel begins! The judge decides to impose an additional rule for this fight: heroes won’t be able to hear their gods due to audience uproar. 18:21 Eratow behaved so politely that He man 123 punched himself. 18:22 The fighters compared the size of their inferiority complexes. He man 123 won, causing Eratow’s self-esteem to take a blow. 18:23 While Eratow was raising his hand, He man 123 managed to run off and have a quick prayer. 18:24 He man 123 sneezed powerfully. Eratow flew backwards. 18:24 With the force of his will and the strength of his hands, Eratow blocked his rival’s chakra, causing severe damage to his lower body. 18:25 He man 123 patiently waited for Eratow to sit down to shake a rock out of his boot before kindly cuffing him on the head. 18:26 A fight broke out in the stands between members of the audience. Eratow and He man 123 paused in the middle of their own battle to watch the action and pick up some fighting tips. 18:26 Eratow lets loose a battle cry and rushes towards He man 123. He man 123 takes little damage, but his equipment isn’t so lucky. 18:27 He man 123 spun around and gave his enemy a good slap. Eratow felt like something inside him cracked… 18:28 He man 123 received a good blow to the face. Eratow politely offered to pick up his broken teeth. 18:28 He man 123 felt a sudden burst of energy and rushed towards the enemy, cheering at the heavens. He man 123 playfully slapped his rival in the face with a bouquet of flowers. The pollen caused a severe allergic reaction and Eratow almost sneezed his brains out through his nose. 18:29 He man 123 dared Eratow to attack and try his best. Eratow dutifully complied and gave his opponent a severe concussion. 18:30 A chorus of angels sings from the heavens. He man 123 feels uplifted by the music and finds his wounds are being healed. He man 123 spotted an open window of opportunity and quickly slammed it shut in Eratow’s face. 18:30 Eratow struck his rival’s jaw with all his might. He man 123 tottered like a loose tooth. 18:31 He man 123 threw a good jab. Eratow got a brand new shiner. 18:32 Eratow jabbed He man 123 in the funny bone. He man 123 didn’t laugh. 18:32 He man 123 played a couple of “Pow-Wow” tunes on the enemy’s helmet. Eratow got the tune stuck in his head. 18:33 Eratow told the funniest joke in the world. He man 123 cracked a rib laughing. 18:34 He man 123 told his opponent a bedtime story. While Eratow’s eyes were closed, He man 123 took a mighty swing at his head. 18:34 Eratow snatched He man 123’s character sheet, pulled out an eraser, and proceeded to remove a portion of the opponent’s health bar. 18:35 While Eratow was relaxing on the floor, He man 123 climbed onto the ropes, grinned maliciously, and leapt onto him with a brutal cry. 18:36 Eratow is unconscious. He man 123 successfully fulfilled the goal of praising his deity! The winner receives a gold brick and 2040 coins.
10:14 A disturbed Skilled Cholestroll roars menacingly and rushes to the hero. 10:14 Cholestroll got punched so hard he saw dots before his eyes. He then connected them to make a smiley face. Neat. 10:15 Cholestroll thoroughly whipped his opponent with a tail. 10:15 He man 123 ran into his opponent as hard as he could. Cholestroll almost fell to his knees. 10:16 He man 123 grinned with thrilling vigor as the omnipotent power of his goddess closed his wounds before Cholestroll’s eyes. During this turn Cholestroll managed to create a golden cinder block and gained health from the sense of deep artistic fulfillment. 10:16 He man 123 managed to grab his opponent’s health bar and beat him with it, breaking off a piece in the process. 10:16 A beam of healing light showered the audience. The audience complained about the excessive use of bright lighting on the battlefield. A voice from the clouds suddenly said, ‘strike the enemy.’ Cholestroll disassembled his golden cinder block, created a Darwin award and threw the remaining parts at the opposition. 10:17 A unicorn pranced into the battlefield and gently touched He man 123 with its horn, instantly healing his wounds. A beautiful blessing from Shera dhrhr! While Cholestroll was preparing to block an unexpected scorpion kick to the back of the head, He man 123 slipped in an obvious jab to the nose. 10:17 He man 123 got punched so hard he saw dots before his eyes. He then connected them to make a smiley face. Neat. 10:18 He man 123’s wounds seemed to evaporate into thin air… Looks like all that praying paid off. He man 123 showed Cholestroll the nutritional value of eating dirt. 10:18 During this turn Cholestroll managed to create a nervous tick and gained health from the sense of deep artistic fulfillment. 10:19 He man 123 jabbed Cholestroll in the funny bone. Cholestroll didn’t laugh. 10:19 Cholestroll gave He man 123 a strong jolt, causing him to grit his teeth in agony. 10:19 He man 123 spotted an open window of opportunity and quickly slammed it shut in Cholestroll’s face. 10:20 He man 123 begged for a break, so Cholestroll broke his nose. 10:20 He man 123 ran into his opponent as hard as he could. Cholestroll almost fell to his knees. 10:21 Suddenly, a beautiful angel swooped down and kissed He man 123. Cholestroll cried in jealous pain. Cholestroll took a great swing, yawned tiredly and decided to have a short nap. 10:21 He man 123 climbed up on a stool and loudly recited some of his own verses. Cholestroll felt as if he was slowly losing his mind. 10:21 Cholestroll had a bite of the hero, hiccuped and belched out some galactic acid. 10:22 Shera dhrhr painted a beautiful rainbow; a bridge of light arched down to her servant. Cholestroll wheezed resentfully, watching the enemy get stronger. He man 123 threw a punch. Cholestroll caught it with his face. 10:22 Cholestroll disassembled his operating model of a black hole, created a future antique and threw the remaining parts at the opposition. 10:23 He man 123 shoves a bucket onto Cholestroll’s head and watches him run around in circles. 10:23 Cholestroll took a great swing, yawned tiredly and decided to have a short nap. 10:23 He man 123 rubbed some salt onto Cholestroll’s wounds. 10:24 He man 123 deftly dodged a strike to the knee by taking it with his head instead. 10:24 He man 123 gave Cholestroll a look that could kill, but it only hurt him a little. 10:25 During this turn Cholestroll managed to create a house of cards and gained health from the sense of deep artistic fulfillment. 10:25 He man 123 climbed up on a stool and loudly recited some of his own verses. Cholestroll felt as if he was slowly losing his mind. 10:25 Cholestroll had a bite of the hero, hiccuped and belched out a mail-order bribe into the inventory. 10:26 He man 123 began tickling his opponent. Cholestroll pleaded for mercy. 10:26 Cholestroll gathers all his force in his fist, but then decides to put it aside for later. 10:27 Rock, paper, scissors… He man 123 won and gave the loser a good flick on the forehead. 10:27 He man 123 got punched so hard he saw dots before his eyes. He then connected them to make a smiley face. Neat. 10:28 He man 123 appraisingly glances at the enemy and outlines his body shape on the ground. 10:28 During this turn Cholestroll managed to create a cryptic metaphor and gained health from the sense of deep artistic fulfillment. 10:28 He man 123 ran headfirst at the enemy and leapt onto him with a wild cry. 10:29 Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘strike the enemy.’ Inspired by the voice of his goddess, He man 123 severely thrashed his enemy. Cholestroll rushed in to attack but tripped over his foot. He man 123 facepalmed so hard that he fractured his skull. 10:29 A voice from the clouds suddenly said, ‘strike the enemy!’ He man 123 began tickling his opponent. Cholestroll pleaded for mercy. 10:30 The Cholestroll was used up for gold and experience! Time to return to my heroic deeds.
08:18 In the red corner of the arena — He man 123. In the blue corner — The Math Man. The judge makes the heroes equal and gives the go-ahead to the duel. This fight has a special rule: arena priests set the maximum action limit to 2 (instead of 4) for this fight. 08:19 He man 123 told a caustic joke, causing significant damage to the enemy’s health and self-esteem. 08:20 The Math Man acquired a steel folding chair from the audience and proceeded to whack He man 123 repeatedly over the head with it. 08:20 He man 123 suddenly bit his enemy’s ear, almost tearing his head off. 08:21 A voice from the clouds suddenly said, ‘strike the enemy.’ The Math Man inflicted serious cuts with his sharp sense of humor. 08:22 He man 123 took off a shoe and performed a masterful headshot. The Math Man sustained a severe concussion. 08:22 Catcalls of ‘defend.’ sound from the stands. The Math Man’s inertia seriously bores He man 123, severely damaging his motivation. 08:23 Enraged by insults from the audience, He man 123 grabs the heckler by both feet and redefines “split personality”. The Math Man reels in terror. 08:24 The Math Man was showing off some backflips. He man 123 got jealous, decided to have a go and landed on his head. 08:24 He man 123 inflicted serious damage with his sharp sense of humor. 08:25 The Math Man tried to possess his enemy’s mind, but couldn’t hold it. He man 123 now has a mild headache. 08:26 He man 123 pushed his foe into the stands. The Math Man was nearly torn to shreds by a bloodthirsty mob of spectators. 08:26 While He man 123 was preparing to block an unexpected scorpion kick to the back of the head, The Math Man slipped in an obvious jab to the nose. 08:27 A voice from the clouds suddenly said, ‘strike the enemy.’ Feeling the presence of his goddess, He man 123 rushes forward and gives the enemy a huge blow. He man 123 tried to possess his enemy’s mind, but couldn’t hold it. The Math Man now has a mild headache. 08:28 The Math Man cunningly used his shiny armor to reflect a sunbeam into his rival’s face. While He man 123 was rubbing his eyes, The Math Man perfected some combo attacks on him. 08:28 Something in the clouds roared, ‘strike the enemy.’ The Math Man asked for a moment to pick up his teeth. He man 123 responded by giving his opponent more teeth to pick up. 08:29 The Math Man gently pokes He man 123 in the stomach. With unnecessary drama, He man 123 staggers around the battlefield clutching his stomach in pain. 08:30 He man 123 felt a sudden burst of energy and rushed towards the enemy, cheering at the heavens. Half of the audience suddenly jumped to their feet and chanted, ‘strike the enemy.’ Forgetting where he was, He man 123 started dancing. Horrified The Math Man turned away too late and will carry that damaging image for a long long time. 08:30 A voice from the clouds suddenly said, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ The Math Man took a hat in his hands and suddenly slammed it down on his enemy’s head. 08:31 A booming voice from above said, ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123 noticed that his rival was feeling some sort of pressure in the jaw area and used his fist to relieve it. 08:32 The Math Man is on his knees. He man 123 salutes to the heavens! The winner got richer by 4373 coins and a golden brick.
03.02.15
21:23 After mandatory equalization, He man 123 and Sinister Saul look at each other appraisingly. The audience watches with anticipation. This fight has a special rule: the longer the fight the bigger the extra gold prize for the winner. 21:23 He man 123 smiled cutely and punched his rival in the gut. Sinister Saul felt his second wind being replaced with a breeze from a referee’s towel. 21:24 Sinister Saul put a spider on his opponent’s head. He man 123 screamed in fear. 21:25 He man 123 read a detailed passage from “The Art of Basket Weaving”. Sinister Saul got some brain damage. 21:25 Cheerleaders cartwheeled onto the field, formed a human pyramid, and yelled, ‘defend.’ The skies darkened and released an angry swarm of undead locusts, devouring He man 123’s armor and lowering his self-esteem greatly. A booming voice from above said, ‘Attack.’ ☣ Obeying the strange voice, Sinister Saul carefully aims and throws the red hot poker chip at the enemy. He man 123 falls to the ground, but then gets up and puts the trophy into his pocket. Furious Sinister Saul rants and raves at the enemy. 21:26 Awkwardly bouncing from the enemy’s attack, Sinister Saul caught a lightning bolt intended for his rival. Something in the clouds roared, ‘Defend.’ ☣ He man 123 grinned with thrilling vigor as the omnipotent power of his goddess closed his wounds before Sinister Saul’s eyes. Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ He man 123 stuck a ‘Kick me!’ sticky note onto Sinister Saul’s back when he wasn’t looking. The crowd gladly followed this suggestion. 21:27 A swarm of butterflies swoops down on the battlefield and surrounds He man 123. The breeze stirring from their wings refreshes the hero and heals his wounds. Shera dhrhr is feeling tranquil today. Half of the audience suddenly jumped to their feet and chanted, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ in eerie unison. Inspired by the support from above, He man 123 strains himself and quickly heals up some wounds. He man 123 makes a nasty comment about the weather, and a nearby stormcloud sends down a lightning bolt in retaliation. A voice from the clouds suddenly said, ‘Heal.’ ☣ Sinister Saul tried to strike, but a sudden attack of sciatica blurred the impression. 21:28 The skies darkened and released an angry swarm of undead locusts, devouring He man 123’s armor and lowering his self-esteem greatly. Something in the clouds roared, ‘Heal.’ ☣ The announcer suddenly interrupted his message about an illegally-parked Trojan Horse to proclaim, ‘strike the enemy.’ A Sad Panda leaned out of the bushes to gawk at the fight. 21:28 He man 123 suddenly lost his vision, stumbled around in the dark, and fell flat on his face. Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘Heal.’ ☣ Something in the clouds roared, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ He man 123’s friend cheered him on from the stands. Sinister Saul burns with envy. 21:29 Cheerleaders cartwheeled onto the field, formed a human pyramid, and yelled, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ Suddenly, some brainwashed security guards started attacking He man 123! Rah-Ja is being crafty. The scoreboard suddenly malfunctioned and showed the text, ‘Attack.’ ☣ Sinister Saul tried to burn the opponent with his eyes, but it seemed that bulging his eyes was simply not enough. 21:30 Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘Attack.’ ☣ A chorus of angels sings from the heavens. He man 123 feels uplifted by the music and finds his wounds are being healed. A booming voice from above said, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ He man 123 remembers about the bottle of iodine solution he had saved for a rainy day, runs aside and pours it on himself. Some people in the audience are shouting that battles are too cruel these days, and demanded that the arena be closed down, because it makes them sick. 21:30 Members of the audience raised cards which spelled out ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123 tore into Sinister Saul like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage. 21:31 A booming voice from above said, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ Inspired by the support from above, He man 123 strains himself and quickly heals up some wounds. He man 123 stood his ground as best as he could against Sinister Saul’s nose picking technique, but the damage was done. 21:32 The scoreboard suddenly malfunctioned and showed the text, ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123 waved a red rag in the enemy’s face as if he were a bull, then simply decided to stab him in the leg instead. 21:32 A voice came from somewhere above, ‘strike the enemy.’ The fighters took a break to shoot the breeze. Unfortunately for He man 123, the breeze ducked while Sinister Saul was shooting and he took the brunt of the attack. 21:33 A booming voice from above said, ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123, frustrated by his opponent’s blatant disregard of the rules set forth in the Godville Arena Battle Manual simply picks up the book and throws it at him. 21:34 Something in the clouds roared, ‘strike the enemy.’ The heroes took a timeout while a Zamboni resurfaced the arena. 21:34 The announcer suddenly interrupted his message to proclaim, ‘strike the enemy.’ Sinister Saul jabbed He man 123 in the funny bone. He man 123 didn’t laugh. 21:35 Catcalls of ‘strike the enemy.’ sound from the stands. He man 123 performed up, left, circle, square. Sinister Saul burst into flames. 21:36 Sinister Saul is unconscious. He man 123 successfully fulfilled the goal of praising his deity! Extra gold prize collected by the fans for the winner is 6557 gold coins. The winner got richer by 829 gold coins and a golden brick.
03.01.15
18:16 The earth shook and cracked. The majestic Hulking Broadbandit slowly rose from the steaming debris of granite. 18:16 He man 123 struck his rival’s jaw with all his might. Broadbandit tottered like a loose tooth. 18:17 Shera dhrhr painted a beautiful rainbow; a bridge of light arched down to her servant. Broadbandit wheezed resentfully, watching the enemy get stronger. Broadbandit teased his opponent and He man 123 executed a perfect roundhouse kick to his own face. 18:17 He man 123 raised his hands to the sky and murmured something unintelligible. Broadbandit immediately felt the wrath of the heavens rain down on him. He man 123 threw a strike of moderate strength at his rival. Broadbandit decided not to dodge this time. 18:18 Broadbandit is confused: a meteorite flying at him deviated from its course at the last moment and hit both opponents at once. Careful, Shera dhrhr! He man 123 tells the Broadbandit that he fights like a cow. Broadbandit promptly responds by stabbing He man 123 with his horns. 18:18 A chorus of angels sings from the heavens. He man 123 feels uplifted by the music and finds his wounds are being healed. Using the “wax on, wax off” technique, He man 123 removes his opponent’s eyebrow. Broadbandit screeches in pain and embarrassment. 18:19 Broadbandit was scalded with an abrupt lightning bolt from the sky. Broadbandit lay lifeless on the ground. As He man 123 approached, he suddenly sprang up and attacked. The “playing possum” strategy worked! 18:19 He man 123 felt a sudden burst of energy and rushed towards the enemy, cheering at the heavens. He man 123 tried to possess his enemy’s mind, but couldn’t hold it. Broadbandit now has a mild headache. 18:19 Suddenly, He man 123 grew two extra arms and started brutally punching Broadbandit. Shera dhrhr is not showing mercy. Broadbandit gathers all his force in his fist, but then decides to put it aside for later. 18:20 Broadbandit suddenly lost his vision, stumbled around in the dark, and fell flat on his face. He man 123 attempted to tickle his enemy to death, but Broadbandit feigned unconsciousness. 18:20 A zombie hand rose from the ground and held Broadbandit by the foot while lightning struck him. Seems like Shera dhrhr has had enough of Broadbandit. He man 123 tells the Broadbandit that he fights like a cow. Broadbandit promptly responds by stabbing He man 123 with his horns. 18:21 Shera dhrhr sent a fiery arrow from the sky. Broadbandit caught it neatly in a tender spot. While Broadbandit was preparing to block an unexpected scorpion kick to the back of the head, He man 123 slipped in an obvious jab to the nose. 18:21 The Broadbandit was used up for gold and experience! Time to return to my heroic deeds.
16:00 While digging, Syphrus, Graye, He man 123 and Ghostheer disturbed someone’s lair. A giant Deafening Overtaker shows up in front of them… Ghostheer felt a sudden burst of energy and rushed towards the enemy, cheering at the heavens. 16:00 Aiack painted a beautiful rainbow; a bridge of light arched down to his servant. Overtaker wheezed resentfully, watching the enemy get stronger. Overtaker bit the opponent on his neck, smacking his lips while sucking out some of his vitality. 16:01 ‘ATTACK.’ proclaimed Shera dhrhr from the clouds. The boss deafens down the voice with its loud battle cry. Overtaker received a third degree burn from He man 123’s smoldering charisma. Overtaker zigged when he should have zagged, consequently failing to dodge Syphrus’s blow. Ghostheer spun around and gave his enemy a good slap. Overtaker felt like something inside him cracked… Graye tore into Overtaker like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage. 16:01 ‘ATTACK.’ said Shera dhrhr from above. The boss deafens down the voice with its loud battle cry. A bright rainbow appeared on the battlefield. Beautiful, Aiack! Graye begged for a break, so Overtaker broke his nose. 16:01 Shera dhrhr roared from the clouds, ‘strike the enemy.’ The boss deafens down the voice with its loud battle cry. Graye managed to grab his opponent’s health bar and beat him with it, breaking off a piece in the process. Syphrus showed off her hair that was standing on its ends, due to the frequent lightning bolts she received. Overtaker was impressed and quickly lost a little bit of health. He man 123 threw some peanuts at his enemy. Overtaker felt like a monkey. Ghostheer told his opponent a bedtime story. While Overtaker’s eyes were closed, Ghostheer took a mighty swing at his head. 16:02 ‘ATTACK.’ said Shera dhrhr from above. The boss deafens down the voice with its loud battle cry. Enraged Overtaker ranted and raved at the opponent. 16:02 Shera dhrhr roared from the clouds, ‘strike the enemy.’ The boss deafens down the voice with its loud battle cry. Ghostheer’s wounds seemed to evaporate into thin air… Looks like all that praying paid off. Ghostheer slashed. Looks like Overtaker has a new scar to add to his collection. Overtaker received a good blow to the face. Graye politely offered to pick up his broken teeth. He man 123 struck his rival’s jaw with all his might. Overtaker rocked on his heels. Syphrus whispered a rumor about Overtaker to someone in the stands. Overtaker stomped his foot in frustration and broke his heel. 16:03 Shera dhrhr said from above, ‘ATTACK.’ The boss deafens down the voice with its loud battle cry. Overtaker roared with might and lunged at Syphrus for a blow. 16:03 Overtaker got punched so hard he saw dots before his eyes. He then connected them to make a smiley face. Neat. Syphrus took a hat in her hands and suddenly slammed it down on her enemy’s head. Overtaker deftly dodged a strike to the knee by taking it with his head instead. Overtaker nimbly dodged his rival’s attack, but bumped his head on a pillar that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. 16:04 Overtaker roared with might and lunged at Syphrus for a blow. 16:04 He man 123 suddenly got a burst of energy and rushed at the enemy with a double thrust! It seems that Shera dhrhr is on the watch… Syphrus aimed a fierce blow at the opponent’s “tender spot”, but Overtaker turned his hip and took almost no damage. Ghostheer struck a glancing blow. Overtaker dropped to the ground and feigned death. While Overtaker was busy counting crows, He man 123 crept up from behind and did his dirty business, removing several points from his rival’s health. Overtaker zigged when he should have zagged, consequently failing to dodge Graye’s blow. 16:04 Overtaker lay lifeless on the ground. As Graye approached, he suddenly sprang up and attacked. The “playing possum” strategy worked! 16:05 Graye observes as his wounds amazingly disappear. Novaefyre is on the watch! Overtaker screamed in agony as his worst nightmare showed up behind his eyelids. He man 123 clicked his tongue at his opponent. Overtaker dared Syphrus to attack and try her best. Syphrus dutifully complied and gave her opponent a severe concussion. Ghostheer spotted an open window of opportunity and quickly slammed it shut in Overtaker’s face. Graye clobbered his opponent on the head. Overtaker failed to protect himself properly. 16:05 A zombie hand rose from the ground and held Overtaker by the foot while lightning struck him. Seems like Shera dhrhr has had enough of Overtaker. Overtaker bit Graye’s arm and hung on for dear life. 16:06 He man 123 started to glow yellow by his goddess’ might, focused all the power on his hands, and launched a terrifying beam, burning Overtaker’s face. He man 123 slapped his opponent upside the head. Overtaker was slightly injured. Syphrus gave Overtaker a strong jolt, causing him to grit his teeth in agony. Graye strikes. Overtaker appears to have received a serious scratch. Ghostheer expertly spat a broken tooth right into his opponent’s eye. 16:06 Graye suddenly felt a surge of energy and forgot about his wounds! It looks like Novaefyre is on the watch… A peal of thunder distracted the fighters. It seems like it was Shera dhrhr’s doing… Enraged Overtaker ranted and raved at the opponent. 16:07 Graye spotted an open window of opportunity and quickly slammed it shut in Overtaker’s face. Ghostheer struck his rival’s jaw with all his might. Overtaker rocked on his heels. Overtaker stood his ground as best as he could against Syphrus’s nose picking technique, but the damage was done. He man 123 bit Overtaker’s arm and hung on for dear life. 16:07 Overtaker frightened the opponent with a sudden smirk, forcing him to drop the six-fingered glove out of his hands. 16:07 Sly He man 123 delivered a back-heel strike, flinging Overtaker headfirst into a nearby ravine. Ghostheer poked Overtaker gently. Overtaker suffered, but withstood the pain. Graye glared at Overtaker so harshly that he lost some of his self-confidence. Syphrus politely asked tramps that were passing by to hold back her rival for an especially nasty blow. 16:08 A swarm of insects fell from the sky onto Overtaker, who was severely traumatized by the experience. He man 123 gleefully filled out a bug report. Overtaker eagerly observes the enemy’s tender spots while salivating in anticipation. 16:08 Overtaker received a lightning bolt straight to his rear. He man 123 is prostrate, praising his goddess. He man 123 sadly noted the pieces of his shattered confidence after the last attack, then grabbed a sharp one and brutally stabbed Overtaker without warning. Overtaker stood his ground as best as he could against Graye’s nose picking technique, but the damage was done. Syphrus kicked with vigor, but Overtaker managed to somewhat deflect the strike. Overtaker got punched so hard he saw dots before his eyes. He then connected them to make a smiley face. Neat. 16:09 Overtaker eagerly observes the enemy’s tender spots while salivating in anticipation. 16:09 Ghostheer expertly spat a broken tooth right into his opponent’s eye. Syphrus strikes. Overtaker appears to have received a serious scratch. Graye rubbed some salt onto Overtaker’s wounds. He man 123 jabbed Overtaker in the funny bone. Overtaker didn’t laugh. 16:10 Shera dhrhr said from above, ‘strike thy enemy.’ The boss deafens down the voice with its loud battle cry. Graye zigged when he should have zagged, consequently failing to dodge Overtaker’s blow. 16:10 Looks like Overtaker suddenly had severe lag, so He man 123 tried to hit him as many times as possible. Ghostheer knocked his opponent off his feet, but Overtaker managed to grab the offender and pull him down too at the last moment. Syphrus politely asked tramps that were passing by to hold back her rival for an especially nasty blow. Overtaker looked away for a moment. Graye immediately took advantage of this and snatched the toy train of thoughtlessness from him. 16:10 Overtaker suddenly bit his enemy’s ear, almost tearing his head off. 16:11 Graye slashed. Looks like Overtaker has a new scar to add to his collection. Syphrus knocked her opponent off his feet, but Overtaker managed to grab the offender and pull her down too at the last moment. He man 123 sternly knitted his brow at his enemy. Overtaker lost a bit of health due to a lack of self-confidence. Ghostheer hit his rival in the ear. Overtaker was dazed and fell flat on his face. 16:11 A unicorn pranced into the battlefield and gently touched He man 123 with its horn, instantly healing his wounds. A beautiful blessing from Shera dhrhr! Overtaker was sneaking toward the enemy with short bush-to-bush dashes, but suddenly changed his mind and started doing somersaults. 16:12 Awkwardly bouncing from the enemy’s attack, He man 123 caught a lightning bolt intended for his rival. Overtaker received a good blow to the face. Graye politely offered to pick up his broken teeth. Overtaker dared He man 123 to attack and try his best. He man 123 dutifully complied and gave his opponent a severe concussion. Syphrus sneezed powerfully. Overtaker flew backwards. Ghostheer waved his arms around and stared intently in an effort to hypnotize his foe into hurting himself. It didn’t work, but Overtaker punched himself anyway to spare Ghostheer from embarrassment. 16:12 Overtaker eagerly observes the enemy’s tender spots while salivating in anticipation. 16:12 He man 123 suddenly felt a surge of energy and forgot about his wounds! It looks like Shera dhrhr is on the watch… Overtaker got punched so hard he saw dots before his eyes. He then connected them to make a smiley face. Neat. Ghostheer rubbed some salt onto Overtaker’s wounds. He man 123 sadly noted the pieces of his shattered confidence after the last attack, then grabbed a sharp one and brutally stabbed Overtaker without warning. Graye took off a shoe and performed a masterful headshot. Overtaker sustained a severe concussion. 16:13 Overtaker gleefully spat upon the opponent with poisonous saliva. 16:13 Shera dhrhr sent a fiery arrow from the sky. Overtaker caught it neatly in a tender spot. Syphrus tore into Overtaker like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage. Overtaker has been defeated and can’t continue the fight.
14:51 A disturbed Skilled Centourist roars menacingly and rushes to the hero. 14:51 He man 123 tore into Centourist like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage. 14:52 Centourist performed a three-hit combo in only two moves. Wow, he’s good! 14:52 A torrential rain converted the battlefield into a rejuvenating mudbath. The opponents returned to the fight feeling refreshed. Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘strike the enemy.’ In a sudden surge of genial unconsciousness He man 123 almost treated the enemy, but managed to change his mind at the last moment. 14:52 He man 123’s wounds seemed to evaporate into thin air… Looks like all that praying paid off. Something in the clouds roared, ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123 begged for a break, so Centourist broke his nose. 14:53 He man 123 embraced his rival so viciously that everything went dark before Centourist’s eyes. 14:53 A booming voice from above said, ‘strike the enemy.’ Centourist wins a heroic staring contest. He man 123 takes dry eye damage. 14:54 A voice came from somewhere above, ‘strike the enemy.’ Following an order from the sky, He man 123 smashes the haiku point into the opponent’s head. He man 123 threw a strike of moderate strength at his rival. Centourist decided not to dodge this time. 14:54 Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123 called his opponent a monster. Centourist took offense and slammed him in the ear with his paw. 14:55 A voice from the clouds suddenly said, ‘strike the enemy.’ Following an order from the sky, He man 123 smashes the piece of the Y-axis into the opponent’s head. Centourist dared He man 123 to attack and try his best. He man 123 dutifully complied and gave his opponent a severe concussion. 14:55 A voice came from somewhere above, ‘strike the enemy.’ Centourist rushed in to attack but tripped over his foot. He man 123 facepalmed so hard that he fractured his skull. 14:55 He man 123 grinned with thrilling vigor as the omnipotent power of his goddess closed his wounds before Centourist’s eyes. Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123 sadly noted the pieces of his shattered confidence after the last attack, then grabbed a sharp one and brutally stabbed Centourist without warning. 14:56 Centourist hit his rival in the ear. He man 123 was dazed and fell flat on his face. 14:56 He man 123 observes as his wounds amazingly disappear. Shera dhrhr is on the watch! A voice came from somewhere above, ‘strike the enemy.’ Following an order from the sky, He man 123 smashes the blast from the past into the opponent’s head. He man 123 rubbed some salt onto Centourist’s wounds. 14:57 A booming voice from above said, ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123 was knocked off his feet with the help of an uppercut from Centourist. 14:57 Something in the clouds roared, ‘strike the enemy.’ Obeying the order sent from above, He man 123 gathers his strength and strikes his opponent one more time. He man 123 was about to take a deep breath for a major strike when Centourist threw a handful of pepper, causing him to sneeze away a part of his life. 14:57 A voice came from somewhere above, ‘strike the enemy.’ During this turn Centourist managed to create an invisible artifact and gained health from the sense of deep artistic fulfillment. 14:58 Something in the clouds roared, ‘strike the enemy.’ Feeling the presence of his goddess, He man 123 rushes forward and gives the enemy a huge blow. He man 123 expertly spat a broken tooth right into his opponent’s eye. 14:58 Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘strike the enemy.’ During this turn Centourist managed to create a cliché filter and gained health from the sense of deep artistic fulfillment. 14:59 A booming voice from above said, ‘strike the enemy.’ Inspired by the voice of his goddess, He man 123 severely thrashed his enemy. He man 123 slammed Centourist rashly. Centourist dodged most of the blow, taking little damage. 14:59 Centourist disassembled his invisible artifact, created Death’s chess set and threw the remaining parts at the opposition. 14:59 A voice from the clouds suddenly said, ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123 threw a strike of moderate strength at his rival. Centourist decided not to dodge this time. 15:00 Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘strike the enemy.’ Centourist shoves a bucket onto He man 123’s head and watches him run around in circles. 15:00 A booming voice from above said, ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123 kicked with vigor, but Centourist managed to somewhat deflect the strike. 15:01 The Centourist was triumphantly defeated! I’ve gained more experience and looted some gold, but it’s time to return to my heroic deeds.
09:16 In the red corner of the arena — He man 123. In the blue corner — Leg. The judge makes the heroes equal and gives the go-ahead to the duel. The judge decides to impose an additional rule for this fight: arena priests set the maximum action limit to 2 (instead of 4) for this fight. 09:16 He man 123 expertly spat a broken tooth right into his opponent’s eye. 09:17 Leg attacked with a spark strike. He man 123 showered the surrounding area with sparks. 09:18 Leg tried cracking his knuckles to intimidate He man 123, only to end up hurting himself. 09:18 Leg lets loose a battle cry and rushes towards He man 123. He man 123 takes little damage, but his equipment isn’t so lucky. 09:19 He man 123 opened his mouth. Leg choked on the fragrant exhalation. 09:20 A voice came from somewhere above, ‘defend yourself.’ Leg’s inertia seriously bores He man 123, severely damaging his motivation. 09:21 A voice from the clouds suddenly said, ‘strike the enemy.’ Following an order from the sky, He man 123 smashes the public sphere into the opponent’s head. He man 123 noticed that his rival was feeling some sort of pressure in the jaw area and used his fist to relieve it. 09:21 The scoreboard suddenly malfunctioned and showed the text, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ Following the hint from above, He man 123 quickly swallowed some healing herbs. A swarm of insects fell from the sky onto He man 123, who was severely traumatized by the experience. Leg gleefully filled out a bug report. Leg unleashed a barrage of painful puns. He man 123 winced in agony. 09:22 A zombie hand rose from the ground and held He man 123 by the foot while lightning struck him. Seems like Legacy1205 has had enough of He man 123. ‘Heal yourself use iodine.,’ screamed a very surprised snack vendor in the stands. Leg nimbly dodged his rival’s attack, but bumped his head on a pillar that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. 09:23 He man 123 felt a sudden burst of energy and rushed towards the enemy, cheering at the heavens. Members of the audience raised cards which spelled out ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ Encouraged by the support from the stands, Leg threatened to sneeze on his opponent. He man 123 was so afraid of infection that he turned pale in horror. 09:23 Suddenly, some brainwashed security guards started attacking He man 123! Legacy1205 is being crafty. A voice came from somewhere above, ‘strike the enemy.’ Leg stood in a low wide stance, to begin charging an energy ball. A good old punch to the face from He man 123 was a good reminder that heroes can’t shoot energy balls. 09:24 A chorus of angels sings from the heavens. He man 123 feels uplifted by the music and finds his wounds are being healed. The scoreboard suddenly malfunctioned and showed the text, ‘strike the enemy.’ While He man 123 was preparing to block an unexpected scorpion kick to the back of the head, Leg slipped in an obvious jab to the nose. 09:25 A voice from the clouds suddenly said, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ He man 123 made a secret sign to the spectators in the stands, and within moments, Leg was dodging a volley of rotten tomatoes. 09:25 He man 123 received a lightning bolt straight to his rear. Leg is prostrate, praising his god. Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ He man 123 pushed his foe into the stands. Leg was nearly torn to shreds by a bloodthirsty mob of spectators. 09:26 A torrential rain converted the battlefield into a rejuvenating mudbath. The opponents returned to the fight feeling refreshed. The judge’s eyes suddenly rolled into the back of his head and he screamed, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ Inspired by the support from above, He man 123 strains himself and quickly heals up some wounds. Leg spun around and gave his enemy a good slap. He man 123 felt like something inside him cracked… 09:27 A peal of thunder distracted the fighters. It seems like it was Legacy1205’s doing… The scoreboard suddenly malfunctioned and showed the text, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ Following the hint from above, He man 123 quickly swallowed some healing herbs. He man 123 inflicted serious cuts with his sharp sense of humor. 09:27 The announcer suddenly interrupted his message about an illegally-parked Trojan Horse to proclaim, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ Leg gave He man 123 a strong jolt, causing him to grit his teeth in agony. 09:28 Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ He man 123 ran into his opponent as hard as he could. Leg almost fell to his knees. 09:29 A voice from the clouds suddenly said, ‘defend.’ A booming voice from above said, ‘heal yourself.’ ☣ Leg struck a glancing blow. He man 123 dropped to the ground and feigned death. 09:29 The scoreboard suddenly malfunctioned and showed the text, ‘heal yourself.’ ☣ Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘strike the enemy.’ He man 123 suddenly shot daggers from his eyes and, in a magnificent display of skill, Leg deftly managed to catch two of them with his teeth and one more with his chest. 09:30 Something in the clouds roared, ‘defend.’ Obeying his goddess, He man 123 blocks some of the damage. Catcalls of ‘heal yourself use iodine.’ sound from the stands. ☣ A blow, another blow! He man 123 felt his head go flat. 09:31 A voice came from somewhere above, ‘strike the enemy.’ Leg begged for a break, so He man 123 broke his nose. 09:31 A booming voice from above said, ‘defend.’ Everything in the area suddenly started to vibrate from a loud voice commanding, ‘heal yourself use iodine.’ ☣ Leg showed He man 123 the nutritional value of eating dirt. 09:32 A voice came from somewhere above, ‘heal yourself use iodine.’ ☣ Catcalls of ‘strike the enemy.’ sound from the stands. He man 123 relied too much on spellcheck and ‘fainted’ when he meant to ‘feint’, taking some damage as his head hit the ground. 09:33 The scoreboard suddenly malfunctioned and showed the text, ‘Heal yourself use iodine.’ Following the hint from above, He man 123 quickly swallowed some healing herbs. Leg introduced his weapon to He man 123’s face. 09:33 The judge’s eyes suddenly rolled into the back of his head and he screamed, ‘strike the enemy.’ Inspired by the voice of his goddess, He man 123 severely thrashed his enemy. Leg stood in a low wide stance, to begin charging an energy ball. A good old punch to the face from He man 123 was a good reminder that heroes can’t shoot energy balls. 09:34 Leg surrenders. He man 123 definitely fulfilled his goddess’ expectations today! The winner got richer by 554 coins and a golden brick.
02.10.15
18:14 Azrath Bunny and He man 123 look at each other appraisingly. A woman announces, “May the odds be ever in your favor!” and the duel begins! The Department of Fight Diversity decides to impose an additional rule for this duel: local priests promise to try praying hard to restore some godpower during the fight. 18:15 Azrath Bunny strikes. He man 123 appears to have received a serious scratch. 18:15 He man 123 gave Azrath Bunny a strong jolt, causing him to grit his teeth in agony. 18:16 Azrath Bunny pointed and yelled “Look! A distraction!” When He man 123 turned around, Azrath Bunny hit him over the head with his weapon. 18:17 Excited spectators are chanting, “Rah-rah-rah!”. 18:17 Shera dhrhr sent a fiery arrow from the sky. Azrath Bunny caught it neatly in a tender spot. He man 123 struck a glancing blow. Azrath Bunny dropped to the ground and feigned death. 18:18 A zombie hand rose from the ground and held Azrath Bunny by the foot while lightning struck him. Seems like Shera dhrhr has had enough of Azrath Bunny. He man 123 was knocked off his feet with the help of an uppercut from Azrath Bunny. 18:19 What a pass! What a somersault! Observers rejoice. 18:19 He man 123 stamped on his opponent’s big toe and caused Azrath Bunny to angrily hop on one foot. 18:20 A voice from the clouds suddenly said, ‘block thy enemy.’ Azrath Bunny told a ‘knock knock’ joke. He man 123 laughed and lost all his credibility. 18:21 A voice came from somewhere above, ‘heal yourself my champion.’ Inspired by the support from above, He man 123 strains himself and quickly heals up some wounds. He man 123 managed to grab his opponent’s health bar and beat him with it, breaking off a piece in the process. 18:21 Azrath Bunny makes a nasty comment about the weather, and a nearby stormcloud sends down a lightning bolt in retaliation. A booming voice from above said, ‘strike thy enemy.’ Following an order from the sky, He man 123 smashes the gummi bearskin rug into the opponent’s head. Azrath Bunny performed a three-hit combo in only two moves. Wow, he’s good! 18:22 Azrath Bunny is on his knees. He man 123 salutes to the heavens! The winner got richer by 887 coins and a golden brick.
02.08.15 01:46 Performed a triple-combo fatality attack. The Angel Of Death Metal applauded in awe before choreographically exploding into a shower of 75 coins.
02.08.15 01:18 Good news, Mighty One! I learned a very useful new skill: “fanned fingers”. At least the traveling master who trained me promised it was very useful. 01:17 I’m like, level 18 now! I’m like way more mature now! You can’t tell me what to do anymore, Almighty.
01:10 Catsup the Mild was removed from my potential threats list. She will remember not to stand in my way again. 01:10 Notes from the arena: Catsup the Mild is unconscious. He man 123 successfully fulfilled the goal of praising his deity! The winner got richer by 703 gold coins and a golden brick. 12:51 Notes from the arena: Shouting, “Hate us cause u ain’t us!” He man 123 welcomes his opponent. Catsup the Mild idly responds with “For Slot Bommelstein!!!”. The judge ensures that both opponents have equal chances and the duel begins.
Involuntarily kicked the Battle Hamster to death. Hey, that must be the same reflex as when the doctor tapped my knee! Snatched a thought bubble and 36 coins from its remains… there’s nothing wrong with my loot reflex.
11:15 Strange words drifted by in a cloud of smoke: “why are you being owned by a bunny?” (+|−|➠|☣) 11:14 Well, it looks like I will be busy for awhile. I’ve got a feeling this Syntax Terror is going to give me plenty to do… 11:13 Thought about writing in my diary, but then I changed my mind. 11:13 The Terror Dactyl claimed that it had inner beauty despite its gruff appearance. I see what it meant: The box of fig neutrons and 37 coins I found inside were exceedingly beautiful. 11:12 Wow! I feel as if a new me has been awakened! 11:10 Crushed the Lady’s Knight like a bug. Tried to pull off one of its wings as a trophy, but it turned out to be a truth embellisher instead.
09:56 Killed the Necrophobic Zombie. Acquired an imperfect attendance award and 41 coins. 09:55 My Lady decided to cleanse the area with fire. I managed to jump aside, duck and cover. However, the poor Necrophobic Zombie was less fortunate and was burned quite badly. 09:55 Bird droppings spattered across the road, spelling out “examine “book of common knowledge”.” 09:55 Unscrewed the top of my hip flask, and was amazed to hear, “read book of common knowledge.” from inside it. 09:55 A twist here, a fold there, insert tab A into slot B… I’ve managed to transform the defeated Jitter-Bug’s carcass into a trojan horseshoe! 09:54 Impressive, Omnipotent One. The Jitter-Bug AND my eyebrows, in one shot! Maybe a little less fire next time? 09:53 It seems that there are a lot of puns and contradictions in my world. Maybe I should think about it… Or maybe not. 09:53 Yelled ‘Hate us cause u ain’t us!’ at the Apocalypse Cow and it died laughing. Found 4 gold coins.
Staged a funeral for the Warlock Holmes. Its friends gave me 32 gold coins and a red hot poker chip as funeral donations. I had to remember the solemnity of the occasion and to avoid rubbing my hands in anticipation.
02.08.15 Saw a dog barking next to a well. I’m rusty on my doglish, but I think he wants me to finish an everlasting gobstopper. Yeah, that’s it.
02.08.15 Defeated the Terrorbyte and relieved it of a book of common knowledge and 36 coins. Buried its corpse in a nearby vegetable patch. May it rest in peas. HM
02.08.15 Notes from the arena: BloodBlade is on his knees. He man 123 salutes to the heavens! Extra gold prize collected by the fans for the winner is 7802 gold coins. The winner got richer by 1828 gold coins and a golden brick
02.07.15 My quest to measure the depth of despair was a complete success. Got a slightly scuffed golden brick as a reward. I think I’d rather use this brick in the back corner of my temple.
02.07.15 Notes from the arena: Chenhui is on his knees. He man 123 salutes to the heavens! The winner got richer by 95 coins and a golden brick