I spent many years (days really) killing monsters with my gods help. One day I noticed a sign offering rewards for arena wins. Ecstatic, I shouted “I’m in!” as I ran to the door.
“Not a chance.” I heard my god nonchalantly reply.
“Oh please, oh please, oh please!” I begged, knowing that with his help it would be a piece of cake to win all the battles.
“You’re on your own with this.” he replied as he shrugged his shoulders and wandered off.
“Well, I know how to fight. I can win these on my own.” I muttered to myself as I opened the door and pushed past other heroes waiting patiently in line to the registration desk.
I thought it would be simple. One hero against another, but then I started hearing voices coming from the heavens. It wasn’t the referee or anyone in the crowd, but my competitors seemed to take heed of the voices at times.
I will get to the bottom of the mystery! I better record these strange phrases here so I can one day make sense of it.
- Attack with the force of a thousand walnuts!
- Attack VCs: attack, hit, kick, punch, strike, tramp, beat, knock, smash, crush.
- Attack! Kill! Smite! Kick!
- Clinical strike, 5 level, combat.
- Hit harder! Attack! Strike! Kick! Punch! Smite! Destroy! Pray! Kill! Heal! Rest!
- finish the infidel.
- use the vial of vitamin c++.
- final blows Kal-El don’t let up.
- finish this!
- Smite your opponent!
- Defend yourself!
- Attack! Smite! Kick! Fartplosion!
- drink leeches. heal with poison. restore your opponents health. rest for no reason.
- ‘Strike him with all your might!’
- Sooba atack.
- defend and fight.
- atack.
- I need your prayers!
- And then I want you to kill yourself.
- Because I hate everyone equally, and no one ALIVE can comprehend my sexual preference!
- Also baste a turkey, and then have sex with it, that’s right,.
- So… how about you and me go out for some godbeer after out champs are done?
- Defend yourself, my champion, OR NO CAKE!
- Smite for the eyes, my champion. SMITE FOR THE EYES!
- EXAMINE WATERMELON!!
- I’m hungry. I forgot to lack a punch.
- Kick, there’s no time for that quack!
- Don’t crush or you might rash.
- Nooo! Don’t hit the bunny phone!
- To get a quite into the air, you gotta run kick!
- Don’t even think about pinking the drink elephants.
- kill him or I will kill you.