Early on in my infancy, I would never listen to my Higher Power, and I would waste ALL my money at the bar, instead of purchasing a really good weapon, I would pick up a Broken Stick and use that. Funny thing is, I would actually pay the Trader’s for that Broken Stick. I actually walked around for a few days with a Traffic Cone on my head, using it as a form of armor.
I also received a quest, “Learn to Quit Drinking”, and I managed to compleyte this quest, the entire time I was DRUNK! I even had to pay 1885 Gold Coins for my booze bill and all the damage that I somehow managed to do to the bar. Don’t ask me, I blacked out!! At least I didn’t wake up sleeping with a donkey or some other crazy monster!
At times I feel like I am in a cartoon and that wascally wabbit Bugs Bunny will pop out of a hole and say, “He should of made a left turn at Albuquerque!!”
Through out my travels I have learned that the town merchants are either monsters in disguise or are part of the Monsters R Merchants Syndicate, so be careful. That is how monsters get their loot. Bribe when necessary!
I also found out that My Lord and Savior is a Peeping Tom (God) ever since they got this special ability called, “Third Eye”
I got so confused I didn’t know what to spend my gold coins on anymore! Booze, Gold Bricks, Skill Books, Praying, Equipment, or more Booze? Booze it is!!
I found out that the moon is made out of; Out of this World Cheese and tasted so great, that is why there is only a little bit left. That is okay, because the moon will soon disappear for a day, and start regenerating itself. It is a Self-Regenerating Out of this World Cheesy Moon!
Maybe next someone will ask for my bank account number because a long lost relative died and they will send their Gold Coins directly into my bank after I have to send them Gold Coins to pay for the lawyer fee’s! Damn scams!
Ahhhhhh! My BYOB Guild Card, much better than American Express or Visa card! I get free equipment!!
I wish I could learn how to repair my own equipment, or have it repaired while I am at the bar!!
I had to fight a Sun Dog, and after I beat him up, I looked into his eyes and realized, he was going to be my traveling companion and I’ll name him Boo!! My first pet ever! I am so excited!!
Do you know something? I think I am getting worse instead of better at being a Heroine.. Am I somehow losing experience points instead of gaining them? Did Boo steal some of my experience points? Why do I keep dying?!!?
In a drunken stupor someone tried to get me to abandon my current guild and join a new guild! Damn haters! I was lucky my Lord and Savior was sober and pointed this out to me! Thank you for the quick thinking My Lord, because I would of had to start the Careerist Achievement all over, and would of lost my friends!
For some odd reason I had to empty a lake with a spoon and while doing that I came across a carnivorous plant that emits a scent of beer! I saw many hero’s and heroines entrapped by this new plant that I will call beeranium! All they need now is a traveling Beertown, that would be LIT most Omnipotent One!
While traveling, a Undead Pixie granted me a honorary comrade of the Common Monsters’ Revolution!!
I spent all my money on Gold Bricks, equipment, skill upgrades, weapon warranty’s, and other stuff I didn’t need. Because of this, I have lost my first pet Boo. Sorry Boo, I couldn’t curb my spending to have you recovered by the priests! I am so sorry! I even Paid 1135 Gold Coins to attend a seminar on money-saving techniques.
R.I.P. Boo (Day 91) An excellent Sun Dog (Level 14), my first pet. Boo will be missed!
On Day 99, I found my second pet, a Dust Bunny I called Sven!
I got a notarized document stating I died fewer times then I thought from a black briefcase! I wonder what would happen if I find more of those documents than I have died? Do I become Immortal, Undead, or Unborn?? Hmm… I am going to have to experiment with that. I MUST FIND MORE NOTARIZED DOCUMENTS!!! Help me, my Lord!
I have learned to stop wasting my God Power on opening deus ex machina, three times in a row I lost a Gold Brick!! The old rule; Three strikes and your out, applies now!
- My thrashing of Mad Clown Chronicle #2 on 08/10/2017 @ 15:14
- My destruction of Ancient Demon Chronicle on 08/19/2017 @ 08:07
- Dejasidra and I dug up an Heromnivore Chronicle on 10/05/2017 @ 10:11
- November Charlie, Gilgaareth, and I dug up a Moleosaurus Chronicle on 10/25/2017 @ 10:16
- My battle with Archnemesis Chronicle on 11/28/2017 @ 10:08
- Devastation of a Beerkat Chronicle on 12/05/2017 @ 23:11
- My battle with Zodiyak Chronicle on 12/22/2017 @ 03:13
- My melting of The Snowman Chronicle on 12/27/2017 @ 20:58
- My melting of The Snowman Chronicle #2 on 12/28/2017 @ 12:10
- Pai Ayam and I dug up a Censorcerer Chronicle on 01/19/2018 @ 06:35
On Day 206, I died for the 22nd time! I am getting worse at this! :(
On Day 175, Sven got knocked out and was healed by the priests on Day 175 (18 hours 33 minutes)
Here are the last few snippets from my Diary, and my Thoughts.
I Hope you enjoy!
Day 188 (6 months 8 days):
New level! Level 40!
06:05 AM Harder, better, faster, stronger… I’m level 40 and I’m loving every minute of it!
Day 189 (6 months 9 days):
You go, Sven!! Level 15!
02:18 AM Sven just made another notch on his collar. Looks like he got his next level.
Keep up the good luck Sven!
03:22 AM Suddenly Sven belched loudly, then vomited up an arena ticket. I really have to change his food rations.
Day 190 (6 months 10 days):
Guess what? Dead again!
09:18 PM Game over! Press “Resurrect” to continue…
How come I die more than my pet, my Lord!
12:00 AM Pulse… check. Breathing… check. All limbs… check. Looks like I’m alive again. Off to the tavern!
03:19 AM The local tavern owner suddenly proclaimed ‘Free beer on behalf of the “BYOB” guild!’ Looks like my guild is getting great recognition in this town.
Godville second influence:
03:43 AM The flagpole bearing the “BYOB” flag grew dramatically in height, channeling a storm of thunderbolts, destined for the townsfolk, safely into the ground.
Day 194 (6 months 14 days):
04:28 AM As I entered the town square, a flash mob appeared and sang a rousing rendition of the “BYOB” theme song, along with elaborate choreography, then faded away into the cheering crowd.
Day 195 (6 months 15 days):
11:23 AM A priest suddenly realized that the sacred inscription on the ancient monolith in the town square was actually an anagram of “BYOB”! I made sure to spread the amazing news in all the local taverns.
Day 196 (6 months 16 days):
Level 16 Sven! Doing great!!
03:43 PM Sven ran into a phone booth. He spun around quickly, and was very excited to find himself bigger, stronger and leveled up.
04:37 PM Helped the citizens of Herowin recycle the thousands of pink-feather-boa-clad, guild-leader statues that mysteriously showed up. My guild is going to gain more influence here.
01:10 AM A sudden tremor rocked the town as a new tavern rose from the ground. I quickly claimed ownership for “BYOB”.
Day 201 (6 months 21 days):
I wonder what will happen today that will make me look awesome for my Lord and Savior? How about advancing to Level 41?!?
09:30 AM I would have leveled up sooner, but I had to learn to count to 41.
10:01 AM Voices erupted in the Godville town square. When I went over, I saw the fountain flowing with beer and a pile of mugs with “BYOB” written on the side.
My God Ratphour made it to 15th place in the Godville Crossword puzzle!
- Vertibraker (65)
- My Preciousss (55)
- Wahoowa (52)
- Queen Me (50)
- Anyaanka (50)
- Areif (48)
- The Great Jimsky (48)
- That which is not (48)
- Nwhitecat (47)
- Sparkoflife (46)
- Fruit the Juice (42)
- Tamea (40)
- Klonopins (39)
- Kevin-G93 (39)
- Ratphour (38)
- Slug-Ra (38)
- Gobo42 (37)
- Petealmighty (36)
- Guilef (36)
- Exodi (35)
Day 205 (6 months 25 days):
12:46 AM A freak gust of wind blew my guild promotion flyers out of my hands. Amazingly, a sudden vortex then dispersed the flyers, sending one into the letterbox of every household in Anville!
Day 206 (6 months 26 days):
Died again my Lord!
08:13 PM The Dragon With A Girl Tattoo’s fighting style was so banal and repetitive that I lost my will to live. I’m not sure where I left it, but hopefully I’ll find it in the afterlife.
09:07 PM Resurrected during my autopsy. Gave the coroner the scare of his life!
Day 210 (7 months):
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Day 220 (7 months 10 days):