Early on in my infancy, I would never listen to my Higher Power, and I would waste ALL my money at the bar, instead of purchasing a really good weapon, I would pick up a Broken Stick and use that. Funny thing is, I would actually pay the Trader’s for that Broken Stick. I actually walked around for a few days with a Traffic Cone on my head, using it as a form of armor.
I also received a quest, “Learn to Quit Drinking”, and I managed to complete this quest, the entire time I was DRUNK! I even had to pay 1885 Gold Coins for my booze bill and all the damage that I somehow managed to do to the bar. Don’t ask me, I blacked out!! At least I didn’t wake up sleeping with a donkey or some other crazy monster!
At times I feel like I am in a cartoon and that wascally wabbit Bugs Bunny will pop out of a hole and say, “He should of made a left turn at Albuquerque!!”
Through out my travels I have learned that the town merchants are either monsters in disguise or are part of the Monsters R Merchants Syndicate, so be careful. That is how monsters get their loot. Bribe when necessary!
I also found out that My Lord and Savior is a Peeping Tom (God) ever since they got this special ability called, “Third Eye”
I got so confused I didn’t know what to spend my gold coins on anymore! Booze, Gold Bricks, Skill Books, Praying, Equipment, or more Booze? Booze it is!!
I found out that the moon is made out of; Out of this World Cheese and tasted so great, that is why there is only a little bit left. That is okay, because the moon will soon disappear for a day, and start regenerating itself. It is a Self-Regenerating Out of this World Cheesy Moon!
Maybe next someone will ask for my bank account number because a long lost relative died and they will send their Gold Coins directly into my bank after I have to send them Gold Coins to pay for the lawyer fee’s! Damn scams!
Ahhhhhh! My BYOB Guild Card, much better than American Express or Visa card! I get free equipment!!
I wish I could learn how to repair my own equipment, or have it repaired while I am at the bar!!
I had to fight a Sun Dog, and after I beat him up, I looked into his eyes and realized, he was going to be my traveling companion and I’ll name him Boo!! My first pet ever! I am so excited!!
Do you know something? I think I am getting worse instead of better at being a Heroine.. Am I somehow losing experience points instead of gaining them? Did Boo steal some of my experience points? Why do I keep dying?!!?
In a drunken stupor someone tried to get me to abandon my current guild and join a new guild! Damn haters! I was lucky my Lord and Savior was sober and pointed this out to me! Thank you for the quick thinking My Lord, because I would of had to start the Careerist Achievement all over, and would of lost my friends!
For some odd reason I had to empty a lake with a spoon and while doing that I came across a carnivorous plant that emits a scent of beer! I saw many hero’s and heroines entrapped by this new plant that I will call beeranium! All they need now is a traveling Beertown, that would be LIT most Omnipotent One!
While traveling, a Undead Pixie granted me a honorary comrade of the Common Monsters’ Revolution!!
I even Paid 1135 Gold Coins to attend a seminar on money-saving techniques.
I spent all my money on Gold Bricks, equipment, skill upgrades, weapon warranty’s, and other stuff I didn’t need. Because of this, I have lost my first pet Boo. Sorry Boo, I couldn’t curb my spending to have you recovered by the priests! I am so sorry!
R.I.P. Boo (Day 91) An excellent Sun Dog (Level 14), my first pet. Boo will be missed!
On Day 99, I found my second pet, a Dust Bunny I called Sven!
- My thrashing of Mad Clown Chronicle on 08/02/2017 @ 08:58
- My thrashing of Mad Clown Chronicle #2 on 08/10/2017 @ 15:14
- My destruction of Ancient Demon Chronicle on 08/19/2017 @ 08:07
- Dejasidra and I dug up an Heromnivore Chronicle on 10/05/2017 @ 10:11
- November Charlie, Gilgaareth, and I dug up a Moleosaurus Chronicle on 10/25/2017 @ 10:16
- My battle with Archnemesis Chronicle on 11/28/2017 @ 10:08
On Day 121, I died for the 14th time and was resurrected 1 minute after I died! Thanks Lord and Savior!!
On Day 110, Sven got knocked out and was healed by the priests on Day 110!
On Day 79, I changed my motto from Where is my towel?!? to Mostly Harmless… 🍺!
Here are some snippets from my Diary, and my Thoughts. I Hope you enjoy!
Day 116 (3 months 26 days):
I hope my God won’t be angry! But I got tired of my Lord and Savior always stealing my items for Bingo!!!!
09:53 AM Paid a wise old man 827 coins to teach me a new way to annoy my god.
: Maybe I should start throwing down some lightning bolts to annoy you?, puny mortal!
Day 118 (3 months 28 days):
In a drunken stupor, someone was trying to trick me into joining a new guild!
11:05 PM Found a note stuck to the bottom of my beer. It said, “Congratulations! You’ve been poisoned! If you become the 33rd member of the guild “usual suspects” we’ll give you the antidote.” Sounds like fun. Except for the poisoning part.
Lucky my Lord and Savior was sober and pointed this out to me. Thank you, most divine one!!
01:06 AM Suddenly realized that to become the 33rd member of the guild “usual suspects” doesn’t sound heroic enough for my chronicles. Thank you, Almighty, that could have been a real stain on my reputation!
Day 119 (3 months 29 days):
07:06 PM Billboards all over Monsterdam proclaimed the local beer bottle recycling drive a success, thanks to help from the members of “BYOB.” And I have never been more proud of my contribution to anything.
Day 120 (4 months):
Woohoo!! Level 7! You go, Sven!!
04:13 AM Sven jumped into a bush and came out bigger and stronger. Wow, he leveled up! Maybe I should try that.
My God loves me so much, he always pulls me out of danger!!!
I really need to stop wasting my money!!!
12:01 PM Yelled “Mostly Harmless… 🍺” into the night. Paid 2214 gold coins as a compensation for waking half the town.
Epic quest already? Last time I did a epic quest was 10 days ago and Sven got knocked out during it!! Please Lord and Savior, protect Sven and I! I will donate more!
03:16 AM Oh, I guess this quest is going to be really epic! I have to journey there and back again. It’s going to be a long day…
Day 121 (4 months 1 day):
04:46 PM Couldn’t stand having to fight both fate and the Unregistered Pet.
Thanks for the quick service God!
04:47 PM I’m ALIVE! It’s a miracle!
Battled with a Boss, Archnemesis, see my log
10:18 PM Notes from the battlefield: The Archnemesis was triumphantly defeated! I’ve gained more experience and looted some gold, but it’s time to return to my heroic deeds.
: Fribee, you forgot something back at camp. Better run!!
04:27 AM Mr. False God? This is Chiccane. Can you let Fribee know that she forgot her diary at camp again?
Day 122 (4 months 2 days):
Day 123 (4 months 3 days):
Day 124 (4 months 4 days):
Day 125 (4 months 5 days):
Day 126 (4 months 6 days):
Day 127 (4 months 7 days):
Day 128 (4 months 8 days):
Day 129 (4 months 9 days):
Day 130 (4 months 10 days):