Early on in my infancy, I would never listen to my Higher Power, and I would waste ALL my money at the bar, instead of purchasing a really good weapon, I would pick up a Broken Stick and use that. Funny thing is, I would actually pay the Trader’s for that Broken Stick. I actually walked around for a few days with a Traffic Cone on my head, using it as a form of armor.
I also received a quest, “Learn to Quit Drinking”, and I managed to complete this quest, the entire time I was DRUNK! I even had to pay 1885 Gold Coins for my booze bill and all the damage that I somehow managed to do to the bar. Don’t ask me, I blacked out!! At least I didn’t wake up sleeping with a donkey or some other crazy monster!
At times I feel like I am in a cartoon and that wascally wabbit Bugs Bunny will pop out of a hole and say, “He should of made a left turn at Albuquerque!!”
Through out my travels I have learned that the town merchants are either monsters in disguise or are part of the Monsters R Merchants Syndicate, so be careful. That is how monsters get their loot. Bribe when necessary!
I also found out that My Lord and Savior is a Peeping Tom (God) ever since they got this special ability called, “Third Eye”
I got so confused I didn’t know what to spend my gold coins on anymore! Booze, Gold Bricks, Skill Books, Praying, Equipment, or more Booze? Booze it is!!
I found out that the moon is made out of; Out of this World Cheese and tasted so great, that is why there is only a little bit left. That is okay, because the moon will soon disappear for a day, and start regenerating itself. It is a Self-Regenerating Out of this World Cheesy Moon!
Maybe next someone will ask for my bank account number because a long lost relative died and they will send their Gold Coins directly into my bank after I have to send them Gold Coins to pay for the lawyer fee’s! Damn scams!
Ahhhhhh! My BYOB Guild Card, much better than American Express or Visa card! I get free equipment!!
I wish I could learn how to repair my own equipment, or have it repaired while I am at the bar!!
I had to fight a Sun Dog, and after I beat him up, I looked into his eyes and realized, he was going to be my traveling companion and I’ll name him Boo!! My first pet ever! I am so excited!!
Do you know something? I think I am getting worse instead of better at being a Heroine.. Am I somehow losing experience points instead of gaining them? Did Boo steal some of my experience points? Why do I keep dying?!!?
In a drunken stupor someone tried to get me to abandon my current guild and join a new guild! Damn haters! I was lucky my Lord and Savior was sober and pointed this out to me! Thank you for the quick thinking My Lord, because I would of had to start the Careerist Achievement all over, and would of lost my friends!
For some odd reason I had to empty a lake with a spoon and while doing that I came across a carnivorous plant that emits a scent of beer! I saw many hero’s and heroines entrapped by this new plant that I will call beeranium!
- My thrashing of Mad Clown Chronicle on 08/02/2017 @ 08:58
- My thrashing of Mad Clown Chronicle #2 on 08/10/2017 @ 15:14
- My destruction of Ancient Demon Chronicle on 08/19/2017 @ 08:07
Here are some snippets from my Diary, and my Thoughts. I Hope you enjoy!
Day 53 (1 month 23 days):
Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop?
06:09 PM “BYOB” signs appeared on all the walls and buildings in town in glowing paint. This will show the other guilds that Bumchester is our territory now, at least until they paint it over again.
Finally, a quest that will be relaxing!
06:06 AM As I was going through Godville, I saw a sign that read, “Keep calm and take a nap in the lap of luxury.” Well, then.
Day 54 (1 month 24 days):
I love my Boo!!
12:20 PM Frantically rubbed my fingers in Boo’s fur, generating static electricity. Fear me and my shocking powers!
05:54 PM Met Brisket on the roadside. He has such great equipment, and I just have this crappy outfit. Bad luck?
Yawn! Best quest ever!
06:01 PM Luxury’s lap wasn’t the most comfortable, but I feel awake enough to take on another quest. My quest to take a nap in the lap of luxury was a triumph! I’m making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. Got a golden brick too.
Maybe quitting my beer addiction all at once was a bad idea?!
06:03 AM Decided to go to a coffee shop instead of the tavern to save money. Still spent 1325 coins, but was awake all night worrying about it.
Day 55 (1 month 25 days):
I can’t believe I died again yesterday. When will I begin to learn the art of not dying?!
Oh, my Boo! Another level!! You are getting so big, no longer the puppy I use to have! Level 9!
02:02 PM Boo jumped into a bush and came out bigger and stronger. Wow, he leveled up! Maybe I should try that.
03:20 AM Donated sunglasses to the residents of Beerburgh in an attempt to solve the recent eyestrain epidemic caused by a spate of luminous haloes. My guild will gain influence here.
Day 56 (1 month 26 days):
Still love my BYOB Guild Card, lots of freebies! Let’s see you do this VISA or MasterCard!
07:52 AM The trader was impressed by my “BYOB” guild membership card. Received a bionic commando’s arm as a free gift.
Day 57 (1 month 27 days):
11:55 AM As I entered the town square, a flash mob appeared and sang a rousing rendition of the “BYOB” theme song, along with elaborate choreography, then faded away into the cheering crowd.
What a bogus fine!!
12:08 PM After years of research and development I unveiled my new cocktail to the regulars of “Khaki-colored Dragon” last night. It’s made by pouring half a pint of beer on top of another half pint of beer. I call it “Pint of Beer”. I was shocked when I was fined 312 gold coins for copyright infringement.
05:02 PM The trader was impressed by my “BYOB” guild membership card. Received a Cardinal’s cape as a free gift.
Day 58 (1 month 28 days):
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