About Me
I’m Vessa, a lonely little heroine trying to make her way into the pantheons. I’m not trying to be number one, I just want to get noticed. I like attention!
My Goddess, Raindropstop, is still figuring out my purpose in this big world. In a very short amount of time, I’ve gone from being struck by lighting bolts to being carried on the wings of doves. I’m not sure what I did for Her to have such a change of heart, though I have to admit I’d muzch rather spend my gold on other things than healing.
The life of a heroine is very lonely. How can you settle down if you’re never home? I try not to get depressed about it. Raindropstop lets me find “friends” every once in a while and she invented the best thing ever… BEER! If it could be my best friend, it would be! Oh, how I love it! Sometimes Raindropstop gets mad at me for spending all of my gold on it instead of equipment. I told her, “If it’s such a problem, act like a Goddess and get rid of the monsters, so I don’t need equipment anymore!” I woke up a week later in the Beerburgh hospital.
We came to an agreement, after that event, that I shall create a temple as my punishment. Also, if I have an extreme amount of gold, I must first melt down the bulk of it into a temple brick, then buy equipment. If there’s anything left I over, I’m allowed to go to the pub.
What Raindropstop doesn’t know is, my clever little bipolar bear is an excellent pickpocket and has a secret hiding place for our “fun” mon…
one week later:
Huh, how’d I get to Tradeburg and why does my head hurt so much???
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The Highlights of My Life
Day 525: I took second place in the pantheon of Creation!!! I guess Raindropstop really does love me!
Day 529: Simba died. :( I’m still too distraught to try and resurrect him.
Day 531: Oh My Raindropstop! I’m 1st place in the pantheon of Creation!!! I think I’ll go celebrate at the pu… uh, at the library! ;)
Day 534: I got a new pet today. A sun dog! I hope we get along well together.
~ I joined the League of Adjudicators today. I hope they like cookies!
~ The cookies weren’t a hit, but was able to pass them onto another guild as a show of friendship for LoA.
Day 535: I died again today. It took nearly an hour to be resurrected! I don’t like when Raindropstop has other things to do than watch me all the time.
Day 536: My current quest is to give up drinking. Like that’ll really happen. I’m a member of LoA!
~ I’ve gotten 4 gold bricks today! I hope Raindropstop is pleased with my accomplishments!
Day 537: Three more bricks added to the temple! Man, I’m doing good!
Day 538: I’m 10% done with this blasted temple! 900 more bricks until this tortu… uh, great service (yeah, that’s it!) is completed!
Day 539: I’m 2nd place in the pantheon of Storytelling!!! You guys really like me?
~ Three hours? THREE LONG, AGONIZING HOURS??? My Lady, why did it take you three hours to resurrect me??? Are you mad? Are you upset at me? I know! You’re amused that I perished on the day of the dead, right? Right???
~ I may have died, but I’m “about 2 months” old now! Not doing too shabby, if I say so myself!
~ I’ve gotten 10 bricks in just a bit under 48 hours!!! I’m 11% done with my temple!
Day 540: Some how got stuck up a chandelier in the LosPanProVik guild hall. Had to unscrew it from the ceiling to get down, but found a trap door that leads to LoA while I was up there!
Day 542: I’m now a fangirl… I mean, follower, of LoA!
Day 550: I’m nearly level 26 and I’m over 14% done with the temple! To celebrate I 19:56: Tattooed ‘Eek! A monster! run’ on my butt cheek. Nice.
Day 560: My temple is 17% done. In celebration, I tried to join a new guild. I don’t think My Lady liked that idea. After I recooperated from the lightning bolt that struck me, I found the quest had been canceled. Great One, can you aim somewhere else next time? It really hurts to sit down!
Day 561: Darn you, Godville Administrator! He only made it 2 levels higher than Simba. :( 15:40: The Godville Administrator raised its hand for a deadly final strike against me, when Rex suddenly threw himself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. Rex quietly heaved his last breath under the weight of the monster’s carcass. Oh, my Lady, why? He was so young…
Day 562: I was #47 in the pantheon of greed for about 5 minutes! I had 8520gp in my coin purse. I’m still so sad about Rex dying, so I bought a gold brick and a… OUCH!!! Uhm… what was I saying?
Day 563: I remembered what I was saying, finally. That lighting bolt rather hurt. I wonder if My Lady wants me to try to help Rex, so I Scraped together 4471 gold coins and managed to persuade the priests to revive my pet. Oh, Rex, I missed you so much! Oh, I’m mysteriously healed now, too! Thanks, Great One!
Day 564: Score!!! 12:26: Suddenly felt like I had to find a use for the mystery box. Shook it as hard as I could and out came two shiny new golden bricks!
~ Oh my Goddess… Double Score!!! 12:30: Found 597 coins in a pot near the construction site. Wow, my temple already has some followers! I guess those new bricks made a difference!
Day 569: I’m now a Cheif Master of LoA!!! I can’t believe how far I’ve come so far.
~ Holding steady at #15 in the pantheon of Storytelling! Apparently you all think my life is amusing. Reading back, guess I am pretty darn funny!
~ This darn temple is going to be the death of me. I work my butt off fighting all of these monsters and my reward is more work? Hopefully I’ll get a vacation once the last 80% is done!
Day 570: I went to the local herbalist and asked him for a good cure for a hangover. He advised me not to drink heavily the night before. Define “heavily” please?
Day 571: Just heard a strange rustling coming from my knapsack and couldn’t find two bold trophies, but found two golden bricks instead. SCORE!
~ I was rewarded with a center of gravity and a box of candies for active promotion of my guild with some cheap street magic. I knew those months in clown college would pay off one day!
~ I stopped by a shop and the trader suddenly congratulated me for being the first anniversary customer! He awarded me with a pocket full of rye. The strange thing is, this shop only opened up yesterday!
~ Plus, with a little help from a mysterious force, I created a golden brick in my purse. I’ve had a good day!!!
Day 572: {sob} What a nice day to die. I asked the Knightmare to tell the Great One that I love her. I hope he did.
~ I feel so horrible, My Lady! I stepped on an ant and killed it. I cried for the next hour. Is he happy there with you?
~ I defeated an enemy and decided to sell my trophy. The trader was so surprised to see my lock of Errelno’s hair, he immediately gave me 9462 coins for the worthless thing. Three bricks, coming right up! Cha-Ching!
Day 641: Yeah, Ive been a bad girl. An epic failure. It’s been 69 days since I’ve taken time out of my busy heroine schedule to log my journey. Want to know what’s happened? A LOT!
~ I’m a Grand Master in LoA and should be getting my Cardinal robes in less than a month! When I have time, I try to drop in on my friends at LosPanProVik, Guild Name, and MILLIWAYS. Sometimes my friends find me! One friend, from Gnomeland Security, drops in to check my temple progress. I’ve learned to search him though, as he tries to take my bricks for his temple “as evidence.” All and all, my social life is pretty… social!
~ My sun dog, Rex, died for good a bit over a month ago. I’ve got a bipolar bear now who totally kicks butt. His name is Rex (yeah, I’m creative!) and he breathes fire, which is way too cool! Just… don’t stand too close to him when he does it, unless you’re trying to roast marshmallows.
~ Raindropstop is so happy with my progress on her temple. I’ve collected 613 bricks so far! It’s honestly pretty easy to do when you earn gold like mad around here. For example, I was in Tradeburg earlier and sold an Invite to Godville. Nothing new about that and I expected my usual haul of around 2000 gold coins for it. Well, not today! The trader was so surprised to see my invite to Godville, he immediately shelled out 4259 gold coins for the worthless thing. See what I mean? Everyone thinks I’m Irish, but I’m not short or green!
Day 642: Today has been all about bricks! I tried to use a brick to break a box with a question mark. Apparently my craftsmanship is a bit shoddy, because the brick broke. I quickly replaced it with another brick I found in my spare box with a question mark. (Yeah, I had two!) I later tried to dismantle an alchemical transmutter. It blew up. I lost my eyebrows, but melted my loot into 4 bricks. I’m still not sure how they turned gold colored though. I think I might leave those to the professionals from now on.
Day 660: I learned how to bend a spoon a couple of days ago! My trainer has spent a lot of time helping me upgrade my supernatural ability. Unfortunately great tutelage doesn’t come cheap and Raindropstop isn’t very happy because of it. She keeps asking me, “How, on my green earth, is bending a spoon useful in combat?” {sigh} Can’t a girl get a little credit for a unique ability? Not every hero can bend a spoon!
Day 663: Raindropstop keeps setting up these “play dates” for me. At first I thought it was a great idea, because I don’t get much time off of being a heroine to spend time with my friends. My first “play date” (or, as I soon learned to call them, “make Vessa cry” date) didn’t go so well. Neither did my second, third, fourth, or fifth! For some reason, my friends call me dirty names and start fights! So today, when Raindropstop told me I was meeting with another friend, I was ready! I told this so called friend that her god came from Bumchester and her Dandy Lion looked like the Cowardly Lion. Ha! I was victorious! Except, I still cried. I don’t like being mean to my friends!
Day 669: I’ve finally made it through the initiation process to become a full member of LoA!!! In the long run, I guess it wasn’t so bad. Having to wash GG’s laundry was the worst part… and there was a LOT of laundry. I can’t wait to start bossing the new peons around! So, I’ve decided that I am no longer going to be tempted to leave. This decision has made Raindropstop very happy. She even gave me pretty red robes! Today has been a very good day for me. Oh, and I placed the 800th brick into My Lady’s temple, but that’s not that important. My new robes are AWESOME!!!!
Day 673: I’m going to kill him!!! I leave Jelcin alone for two days, so I can feed a gremlin after midnight, and he’s run off to resurrect that darn Dryer Gnome! Ugh! Time to rally the troops and go on an idiot hunt!
Day 674: Well, we found him. He was surrounded by monsters, backed up against the edge of a cliff. After fighting for what seemed like hours, we finally cleared a path so I could see if he was okay. As I walked towards him, I saw her! “Vanessa?” Thank heavens he’s fine… but there she was, working her poor me, I’m in trouble, feel sorry for me routine! It was nice seeing her all tied up. So, after a kick to the head, dear Vanessa was unconscious. Jelcin was confused, but I tried to play it off like she was a monster, too. He didn’t buy it. I just smiled and said,”Oops.” I swear to Raindropstop that if that hussy tries anything with him she’ll pay for it!!!
Day 675: After the commotion of the battle settled down, I found Jelcin next to a corpse lying on the ground. He was crying (Jelcin, not the corpse!) and mumbling to himself. As I got closer, I noticed that it was Boo, Jelcin’s pet, laying there. Oh no… no, no, no! Not now! Not after I just rescued him! Her being around always brings trouble for me! I tried to say something, but couldn’t. The only thing I could think of was to put my hand on his shoulder. It felt wrong to be excited being this close to him. All I could do was whisper to him, “It’ll be okay.” Uhm, wait a second… what the heck is wrong with me?
Can things get any worse??? “I can’t believe she’s back,” I mumbled to myself.
It’s been 5 years since they saw each other. Vessa swore it would be the last time she’d cross paths with her so-called sister. Twins? Ha! Vessa had become the better person, the peace bringer. Her sister, Vanessa… true evil.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I told her. “Don’t even think about him! You’ve taken enough from me.” Just then, Jelcin came over, right as I kicked Vanessa one more time. He caught her as she fell. The look in his eyes was too much to bear. Of course he likes her. She’s beautiful, strong, outgoing. I don’t have a chance. I wanted to cry, run away… I don’t know why I feel this way, but she’s going to pay for coming back!