My God is dead…how unfortunate! Now, what who am I supposed to pray to? No one else for the taking? Well, I guess Pistoleakoll will have to suffice…He is such a nutcase though…no choice? Ok then. I can feel new fancy adventures coming!
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Ouch! Another one Dark one? What did I do this time? Oh, sorry…forgot about that. It will happen again I am sure! Ouch! All right Almighty, no joke either! It won’t happen again, promise!
My dear reader, you see, life is not a long quiet river! It is an abrupt succession of dramatic events punctuated with lightnings and fire balls coming down my way…you could say that some of them hit some of my enemy, but most don’t! Ouch! Not again! Ouch! Ok, you never miss Dark One!
God!!! Please come back! Ouch! Yes, sorry, no fake gods, right. So many of them, wonder if fake is the right…Ouch! Is the wrong word, the wrong word my Lord!
I heard Godville was a divine comedy…Who’s laughing? I can hear you! Argh, ouch! Ah, it is you my Liege. No worries, only hurts a bit. No, no, it hurts a lot! Ouch! You are very fair and loving my Lord. Ouch! Ok, not loving, and not fair!
I think he is reading my diaries…
~ 2nd day ~~
Ouch! Was this one for me? Sure…If you don’t know why, I must do…
AAAHHH! I’m dead! Lord, you killed me!!!
…
My first death? What are we talking about here?
…
That’s nonsense! …Ahem, Wait!
OUCH!
Back to life!!! I am immort..Ouch! Ok Dark One! You win this one…again!
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IToday is the 7th day of my life and i met a cheerful bunch at the tavern. After a few drinks, they told me they were part of the Skeatseria Lodge, a guild of beer drinkers like me! I joined on the spot!
And no air strike since, so I guess my Lord agrees…but i won’t ask because his ‘yes’ and ‘no’ are terribly painful to me…Plus I heard a great guy (Dan Castellaneta) say: “Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.” So I can’t go wrong!
Ouch! No, I..Ouch! Pleas..Ouch! MY LORD! I AM TRYING TO TELL Y..OUCH!
Can’t hear you…too much noise down there…
~ 8th day ~~
I was in Godville resting after my victory in th Arena, when my firy Master started to celebrate…
Incredibly, the front page of every newspaper in town turned into an advertisement for “Skeatseria Lodge”.
Every member of “Skeatseria Lodge” in town suddenly grew nearly half an inch taller. The residents of Godville are mildly bemused. Hail Beer!
Then I pretended to be Death and took 423 gold coins from the trader by promising to delay his inevitable demise. Thanks for the disguise, Cunning One!
That’s more like it!
~ 9th day ~~
I was trying to spread the word at Trollbridge’s main square, informing the people about my guild, when suddenly thunder boomed and amplified my voice a hundredfold. People here are going to remember the “Skeatseria Lodge” guild for a long time.
~ 13th day ~~
I made it Almighty! Ouch! …Sorry, YOU made it my Lord! I am pure evil! (<-mark the exclamation!). I am burning though…Did you really need to punish me 25 times today alone?!
Thanks to Tinei and his hero Xander dmornan who could withstand 34 rounds in the Arena, giving my Master time to hit 23 times…and plenty more time to encourage me, but I should have known my Lord would sacrifice my dueling ranking for that opportunity! Well done Mighty One!
Do you think you could help me with that fire? Ouch! I should know better…
~ 14th day ~~
You killed me again my Lord! Why? What is my purpose if I’m dead?!
Know death, stop fearing death, and be EVIL!
Ouch! I am alive again! Thank…no wait. Was that lightning you used to resurect me?! I should have known…
Never gets old…
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Famous deeds:
- Entered the Arena Junior Duelers Top 100 after only three days of existence (2016/01/10, 96). At this point I was also the lowest level in this ranking with a level 11. As far as I know, this a Godville record! (7/0 then)
- 58 now! (still the lowest level, 13; 12/1 now, end of my 7th day, hence the youngest too!).
- 51! (still the lowest level, 13; 13/1 now, 8th day, hence the youngest too!).
- 46! Top 50, here I come! (Still the lowest level, 13; 14/1, 10th day, youngest!)
- Entered the Destruction Top 50 pantheon after only 4 days of existence (2016/01/11; rank 46). At that moment, I was also the lowest level of all top 100 of that pantheon (12). A new shiny Godville record! One that hurt quite a bit…really no encouragement for me! (none since day 1)
Maybe my new god isn’t so bad after all. Ouch! One for the road Master? Or …just celebrating?
- Although I am not in the Destruction Top 100 anymore (How is this possible since I only receive punishments?), I am still the lowest level of the Top 150…(13). Does this mean that other heroes receive more punishments than me? Somehow, I doubt this is possible…Oh wait, I am back on the Top 100 (being 100)! That explains a lot!
Ouch! I guess my Master likes this pantheon and wishes for me to stay up there…
- Ouhh! Supreme One! I am back in the Destruction Top 50 pantheon after only 8 days of existence (2016/01/15; rank 19!). I am also the lowest level of all top 100 of that pantheon (13, and the youngest). A new mighty Godville record!
…wait for it…Oooouch! Thank you Your Darkness!! That might help getting me in the top 10…
Encouragement? What’s that? Never heard of it…
- We made it to the top! I am 5th in the pantheon of Destruction!!!(being also the lowest level of the Pure Evil!, with level 15). It is also my 13th day with my Dark Lord…how convenient!
Although nothing lasts forever, I am glad it is over! It is a constant and painful way to live! Maybe my master will have a go at the other sid…OUCH! Ok, no encouragement in sight I see…
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Less Famous deeds…
Helga the homely has finally put a stop to my wins in the Arena (8/1, 4th day). I will have my revenge! But it was a good thing after-all as it showed my Master that lightning isn’t everythi…Ouch! Ouch! Not again…Ouch! I surrender Lord of Chaos! I surrender! It was…ahem…the Great Unknown? …The..inexplicable bad luck! Ouch! Ok, easily.explicable.by.my.terrible.skills.I.will.improve.to. serve.your.Majesty.better.and.better!
… Silence is good…
Ouch! Can’t you find another way to communicate my Darkest Almighty? Ouch! Not again!
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A few things my Lord keeps telling me…
“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.” (Terry Pratchett)
“Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life. (Terry Pratchett)
I have no idea who that Terry guy is, but I wish I could teach him a few things about fire…
Ouch!
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18 days! He cracked! I have received an encouragement! And lost anyway…I have no news from my Lord since then…not that I am worrying! It is good not to be punished every time on a regular basis…Somehow, I know he reads my diary, and I am pretty sure I will regret those lines soon…
Wait for it…
…
…
Wait for it…
…
…
Dark One, are you still there? Can a god die?! Am I lost too?