Hero

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The Eraser

level 63

Your Pain Is My Pleasure!

Age 12 years 5 months
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 107 thousand
Death Count 75
Wins / Losses 44 / 23
Temple Completed at 06/20/2012
Wood for Ark 9.0%
Savings 2M, 35k (6.8%)
Pet Trojan horse Sparky

Equipment

Weapon sling of outrageous fortune +75
Shield magic mirror +71
Head helm of perpetual ineptitude +74
Body daisy chainmail +72
Arms stage hands +72
Legs Freudian slippers +70
Talisman server patch +70

Skills

  • bad breath level 38
  • steel finger level 37
  • swear-o-matic level 36
  • thumb blowing level 34
  • explosive character level 34
  • tin throat level 32
  • scissorhands level 32
  • splinter removal level 32
  • eye scream level 30
  • peace enforcement level 25

Pantheons

Gratitude3643
Templehood1191
Gladiatorship10912

Achievements

  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Renegade, 1st rank
  • Animalist, 2nd rank
  • Fiend, 2nd rank
  • Martyr, 2nd rank
  • Careerist, 3rd rank
  • Champion, 3rd rank
  • Hunter, 3rd rank
  • Shipwright, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

These will be the chronicles of the Mighty Eraser. The Beautiful Goddess Pialphamu has blessed this mortal with brains, strength, and looks…it appears he is mostly concerned with the looks at this point, as he chases more skirts than he does monsters and madmen. The Goddess hopes this changes soon, or she will have to punish the idiot to get his mind back on task. The Goddess seeks justice for her followers and this special mortal she crafted with her own two hands to bring that justice to past. She is good at praising good works and giving encouragement, but sometimes the Mistress needs to be strict and punish to get minds and knees where they should be…worshiping her and doing good deeds. The mighty “Eraser” had better step lively and erase the bad men and monsters from the earth if he wants to stay in the Goddess’s favor…she CAN always make a replacement!

Our hero has made it through day one and has managed to die only once…things are looking up. He completed his first quest. The Goddess is pleased and shall reward him if he can refrain from making a fool of himself tonight!

This “hero” seems to run from fights much too much to please the Goddess. Punishment will ensue inorder to strengthen him. He will grow hard and bitter, but it is for his own good. A tree that is never tested by the wind will break during the first major storm it encounters.

The Mighty Eraser has won his first duel in the arena of Godville. The Goddess was very kind, and blessed him much during and after the fight. He learned not to mouth off to the Goddess, we hope, since he saw the flaming arrow shoot from the sky right after his comment about her imprecise healing that touched his opponent and helped her out. The Goddess is always there, she just helps how, and when she feels it is right. It is not her fault that humans interfere.

I met someone more stupid than I am today. I did not know that was possible. His name is Prince Tard. The prince part I doubt, the tard part I get.

Got my butt handed to me by a woman today. Should I be turned on like this? Her name is Toria Sekret, I hope I meet her again, out of the ring…maybe this time we can wrestle! ;) I love a strong woman, that is why I chose you my Goddess.

How can one man be hit with lightening this many times? All I did was make another simple comment about your use of ways of encouragement. Sometimes they are so corny or unmanly it makes me embarassed. I have to make sure none of my friends are around, they might think I play for the other team or something! Geeze, I DO want to get laid ONE of these days!! OUCH!!! There it is AGAIN!!!

Wow, the Goddess has blessed me yet again! I have regained yet another long lost tooth, if this keeps up I shall have a full set in no time! Bless you, you beautiful, gracious creature! Maybe now the ladies will look my way…OUCH!! WHAT?!?

Wow, today I saw yet another amazing powerful woman. She is a tiny little thing. I am told that she is called Ember Of Dreams. I dare not approach her, if she does not kill me the Goddess will. OUCH!!! WHAT?!? I said nothing about how jealous and unfair you are, or about how you won’t let me near ANY other woman EVER!! OUCH!! Never mind…..

I just saw the strangest thing, a naked man running through the forest with nothing on except a hair curler! I asked him what he was doing and he seemed to have no clue. He said his name was St. Christopher. It was just too awkward to talk to a naked man, good thing he ran off!

I had an unholy dream about my Goddess last night, I am still here so I guess she doesn’t know. It was the best dream I have had in all of my nights here in this life. It seemed so real I did not want to wake.

Erased a couple of obscene entries from my diary just in case the Omnipotent One was watching.

Severed a piece of the monster to check out what was inside it. Unfortunately, there was no candy.

Today the Devil’s Advocate challenged meet to a dance off, while pondering whether or not I should, I suddenly saw falling letters, thousands of them! Some were combined into phrases that looked like ‘Shake your booty.’... It was awesome! Then I realized I really shouldn’t eat those odd cookies anymore.

I seem to spend a lot of time flirting with anyone foolish enough to accidentally make eye contact with me…

Broke the ice between me and my new friend, Diromarius. Fell into the freezing waters below. N-n-n-ice…

After writing this in my diary, I figured why not share a glimps of my wonderful friends with those that are to come…. 00:05: St Christopher 1990 ran out of the bushes shouting “The Eraser, I’m coming!”, tripped over a tree root, and fell on the ground, knocking himself out cold. Well, you know what they say – if you want something done right, do it yourself. Gotta love your friends, they make life liveable!

There were red-inked corrections in my diary when I woke up. Was that you, my Goddess, or did I become smarter in my sleep?

Words of wisdom: Never scratch your nose while holding a weapon.

I tried to strike an epic, badass pose to instill fear in my enemy, but the Coquettish Chesthugger laughed so hard that it choked and died. Oh well, at least I found a praystation under its corpse! I am so friggin’ awesome!! Maybe my Goddess will see this and bless me with more of my teeth back so that I could FINALLY get laid! (ducks waiting for the lightening that always comes). WHEW!! She must be out goofing off again and didn’t hear that! OUCH!! OUCH!!! HOLY CRAP THAT HURT!!

I am thinking of joining a guild, but I am not sure which one would suit me. I have friends from many guilds. Some are evil ones, but there is no way my Lady will let me join one of those, she would literally kill me first. Some are just too sweet and pukey nice, I would have to kill myself! There has be one to suit me.

I erased a couple of obscene entries from my diary just in case my Lady was watching. Who knows, maybe she will star in one some day if I am ever so lucky.

I know I ask for it, I make sarcastic comments, I antagonize her…she really has the upper hand though, I mean she is a Goddess! Then I feel a thunderbolt suddenly strike the side of my head and hear a cheerful cry from the sky: ‘Headshot!’ I think I’m in love!

I walked past a window today and noticed how buff I am getting. Awesome! I guess fighting all of these monsters does a body good.

I suppose that being a member of the ‘Knights who say Ni’ guild could be quite profitable. It’s time to join those fellows. I have made it my quest to become the 615 member of th Knights Who Say Ni guild. I am hoping it will be both profitable and please my Lady. They have enough fun & make enough profit to suit me and do enough good deeds to get her off my back…I mean please her.

Today I saw lightning bolts on the horizon and a hero trying to avoid the wrath of his god. Poor guy… Our relationship, Almighty One, is much better – complete harmony and understanding.

The Goddess Pialphamu has been spending her time flirting with danger. She has fallen for a mighty God of pure evil. He has been showing her that there is fun to be had at the expense of their human puppets. She is a quick learner. She has ordered her hero to leave the Knights Who Say Ni and join the Harvest Moon guild. The Goddess’ new love assures her that this new alignment will not only be pleasureable, but profitable as well.

Today. The Eraser starts his quest to become the 637th member of the Harvest Moon Guild. Having taken his Goddess’ advice, he decided to join the mortal enemies of the Knights Who Say Ni.

Completion of the quest to join Harvest Moon guild completed, praise be to the Goddess.

I was backstabbed with a bolt of lightning today. My goddess, was it for the bad thoughts I’ve been having about you? These things seem to be happening more and more. It is not the playful shocks of the early days, these are just out of the blue and just down right mean. It is as though the Goddess has learned a new hobby. Does this have anything to do with me having joined my new guild? You commanded me to join my Lady.

I can feel a change in my character. An evil is taking hold and my Goddess seems to have turned her back on me, or more so turned her fury on me. Why has she made me suffer so? Why have I become her new lightening rod when once I was her champion? At this point I am caring less and less.

I died again today Great One, why? In days gone by you would have heald me, not let me bleed to death on the battlefield! What’s worse, you brought me back to life, and as I was praising you for the blessing of my life, you punished me for dying in the first place! I can feel the anger and hatred growing stronger in me. Please, my Goddess, tell me why am traveling down this road. What is this all about?

My Lady, I think I have found what this change is for. This guild has made me rich! Rich with gold and rich with friends. I should never have doubted you my Lady. I am sorry.

I am learning the ways of my new guild. I am learning to kill with such skill as I had never thought possible. I am learning the power of gold and what it can get you in life. I am learning the power of friendship, even evil men and women have ties that bind them together. I am learning that I like being evil, I get what I want! If it is not given freely, I take it!