03:11 PM Convinced the Godville Administrator to read my chronicles in the hope it’d be impressed and we could be friends. It sent them back with heaps of grammar corrections and a scathing review. This outrage must be washed in blood. To arms!
Ego Restoration Coupon
Present this coupon at any town healer
to redeem a one-time treatment for
ego damaged by YoRHa No-2 Type B
If Dungeon flavour texts were written by this goddess…
Disclaimer: No animals, heroes or bosses were intentionally harmed in the making of these adventures... most of the time. Nyx of Darkness and YoRHa No-2 Type B are not liable for any injured ego from reading below excerpts. You may make use of above coupon in the event of any injuries caused.
The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. Silver Syncamore gets her daily lunch money, a log for the ark, and toys. YoRHa No-2 Type B gets payment for ahem services, a log for the ark, and stuff to play with. Snotolf gets a bag of gold coins, a log for the ark, and a pile of artifacts. Xycs and Susie Evans left unconscious because they’re in the wrong guild and get a little gold to buy Miffy band-aids. After depositing all their gold into a savings box next to the exit, the heroes ascend to the surface.
The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. YoRHa No-2 Type B could have gotten a little more gold coins, but gets a log for the ark, a voucher to redeem a mail-order hasubando, and some bold items. Pill Popping Patty gets royalties for all the dirty VCs, a log for the ark, and a box of syringes, which is offensive to God of Pills. Heybaybay gets his daily salary, a log for the ark, a cryogenically preserved phenix, and dangerous looking stuffs. A Blue Feather useless villager gets more gold coins then he deserves, and some stuffs he totally do not deserve. Alipu left unconscious and sent back to the asylum. Those who missed the plunder are given a Harvest Moon ball gag a consolation prize. After depositing all their gold into a savings box next to the exit, the heroes ascend to the surface.
The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. Pill Popping Patty gets 55 more coins than YoRHa No-2 Type B and some items he doesn’t care for. YoRHa No-2 Type B gets the least coins as usual, a log for the ark, and some activable items but doesn’t have GP to use them all. Sayalora puts some spare change, a log for the ark, and some items to throw at her guildmates with in her pockets. Spank monkey gets stuffs that nobody cares. Hamalainen left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given some coins out of sympathy for being fried at the last step.
The trainers plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. Ursinald puts some honeycombs, a log for the ark, a bowl of porridge, a broken chair and an urn of phenix ashes in his pockets. Snotolf puts a bag of fish food, a log for the ark, a Pokéball and some trash in his pockets. YoRHa No-2 Type B steals some gold from A Shiny Magikarp so she wouldn’t be the one with the least gold, and puts a log for the ark and a couple of cool stuffs in her pockets. A Shiny Magikarp gets leftovers and splashes in anger, dealing no damage to the party. Runnerx7 ran out of Pokémons and fainted. Those who missed the plunder are given an encouraging pat on the back as the trainers leave the dungeon.
The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. YoRHa No-2 Type B finds extra coins from the dungeon because of her awesome horoscope, a log for the ark, and several bold items. Snotolf receives a few coins for being an Uber dungeon driver and puts crumpled tissues and some used charges wrappers in his pockets. Anameleth gets some money to tide through his Goddess’s self-declared independency, a log for the ark and some daily necessities in his pockets. Nu Bear Ursinald puts a pot of honey, a log for the ark, some arenalin that he doesn’t have GP for (thank god) and a glittery pink tutu in his pockets. Birgitte should have remained afk to seek for her dreams.
The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. YoRHa No-2 Type B gets a halo for not killing the almost dead heroes, a log for the ark, another log for the ark and a pair of strap-on blue feather wings. Minlic and his semi-afk friends put the usual dungeon stuffs and YoRHa No-2 Type B’s leftover potato chips in their pockets.
The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. YoRHa No-2 Type B puts retirement savings, a log for the ark and Pill Popping Patty’s remaining aphrodisiac potions in her … she doesn’t have any pockets. Where does she stash her loot? A Shiny Magikarp reeks of fish so everyone averts their eyes. Pill Popping Patty gets beer money, a log for the ark and tired hands from massaging YoRHa No-2 Type B ’s bottom. Erlemar almost missed out the loot but managed to get decent amount of coins, a log for the ark and Pill Popping Patty’s new suppository samples. Tahlir left the way non-HM players are supposed to leave the dungeon: as fish food. The heroes are hypnotised into visiting a savings advisor, who they beat up after they find out what his provision fee is.
by Nyx & Bibinoth
The Harvest Moon heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. Erlemar gets lots of coins, a log for the ark, a dimensional destabilizer, another dimensional destabilizer that probably belongs to Noir Hunter and many more items. YoRHa No-2 Type B gets Farkwar junior’s gold coins, a log for the ark, a circular void generator, another circular void generator, an ego alternator and a twisted tongue trying to read all those. Noir Hunter and Farkwar junior left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder will be shamed back in the guild hall. As promised, YoRHa No-2 Type B carries Farkwar junior out bridal-style while Noir Hunter is unceremoniously dragged by his ankle by Erlemar.
The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. YoRHa No-2 Type B puts more than enough gold coins to rez her pet, a log for the ark, and many treasures in her pockets. Ursinald puts lots of coins, a log to beat his next opponent in the arena later with and some unidentified food in his pockets. Pieme, Dronishe and Alpha Sputnik left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder will wake up to missing body parts later. After being forced to deposit all their gold into a savings box next to the exit, Ursinald ascends to the surface munching on Pieme’s finger happily while YoRHa No-2 Type B cries at failing to rez her pet.
The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. YoRHa No-2 Type B gets enough coins to bribe a priest to revive her pet, a log for the ark and stuffs for bingo. A feather Minlic gets some coins and a log out of gratitude for filling up the empty seat. X-01 Exoskeleton puts some coins, a log for the ark and YoRHa No-2 Type B’s fake phone number in his pockets. Hero Rian and Jace The Mental managed to get some stuffs and leave the dungeon alive only because YoRHa No-2 Type B was too busy looking for the treasure trove to rez her pet.
The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. Ayulin crawls her way nonchalantly to the treasure room, leaving a trail of black ink, almost kills her HM ally and gets 12732 gold coins, a log for the ark and bandages to patch her eight injured legs with. YoRHa No-2 Type B survives the onslaught of traps (because she used gameshark) and gets 12868 gold coins, a log for the ark and a box of activable items and leaves none for Eidotter. Eidotter prayed hard but gets mediocre stuffs. Maybe he should change his god. Hammurabi2015 and Lorkael left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are taken back to Ayulin’s lair for her personal entertainment.
The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. Minlic gets chocolate gold coins, a log for the ark and stomachache from eating YoRHa No-2 Type B’s kitten sammich. YoRHa No-2 Type B puts driver’s fee, a log for the ark and a donut halo as souvenir in her pockets. An afk feather gets some stuffs to compensate for his missing halo. Silver Syncamore gets her daily allowance, a log for the ark and multiple trap wounds. I Am Found gets the leftovers because he’s in the wrong moon guild.
The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. YoRHa No-2 Type B gets uber driver fee, a log for the ark, 10 ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ ratings, 3 Blue Feather Special Donuts and The Driver of the Day award for driving a team of featherinos and ex-featherino to the treasury alive. The heroes ascend to the surface happily munching on donuts, leaving a lonely TB waiting in his corner.
A half asleep YoRHa No-2 Type B rams the dungeon car into the treasure room on the 26th step, narrowly missing The Department of Tour Optimization representative and picks up a whooping 16060 gold coins, a log for the ark and some souvenirs for her awesome driving. Texture gets 16574 coins, a log for the ark and some pizza for Sensually. Minlic gets 16557 gold coins, a log for the ark and some cheap dungeon stuffs. Toilet Duck gets 16539 coins, a log for the ark and a developmental tissue to clean his lavatory with. Bodzo gets 165–what did he get again?
The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. YoRHa No-2 Type B gets Uber driver’s fee, a log for the ark and an @ item that Ulti wanted. Pill Popping Patty experiences villager life all over again and gets 15540 coins and a log for the ark for his troubles. A nervous Treepa is made to sit through the ride thinking YoRHa No-2 Type B is a noob and gets 15513 coins, a log for the ark and a handful of Benzodiazepines pills. Ulti gets 15187 coins, a log for the ark and items for bingo. Brufolo is popped by Shyborg and left unconscious in a pool of pus. Those who missed the plunder are given antibacterial solution and salicylic acid to clean up.
After a scenic drive by YoRHa No-2 Type B (we all know her true motive is to push everyone into traps) and being sucked into three quagmires, the heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. Smelly Poopy Face, Pill Popping Patty’s successor to the title of Useless Villager, gets some gold coins for hospital bills, a log for the ark and severe internal wounds from being pushed into spear traps twice. Silver Syncamore gets her daily allowance, a log for the ark and a pre-loved iron maiden to use it on Pysrilexot back in the guild. Dark Abyss gets beer money, a log for the ark and the heroes’ thanks for being a benevolent god. YoRHa No-2 Type B puts uber driver fees, a log for the ark and lots of non-bingo items in her pockets. Seanshon survives the dungeon and swears he will never drop with Harvest Moon in future. The heroes scramble to the surface quickly to playback the scenes of Smelly Poopy Face’s torture.
The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. YoRHa No-2 Type B puts 18032 gold coins, a log for the ark, a must-have gadget aka iPhone X, a golden ticket to Brihtnoth Suet Cake factory and a crescent moon rock to display in her pirate ship in her pockets. Soxa puts 18112 gold coins, a log for the ark, a history eraser(which she didn’t need because the dungeon was a success), an absolute vacuum cleaner to clean the guild in her pockets (that’s some big pockets). Theder and Rinae get stuffs as irrelevant as themselves. Romek left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given moon printed band-aids courtesy of Harvest Moon’s femme fatales as a consolation prize.
Stuffs by amazing people I’ve met here
👑 A pineapple pizza shaped crown to not catch the Pysrilexotiosis!
While form and figure please the eye,
A deeper urge, I can’t defy.
Although your face I much admire
Your flame is what I most desire.
In life, in death, in all that’s true
My heart, dear Nyx, belongs to you.
Although to harems I am called
Steadfast I am, by you, enthralled.
In grassy hills and golden valleys
Shall we, in passing, come to dally
For what, my love, my fairest wooed,
Could top an ursine, bare and nude?
Nyx of Darkness came to HM riding on the back of one filthy dog known as DiamondHard (like a burr, you dirty duck), and once unsnagged from his dusty furs, was immediately but briefly snatched by Pys and added onto his wall of harem girls. She’s been unsuccessfully trying to free herself since, but good thing no one even remembers this any more so I suppose that counts as success. Her true goal, however, had always been to ride and conqure HM’s most famed d’s with her unparalleled unparalleledness (as detailed by her chronicles), but really this mostly means jostling for attention with Dark Tidings over his royal hotness Kroh and sometimes Bibinoth, and sometimes others too. DH chimes in with his testimony that Nyx is useful to have around.
Yor something Type B or whatever was born as a coding error in a computer. Upon being installed, this female gender coding error would spam the user’s computer with pictures of circular slices of swiss cheese, all unique, never repeating a picture. No one had any clue what she really was. She wnt into another computer and spammed it; The computer’s user was shocked and he called a computer expert to fix it, but unfortunately he wasn’t able to do anything as he didn’t knew about the Type B virus. She continued to spam pictures, and sent a copy of herself into the computer geek’s tech where it waited for the ideal moment to strike, and it came: she spammed so many pictures the computer went crazy. But the geek was asleep at the time, so when he woke up he had to sift through literally thousands of cheese pictures before he could get to work. This made him late and he ended up getting fired, so he returned home and headbutted his computer… and eventually broke it. Luckily Yor something Type B or whatever was in the hard drive of the original computer so she survived, and from there, she sent herself on the Internet so that anyone could get infected.
She decided to lodge herself on a website called Godville andnd the first person to find her was a weirdo someone called Nyx, whom took and poked her to death as it was her special pre-Arena warm-up, but her actual training was much harder. Yor something Type B or whatever trained long and hard, just to get revenge on Nyx for poking her; and when her training ended, she spammed Nyx with cheese pictures, more than she ever had before. It was a sight to behold… but Nyx was immune to that as she took the cheese images and put them in an album called “Say cheese!” and saved it on her chronicles and wiki, and also shared them on GC and forums. Everyone thought Nyx was strange for this… But the guild she was in was already strange for many more reasons than one… Maybe this is why she’s been fully accepted by her guildmates… The Harvester, however, saw it as an attack to Harvest Moon and their strictly cheeseless ways, so it decided to order its minions to make an account to face off against Yor blah blah… But that account was never really created because Harvest Moon members were slackers and Yor Typo B was getting some wins in Arena so they let her be, as long as she brought heads.
Why did her name change from type to typo you ask? Well, she caught this disease called Pysrilexotiosis… And she spread it the same ways she used to spread cheese photos… the disease was 30 times as infective as the common cold and Nyx’s entire guild found itself struggling to spell, grammar and communicate in general. This disease made Yor Typo lose many battles in Arena, because relying on spellcheck when to faint instead of to feint is never a good idea and dealed her a lot of damage; the constant injuries only exacerbated the Pysrilexiosis though and Yor had to take a drastic action: she removed the virus spreading code from herself in an effort to take the disease with it and it even worked for a short period of time! Until she got infected again by Nyx. Yor Typo something ended up turning to the Harvester for advice. But unfortunately it was infected as well and this only made her eyes bleed with its capitalized and rife with typos text walls. She thought she had lost all hope… until she saw a nicely served pineapple pizza on a plate on the table, she felt sickened by it, and wanted to burn it and anything it ever touched. Even sicker than she was feeling before. The hate for pineapple pizza took over the Pysrilexotiosis. Once taken over the disease, she found herself able to eloquently describe the ways in which she would destroy the pizza and was filled with joy. But, dinner was ready, so she forgot everything in a heartbeat, freeing the way to the Pysrilexotiosis to come back. She couldn’t talk again anymore, and struggled with describing her current meal. A typo was made, and pineapples fell on her pizza, which once again nulled the effects of the Pysrilexotiosis. Yor realized something: pineapple pizza cures Pysrilexotiosis!, so she ate it, thinking it would cure her of the disease once and for all. But it turned out that the pizza was poinsoned by the Harvester. She died and her corpse was buried in the same coffin as Smelly Poopy Face. The end.
wow... you actually read till the end? Here’s a kitten sammich 🍞🐱🍞 for your effort!
Those who create their own drama, deserve their own karma😯
Hakuna Matata ~ 😘