03:34 AM Suddenly, a zombie apocalypse poster cried out, “Piddle Doltish! You came back for me!”, and leapt off the shelves into my arms. I’m sure there’s a simple explanation, but I don’t know what it is. ( okay but legit all i did was praise them at the shop!😂 and i just 🤣 like what even!🤣🤣)
12:07 AM Launched into an elaborate interpretive dance to illustrate the pain and sacrifices I endured to acquire my collide-o-scope. The emotional intensity of my performance awed the trader so much that he handed me 271 gold coins before I even completed the prologue.
???
03:19 AM Paid a stranger 42 coins to dispel my aura of gullibility.
19th milestone
10:14 AM Found an electronic diary on the ground. Left it there because why anyone would ever need more than ten entries is beyond me.
25th milestone
10:20 AM Who wants a hug? Somebody? Anybody? Nobody? Guess I’ll just hug myself then.
30th milestone
Trying to befriend the Genghis Leprechaun by offering it a drink…
50th milestone
12:30 PM Heard someone yelling, ‘Oh God!’ over and over from behind a bush. I wish I were that devout, Luminous One.
74th milestone
01:52 PM Was abducted by aliens looking for intelligent life forms. They promptly sent me back.