Incredible Sulk

level 43

Fine! Be that way!

Age 7 months 1 day
Personality righteous
Guild Knights who say Ni
Monsters Killed about 32 thousand
Death Count 21
Wins / Losses 237 / 227
Temple Completed at 01/12/2018
Wood for Ark 13.0%
Savings 632 thousand (2.1%)
Pet Stripeless zebra Cupil 13th level


Weapon vorpal sword +52
Shield web of lies +51
Head executioner's hood +51
Body ninja turtle shell +51
Arms thrown down gauntlets +51
Legs all-terrain slippers +51
Talisman Talisman of Complete Uselessness +49


  • flying bird level 24
  • eye scream level 24
  • navel clamp level 23
  • asynchronous swimming level 20
  • sober view level 18
  • lucky hoof level 18
  • effect of the groundhog level 13
  • quantum leap level 13
  • cash whistle level 8
  • auto-stopping level 1




  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Champion, 2nd rank
  • Hunter, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Animalist, 3rd rank
  • Careerist, 3rd rank
  • Martyr, 3rd rank
  • Raider, 3rd rank
  • Shipwright, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

Dit is eensaag sonder haar, en ek is ’n kompleet gemors.
Waar sy is, daar is paradys. Sy is ’n engel van hemel.
Sy is die mooiste juweel.
Sy is ’n godin.
In my oë, sy is perfeksie.

An itemized rundown of Incredible Sulk’s most recent infuriating misadventure:

1 – Although ZPG time approaches, he’s close to having enough gold for a brick, nearly maxed out on inventory, and just past Tradeburg. I elect not to send him to fight.

2 – Rather than simply head back to Tradeburg and sell at a massive profit, he wastes nearly an hour marching all the way to Godville. The long walk means he’ll miss the next ZPG time as well. For the next week, I’ll turn all his beer into scorpions whenever he begins to drink.

3 – After his interminably long stroll, he reaches Godville and sells off his inventory. Multiple encourages fail to produce a gold-for-brick trade. I am now out of godpower and can’t send him to the arena as punishment. I don’t even have enough to tell him what a jerk he is. When he lays down to sleep tonight, I’ll replace his underpants with bees.

4 – He buys a brick, probably to taunt me. I’ll have to do some research to find out which kind of underpants-bees carry the most painful sting.

I’m not even mad at him. Since I’m positively-aligned, I don’t punish him. I might, however, electrocute his parents for raising him this way.