Hero

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Jacob Jons

level 61

Ad Victoriam!

Age 9 years 4 months
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 112 thousand
Death Count 83
Wins / Losses 8 / 8
Temple Completed at 03/21/2016
Wood for Ark 44.8%
Savings 1M, 611k (5.4%)
Pet Solar bear Sneezy 30th level

Equipment

Weapon grater of two evils +69
Shield ultimate defense mechanism +72
Head Guy Fawkes mask +71
Body central parka +70
Arms big bangles +70
Legs knickerbockers of glory +70
Talisman server patch +71

Skills

  • oak cloaking level 38
  • navel clamp level 30
  • fanned fingers level 30
  • explosive character level 30
  • cry of horror level 28
  • mega-bite level 28
  • slap of the whale level 27
  • intimate tickling level 26
  • glance of Kaa level 25
  • deafening snore level 23

Pantheons

Gratitude2735
Templehood15206
Storytelling375

Achievements

  • Honored Renegade
  • Animalist, 1st rank
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Martyr, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Shipwright, 2nd rank
  • Careerist, 3rd rank
  • Champion, 3rd rank
  • Hunter, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

THE ADVENTURE OF JACOB JONS

So, what are you doing here? Have you lost your way, or maybe you want to read this old chronicle for real? If that is the case, imagine the most sincere smile from me. Here, you will find how the legendary but unknown hero Jacob Jons took his step in life, from his childhood, the first encounter of his own god, to the end of Jacob Jons’ life. Prepare your soul for the most epic, heart-breaking chronicle of all Godville!

CHAPTER 1: In Which Jacob Jons Lived Happily Ever After

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HALL OF QUOTES

The hero and the Inceptionist are glaring at each other menacingly, trying to remember whose turn it is…

Nominating his ballpoint penguin as his designated driver…

01:18 Talked with Sewer Rat from 50 milestones away using smoke signals. I love this instant messaging thing.

03:58: I heard a powerful voice boom, ‘Dance!’ and saw a poor hero skittering away from the lightning bolts at his feet. I wonder what he did.

07:10: A sign in that roadside tavern read: “Gentlemen: No shoes, no shirt, no service! Ladies: No shoes, no shirt, no problem!”

06:11 Suffered from a series of unfortunate events.

You noticed that the next pages were all torn off. It’s a shame, really. Maybe reading this chronicle in the future could get a different result. Good bye, for now!

Leaving without a purchase… 04:44 Left without a purchase because I’m starting to suspect that the quality of my gear has absolutely no impact on my success as a hero.