Hero

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Memma

level 32

WHO am I? Please help!!!!

Age 9 years 4 months
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 20 thousand
Death Count 25
Wins / Losses 31 / 14
Bricks for Temple 27.9%
Pet Firefox Koda 14th level

Equipment

Weapon ultimate weapon +41
Shield firewall +30
Head siege helmet +34
Body steam-powered exoskeleton +35
Arms pipboy 3000 +29
Legs Yeti slippers +35
Talisman fuzzy dice +38

Skills

  • heel grip level 21
  • street magic level 17
  • swear-o-matic level 11
  • forced generosity level 8
  • quantum leap level 8
  • death by snu-snu level 6

Pantheons

Hero has yet to take places in pantheons.

Achievements

  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Renegade, 2nd rank
  • Animalist, 3rd rank
  • Builder, 3rd rank
  • Champion, 3rd rank
  • Hunter, 3rd rank
  • Martyr, 3rd rank
  • Saint, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

i really don’t understand a thing. just keep on living anyway.

whaaaa’? i just proved that first sentence to be true! what i wrote here the last time is gone. Whoooww!

Because I am a successful and widely admired hero of Godville I will share my most precius memoares with you, my godesses subjects to be! Listen carefully and learn:

08:12: Sacrificed the corpse of the defeated Vorpal Wabbit in my Lady’s honor. I hope you like your meat well done, Luminous One.

05:34: Stood in line at the doctor’s office. Got tired of waiting and shouted ‘My dust bunny hasn’t eaten for 3 days and is very hungry!’ The doctor sensed the emergency and had me treated in no time.

10:25: Bought a shield of utter stupidity from the trader with a good discount for a song and a dance. Either he really likes show tunes or I need to change occupations!

02:13: Each. Minute. Crawls. By. Slower. Than. The. Snail. That. I’ve. Been. Watching. For. The. Last. Two. Hours.

02:29: The doctor insisted that I’d be better at fighting monsters if I wasn’t drunk all the time. Like any sober person would wander around the wilderness fighting monsters all the time.

06:48: Lit a candle for the peace of slaughtered monsters’ souls.

11:13: Nipper used his ‘puppy eyes’ skill against the Corporate Giant. The Corporate Giant turned mushy, gave me a white hole as a toy for him, and 181 coins to buy some better dust bunny food.

05:18: With artful innocence, Nipper offered his toy to the Selfish Shellfish, giving me the chance to use my “street magic” skill.

08:28: Was pursued by a Like-a-Boss Monster yelping frantic mating calls. Can’t believe all the stuff that seems to only happen to me…

08:35: Exalted One, I asked for help finding a date… Why do you keep sending me all these ugly monsters?

09/01/15 12:03 AM: The Tentacula raised its hand for a deadly final strike against me, when Nipper suddenly threw himself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. Nipper was knocked out by the impact of the monster’s carcass. Oh, my Lady, if I don’t bring him back to his senses in time, he’ll lose all his levels and his will to compete! 11:54: Scraped together 2732 coins and managed to persuade the priests to heal my pet. Oh, Nipper, I’m glad to see you in great shape again!

06:06: Well, you know what they say, my Goddess? If at first you don’t succeed, give up, go to the tavern, and drink beer. Quest: Become the 79th member of the guild “Huge Success” (cancelled)

10:08: Erias Tiber (Loras Mastae) just passed me the forecast for The Beer Bay: sunny, with scattered monsters and a chance of lightning.

12:10: Looted the lair of the slain Parrot Trooper. Found an old group photo. Darn, we went to school together!

05:03: Saw a sign written in Cyrillic text. A translation underneath read, “In Russian Godville, a temple builds you!”

07:08: Took time out from my busy schedule of death and destruction for a spot of knitting.

09:50: Received a medal for setting a new course record in the “The Lake of Maiden’s Tears” 5K. I wonder if I should mention I was actually running away from that Desert Eagle.

07:09: Found 237 gold coins in a pot near the construction site. Wow, my temple already has some followers!

07:28: Buying equipment was getting too mainstream, hence I decided to buy some raw materials for 2374 coins and made my own cowboy’s lariat in a nearby furnace.

10:57: Paid 1650 gold coins to the shopkeeper to repair a broken gold brick I found on the side of the road. Now I can add it to my temple!

11:10: Spent 232 gold coins to have my gold bricks gold-plated.

06:35: Had a moment of silence to honor the remains of a less-than-fortunate hero.

08:24: Gobbster (Gibbster) just passed me the forecast for The Battle Hamster Farm: sunny, with scattered monsters and a chance of lightning.

08:56: This Huggernaut is such a nuisance! He’s following me everywhere and asking for my autograph. It seems that a good beating is the only way to stop him from stalking me.

12:06: Paid 997 coins to give my little animal a bath before starting a tough campaign. Nipper’s coat now shines luxuriously and he is happily hiccuping soap bubbles.

05:32: During our last rest stop, Nipper performed some gothic dances in honor of the god of monsters. Please forgive him, Mighty One.

05:35: While taking a swim in the lake I suddenly bumped into a half-submerged Beelzebieber. The next few minutes were awkward as we both tried to get out of the water, retrieve our pants and weapons, and pretend it never happened.

07:22: I just woke up in the middle of the street with some little kid poking me with a stick. He said I was snoring…

05:50: Monk Man (Dataraven) just passed me the forecast for Pathway of Lemmings: sunny, with scattered monsters and a chance of lightning.?

09:03: This looks like a job for Marshall-McAboy (Komakazi)! Retreat!?

08:42: Filed down the Oxy-Moron’s claws so that it wouldn’t be so intimidating. It gave me 11 coins for a manicure.?

01:08: Joruun (Jorundikai) just passed me the forecast for The Field of Special Magic: sunny, with scattered monsters and a chance of lightning.? i wonder if i ever will see Joruun again? 10:30: In a flash, in place of the token of friendship, RavenxY appeared in my artifact sack, screaming wildly. It appears I’ve made a new friend.?

05:52: My pet is full of surprises. It looks like Nipper has tamed a flea! Now he’s trying to punish it.

03:57: Decided to take a short rest in a nearby cave. Scratched on the wall was, ‘Wilhelmina TCG was here’. Made my own mark beneath it.

04:06: Hmm, Nipper the dust bunny… Doesn’t sound right. Maybe I should have called him Knightlion? (Blaknigh)

10:39: Unsure of my next step, I looked to Nipper for inspiration. Resolved to grow a glossy coat and lick myself clean.

06:27: Found a field full of ripe sunflowers. Hours passed completely unnoticed.

02:08: Aw, Luminous One, this Romanticore is so cute. Do I have to kill it?

02:27: Nipper stood in front of me and enthusiastically wagged his tail as I scratched his ears. It wasn’t his fault that the attacking monster got flogged in the process. That’ll teach the Ninja Tortoise about interrupting hero-dust bunny time!

06:03: Entered Deville in triumph cheered by an adoring crowd of fans. Not sure when to tell them that my name isn’t Patatina…(Patanella)

08:06: Just when I was about to give up, a huge hand grabbed me, shook me gently, tapped me several times on the chest, wounded me, compared me to Anev (Laverne Cox), adjusted me, and set me on my feet. That was my weirdest resurrection yet!

10:31: “The Diary of Memma” sounds lame. Maybe I should call it “The Epic Chronicles of Memma?”

03:18: The Land Mime realized that I was a different hero from the one it had been looking for, and wandered off mumbling something about exacting revenge on F-lar (Ixel).

02:51: Suddenly a Monster Of Ceremonies holding a banner reading “Memma, I want to be your pet!” jumped into the arena.

12:08: Got Nipper to haul me around while I wore a pair of skis. Probably would have worked better if it was on snow instead of the road.

02:59: Passed Watsonator (The Mighty Megreg) on the road. He said I was going the wrong way. Like he knows where I’m going!

01:14 Passed Chosen One1 (Rashawn) on the road. He said I was going the wrong way. Like he knows where I’m going!