16:48: Dearest diary, today was the day! I carefully laid the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all windows to let your glorious light shine in. I can’t believe it, your temple is finally finished, my Lady! I feel delirious with happiness.
09:34: “The Diary of Bytchie” sounds lame. Maybe I should call it “The Epic Chronicles of Bytchie”?
08:19: The doctor told me that I drink too much. My last urine sample had an olive in it.
08:30: Just checked my daily planner: I’ve got “Do not die” written down for today. Toodles, Major Disappointment – I’ll pencil you in for next week!
08:14: Felt queasy on seeing one of my old corpses. Must be mourning sickness.
22:46: There are heroes and superheroes. And then there’s me!
08:57: Fell through a hole in the fabric of space-time. Climbed back out again. No big deal.
08:17: New teeth… That feels weird.
08:35: Ignore this entry. I’m just using it to check the time.
09:08: Just encountered a Panzer Dragon selling bootleg ’I’m the queen bytch’ T-shirts. It shall pay dearly for this trademark
12:27: The town doctor told me that I was emotionally unstable. I punched him in the face, then huddled into a ball on the ground and cried.
20:15: Saw a dragon. Tried not to look tasty.
22:28: According to the moon and stars… I’m lost.
23:28: Won 7 coins on cockroach racing.
21:32: My arm just fell off. Oh well, it’s only a flesh wound.
21:31: Realized that I left my towel at the last camp. Must. Not. PANIC!
21:38: Found somebody’s towel in the mud. Poor soul.
23:03: After defeating the Farce of Nature, I felt an urge to twirl my weapon and strike an epic pose. Strange…