18:32: Stealthily followed Sofly to see if she knew a secret shortcut, but she just seemed to walk in circles. Eventually I caught up to her and asked what she’d been doing, and she sheepishly admitted she’d been following me, looking for a secret shortcut.
21:13: Found pages from someone else’s diary flying in the wind. I’d be horribly embarrassed if someone were reading my most personal thoughts… Oh, who am I kidding? I’ll read them anyway. 14:35: I almost got killed by a shooting star. 16:37: I watched a Spaghetti Elemental brawling with a Ring Wyrm. That’s so much better than them hitting me…
20:28: Added an obscene hieroglyph to the merchant’s signboard. 15:43: If I set this cornfield on fire, will it become a big pile of popcorn? 16:01: Noticed a notice on a notice board by the road saying: ‘If you notice this notice, you’ll notice that this notice is noticeably not worth noticing’. Why did I take the time to notice that? 19:15: Found a yellow submarine at the seashore yesterday, but it was infested with beetles so I let it be. 21:22: A strange holographic woman appeared before me and implored me to poke a sleeping dragon in the eye and run away. On my honor, it will be done! 15:01: Saw a hero ignoring a ‘Keep off the grass’ sign. Heard a scream… And then the grass burped. 15:25: I told the healer that I hear voices in my head telling me to do things. For some reason he nodded knowingly and gave me some medication. 01:32: Jumped off a bridge because everyone else was doing it.’ 14:50: Stumbled upon a slain hero clutching a small parchment that read: ‘Your life insurance claim is being processed’.
20:51: Passed a tree that looked like it was made out of cotton candy. Still trying to get the splinters out of my tongue. 17:53: You can’t drink all day if you don’t start before noon. Off to the tavern! 02:28: Panicked a little when I mistook my reflection for a monster. Panicked a lot when I realized that’s what I look like now. Back to town for a mud bath and a seaweed wrap! 10:08: Smoked a peace pipe with some wandering minstrels. 21:56: The right way is left. So I left in the right direction. 10:38: A sign in that roadside tavern read: ‘Gentlemen: No shoes, no shirt, no service! Ladies: No shoes, no shirt, no problem!’