level 83

I Have A Cunning Plan!

Age 5 years 6 months
Personality neutral
Guild Royal Harem
Monsters Killed about 270 thousand
Death Count 149
Wins / Losses 15 / 11
Temple Completed at 01/02/2015
Ark Completed at 08/10/2017 (171.5%)
Twos of Every Kind 311m, 348f (31.1%)
Savings 7M, 636k (25.5%)
Pet Alpha centaur Shelby 21st level


Weapon colossal blunderbuss +92
Shield verbal reflector +93
Head mad scientist's goggles +92
Body blackhawk down jacket +92
Arms spiral galaxy arm +93
Legs bossypants +92
Talisman antimatter horn +92


  • seasickness level 82
  • strong brow level 73
  • exhaust of the dragon level 62
  • falcon punch level 56
  • deafening snore level 56
  • slap of the whale level 54
  • win on points level 50
  • spoon-bending level 46
  • glance of Kaa level 35
  • awkward silence level 29




  • Animalist, 1st rank
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Shipwright, 1st rank
  • Hunter, 2nd rank
  • Martyr, 2nd rank
  • Renegade, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Savior, 2nd rank
  • Careerist, 3rd rank
  • Champion, 3rd rank
  • Moneybag, 3rd rank
  • Raider, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

Day 1: Today I decided to pluck a mighty warrior from the vast throngs of mortals and turn them into my own personal heroine. Made a list on the back of my Holy Shopping List of what I wanted. What small sparks of talent I could use and what annoying habits I could not deal with. While bestowing my grace on the myriads of common mortal drinking establishments I look over things got a little fuzzy and I think I might have mixed up a few items on the list. Maybe more than a few. Most of them actually. But, what’s past is past, and without further ado I welcome Pindara of the Whispering Hills to my somewhat disappointed and slightly hungover embrace. Go Me.

Day 2: You know, when I ask you as your Kind and Most Gracious Deity to do something I really would appreciate a little less lip. You can be snarky with the other mortals, but if you’d like that tongue to remain where I made it to be I’d most sincerely suggest you think extremely wisely before you get your words out. Don’t think I won’t smite you.

Day 3: Well, she’s died already. I looked away for a moment to add the mini-marshmallows to the peppermint cocoa in my Sacred Chalice and there she was, a pile of inanimate mortal. Frankly, I gave her at least a month before I had to zap the miracle of life back in her. I’ll have to readjust my expectations from extremely low to the sound of My Heavenly Choir laughing heartily. Disappointing, but on the upside my choir’s so good they can even perfectly harmonize uproarious guffaws. It takes away some of the sting.