Note: italics represent “divine intervention interjection bits.” Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy!
“She might be the One.” — my mom.
I’m a heroine? And I exist to… kill things, over and over? Cool! Looks like all those hours spent playing Whac-A-Mole are going to pay off. Finally!
And so you know: this heroine is nowhere NEAR as dumb as she looks. Translation: her dumbness far exceeds any possible appearance of stupidity.
02:24 I’m feeling a little paranoid. Every time I leave town I get attacked by monsters. See how smart she is? I’m so proud!
I admit: I hear voices in my head. Usually they seem like commands, and normally I just ignore them. Now for some reason they start out with sudo … What’s up with that?
04:02 Contributed 88 coins and received an inflatable minion in exchange. An Igorina without a minion is like, non-recursive.
17:58 Walked across a pond. Wait… what just happened? You’re welcome.
509 g.e. I have a pet! Here’s hoping it won’t eat me.
540 g.e. I have a dead pet. Sadness. her pet was resurrected “in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.”
541 g.e. I have a dead self. For the ninth time. Sure hope I’m not some kind of cat…
550 g.e. Found gold in a pot near the temple construction site. Gonna buy me a new brain weapon gold pot! lightning bolt in 3… 2… 1…
551 g.e. same pet, different dead. Missing the stupid hairbag. A lot.
554 g.e. Tried to join Oy the sun dog in the hereafter. Failed.
555 g.e. “Lost the last hope of resurrecting my pet. Good bye, Oy, I’ll promise my new best friend will look just like you!” sigh
559 g.e. death by Dandy Lion. Pah! I’ve had worse, plus – no waiting at the Resurrection Cafe. My lucky day!
564 g.e. lost a skirmish by 2 HP, then broke an Alchemical Transmuter before the Great One had a chance to make another pile of deadweight precious gold bricks, and I got killed by an Optimus Slime. Best. Day. Ever! bzzZAP FOOM! GAAH that HURTS! tell me about it…
568 g.e. dying was so much fun I couldn’t wait to do it again. Whee! lost in death: alchemical transmuter and at least one bold item. Sometimes I really hate this game, you know?
583 g.e. Not dead yet! I feel happy! I feel happy! Although in a skirmish against Rap I almost lost my courage when I heard:
bq. “you wont win! give up! Rap! Attack!”
But then Marthter sent a lightning bolt straight to Rap’s ear. That’s gonna leave a mark! Rap fought well and would have won, except he didn’t and I did. The end. Of that at least.
588 g.e. Whuzzah! Won another skirmish. SOOOOO much easier when my opponent’s god is not involved. In other news, I’m way overdue for getting killed. Just saying.
591 g.e. What a busy day I had! Decided to stop dragging around Scratchy’s carcass; it was starting to smell, worse than me even. Which is pretty bad. Then I won a skirmish – go me! Then I decided to tame a dust bunny. I mean seriously, who would want one of those higher level pets anyway? Not me, that’s for sure. And just a few minutes after clipping on Nibbler’s leash I thought, you know what would be a fun way to end this fun day? Dying! So I did! My lord will be so pleased when he sees another golden brick awarded posthumously. bzzzt-ZAP!
596 g.e. Finally got my Martyr badge, courtesy of my Evil Twin. Maybe I should buy a nice award shelf next time I’m in town?
602 g.e. Feeling vengeful. Crossing murderous Solar Bears from my list of desirable future pets.
606 g.e. Seems like only a few days ago I was dead, and here I am dead again.
609 g.e. Heh heh. Funny thing happened to me on my way to the afterlife… guess who’s not in a hurry to resurrect you?
647 g.e. Hello dear Chronicles! Haven’t been here in a while, what with my busy schedule full of death, resurrection, more death, more resurrection, yet more death… it’s nice to be me again.
For now, at least.
687 g.e. Ha! I might not be lucky in love but I can mud wrestle with some of the best heroes in Godville. Made it to the Final Four in a tournament hosted by Wiki Leagues. Go me!
696 g.e. What I learned on my latest dead vacation: auras don’t die, but they do expire. Wish I could say the same!
730 g.e. Is it just me or am I dying more often? Does someone keep track of these things? Can anybody hear me? Hello? Is this thing on?
796 g.e. While I was minding my own business and enjoying life as a level 48 adventurer, I somehow managed to gather the final bricks needed to complete Marther’s temple. I hope he’s pleased!^1^
1 Translation: it’s DONE, okay?! Enough with the lightning bolts to the forehead already!
bump just to see the date change also I still have no