Godville

10:26 Switched to stealth mode. Now I don’t know where I am.
10:33 Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
10:36 Tried to follow the road to success, but it was under construction.
10:42 I’d give my left arm to be ambidextrous.
09:02 Almighty, if I was created in your image, then you must be a being of pure beauty!
04:51 Made another involuntary blood donation.
03:24 Heard someone yelling, ‘Oh God!’ over and over from behind a bush. I wish I were that devout, my Lady.
10:55 Walked on the wild side, saw things that made me blush.
02:07 Tried to kill two birds with one stone. 24 stones later, I’m still here. And starving.
08:08 Accidentally swallowed some food coloring. Although the doctor says I am okay, I still feel like I dyed a little inside.
12:10 Tried to confess my sins, but it seems I’ve lost count. Strangely proud of that.
12:12 The fish know, but keep silent…
01:00 Saw saplings march into war. Must be infant trees.
07:45 Started counting my limbs, but decided not to get too attached.
01:00 PM Ran with scissors. Nearly died.
11:20 PM Tried to swallow my pride. Choked.
08:38 PM Yelled “Geronimo!” then did nothing.
10:05 PM Turned over a new leaf. Got bitten by ants.
02:53 AM Followed my destiny. We both got hopelessly lost.
12:32 PM Lacking snow, I resorted to making rock angels. Regretted it instantly.
08:28 AM Joined a march against protesting.
04:14 AM Turned briefly to the dark side. Couldn’t see anything.
12:54 PM Passed by a talking skeleton. He was humerus.
03:55 PM Punched the air. Got winded.
06:19 AM I’ve fallen in love! Wait, not love, the other thing… mud. I’ve fallen in mud.
04:55 PM .stceffe edis yna era ereht fi erus ton ,rorrim lacigam a ekorb yltnediccA
08:20 AM Stopped and wished upon a falling star. Got hit by a meteorite.
12:04 PM Duty called. I didn’t pick up in time.
11:18 PM I am covered in chameleons and no one believes me.
03:50 AM Saw a dragon. Tried not to look tasty.
09:28 PM Attacked a straw man. Got defeated by allergies.
11:14 AM Tried living on the edge. Fell off. Ouch.
11:42 AM Hit my funny bone. Ended up crying. A lot.
03:55 AM Saw a meteor shower. Apologized to it for invading its privacy.
04:05 AM Stayed up all night trying to remember if I had amnesia or insomnia.
08:43 AM Sunshine is nice, but moonshine is so much better.
08:27 AM It hurts to say this, but I bit my tongue.
11:20 AM Note to self: D flat.
07:51 AM Saved a fish from drowning.