Let it be known that these are the chronicles of Queen la Queefa, champion and prophet of the god KidGryphon:
In the beginning (not the beginning, but a beginning) I awoke to a booming voice and a burning bush. The voice was my god, KidGryphon; the burning bush… well, being a prostitute had its downsides. KidGryphon spake unto me “Hello? Is this thing on?” I kneeled and shouted “I’m here, Soul Supreme! I hear you!” Then I heard my Lord say, “Hmm, this button?” and a bright ray of light set my hovel on fire, but it also healed me of my pubic lice. You win some, you lose some. It was on that day that the life of Queen LaQueefa, streetwalker of Godville ended, and the life of Queen la Queefa, champion of KidGryphon began.
My adventures began slowly, for I was but a poor, humble hero. My armor was little more than rubbish I’d strapped to my body, but I was able to adventure with some sense of confidence as I travelled under the more or less benevolent protection of KidGryphon. My prayers were heard, and occasionally answered, and I no longer feared death. I was young, fearless, and out to spread the word of my wondrous god. The world was my oyster; monsters to slay, loot to plunder, plunder to loot, quests to quest upon, and many a tankard of ale to drink.