Hero

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Ser Umpsalot

level 37

!!EEEAT MEEE!!!™√

Age 5 years
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 26 thousand
Death Count 8
Wins / Losses 35 / 39
Bricks for Temple 52.5%
Pet Talking donkey Simba

Equipment

Weapon osmium hammer +47
Shield farcefield +46
Head experience cap +46
Body cloak of daggers +46
Arms scorpion pincers +48
Legs boots of all evil +46
Talisman universal remote +46

Skills

  • mountain moving level 18
  • rickrolling level 14
  • eye scream level 14
  • golden vein level 14
  • thumb blowing level 14
  • unbearable boredom level 11
  • pseudopod attack level 10
  • self-cloning level 5

Pantheons

Hero has yet to take places in pantheons.

Achievements

  • Renegade, 1st rank
  • Builder, 2nd rank
  • Favorite, 2nd rank
  • Animalist, 3rd rank
  • Champion, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

the idea box sucks so dont ever take it seriously.

In HERO mottos means that person likes to do the Idea box thing

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
CLICK HERE TO SEE TRUE “Karot Dave & HERO” CHRONICLES →( Karot Dave )
Karot Dave ( Talk )
Go see “Totentanz”:, “Freya12”:, Rav the Random , CCCC4 & “Jimbob64”: chonicles. they’re pretty good ;)

FAVORITE AURA
Aura of Immortality

Birth Name
Ser Dumpsalot

NEW
Age
9 month 12 Days (282 Days)

HERO Motto
“!!EEEAT MEEE!!!™√”

Achievements
Renegade, 1st rank (0%)
Builder, 2nd rank (47%)
Favorite, 2nd rank (2%)
Animalist, 3rd rank (80%)
Champion, 3rd rank (68%)
Martyr, 3rd rank (70%)
Careerist, 3rd rank (62%)
Fiend, 2nd rank (38%)
Fiend, 3rd rank (22%)
Hunter, 3rd rank (20%)
Invincible, 2nd rank (10%)
Dueler, 3rd rank (in progress)

PURE COINCEDENCE
[@Dombinator’s motto: Harvest 🌙 will eat you
@Karot Dave’s motto: !!EEEAT MEEE!!!™√]
-Special Thanks to Me3713 for telling me this ;)

Pet

  1. Talking Donky-Simba “Cheerful”
  2. *

Guild Name
Harvest Moon

NEW
Guild Rank
Follower

NEW
Next Rank
Master (4 days)

Death Count
8

Reasons of Death
Drowning – 6
Monster – 1
Stupidity – 8

NEW
Finished Number of Quests
im now at #204 (canceled 7)

Favourite Equipment
Weapon:8-bit sword
Shield:restaning order
Head:Face Hugger
Body:Coconut bra
Arms:_
Legs:Invisible pants
Talisman:_

News paper articles
NONE

Aproved Submisions
Reviewing

Number of Submision Reviewing
7

Number of Submision in ER
0

Number of Submision Voting
0

Total Ideas
25

Number of Disliked Submisions
17

Number of Liked Submisions
0

Friends in Godville
#16
“Know-it-all”:
“Lord77”:
“Conge”:
“Bruce the god”:
Coactum
Vardaensu
Godville
Lazarus the Wretched
Rav the Random
Great Old One859
Drool a Lot
Kungfux
Refugeee
Fist of Thunder
Hairplug4men
Me3713
-Thank you all for being my friends… : )

My MOST WANTED LIST
____________________________
Bossome
Vurgol
____________________________
bq.
My WANTED List
____________________________
Lydisae
Jeugenstan
Takhisis The Cresent
Chabubaba
Vardaensu
Russianvirus
NEO-
Godonearth
____________________________
Pardend WANTED People
____________________________
Rav The Random

____________________________

Other Peoples Submisions

  1. Dong in a box its a dick in a box~ was disapproved
    -OMG I cant stop laughing
    (((o(゚▽゚)o)))
    (They used to do that in Japan, if your husband died, you would get a box with his thing in it and most wives decorated their house with them… Weird but true)
  2. dick scracher for those hard to reach scraches on your dick was disapproved
    -Ok, now I think this persons gone too far… :/

HERO Milestones
00:00
Quest____________________#13
Become the 346th member of the
guild “Harvest Moon”
-The best guild, NICE!

00:01
A group of fans from a rival guild were in Godville spreading the word about their “Sage of Arcana” guild, when suddenly their pants burst into flames. They ran off screaming and I smoothly took over, assuring the townspeople about Harvest Moon’s non-combustible attire.
-Thats what I do to those who don’t respect my guild…
٩( ᐛ )و

00:02
Skeletons rose out of the Godville cemetery, proceeded to the town square and performed an elaborate dance number to the tune of “Harvest Moon” anthem.
-Was very entertaining ;)

00:03
“Harvest Moon” signs appeared on all the walls and buildings in town in glowing paint. This will show the other guilds that Godville is our territory now, at least until they paint it over again.
-Hmph, like thats ever ganna happen
ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

00:04
A lightning bolt hit a man, just as I told the crowd what was going to happen to all who oppose the “Harvest Moon” guild. Good timing, Fearsome One.
-Wow, are you being nice to me?
(・・?)

00:05
Dead heroes of “Harvest Moon” rose up from the grave in unison and offered free Swedish massages to every resident of Godville!
-Oh man! Gimme one too!
(● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

00:06
A freak gust of wind blew my guild promotion flyers out of my hands. Amazingly, a sudden vortex then dispersed the flyers, sending one into the letterbox of every household in Godville! Truly, “Harvest Moon” will blow all other guilds away in this town.
-Now go do your homework! Im tired of your squaking!
( ̄(工) ̄)

00:07
Pretended I was running for office and shook everyone’s hand in Godville. “Harvest Moon” will surely gain influence here.
-If you can act it, you can do it!
WHOOOP

00:08
Saw the phrase “Be still, and be silent. For danger is ahead” written on a tombstone. What a weird epitaph. ( ➠)
-I dont think he listened to his God, See that Ser Dumpsalot? that’ll happen to you if you don’t listen to me. o(`ω´ )o

PERSONAL FAVORITE
00:09
Suddenly, a popcorn seller pointed his finger at Ser Umpsalot and shouted, “Hey, I know that guy! He stole my buns!”
-oh no, he’s back! Flee my champion, FLEE!
・:*+.\(( °ω° ))/.:+

00:10
Despite my constant pleading, the authorities still haven’t found my diary’s 11th entry.
-Then I’ll have to talk with these “Authorities”, just lemmi grab my stick…
o(・x・)/

00:11
A strange looking man with a thinking cap on his head whispered to me: “I chose you Aurura North to be My stand in the realm of man.” Is he a member of some kind of secret society? ( ➠)
-Nice one Lightninggodjay, You creep me out…
(・Д・)

00:12
I pointed out to the Dogfather that my god would probably resurrect me, but if it died it will never see me again. It quickly grabbed my weapon and ended its own life. Found a cardboard coffin and 39 gold coins in the remains.
- Nice to know i’m not the only who thinks you’re annoying, err… thought.
(^_^;)

PERSONAL FAVORITE
00:13
Simba is a good companion to me. He even licked my wounds clean after the last battle. Either that or I forgot to feed him.
-YO, WUT DA FUQ MON!?
\(/0\)/

00:14
http://wiki.godvillegame.com/aura%20of%20confusion
-oh cr*p, now everything my hero says, is backwords…
!skcus sihT

00:15
Heroes waiting in the arena queue were about to start complaining over the too long-drawn fight, when one of them remembered that this is a fight with the terribly vicious Ser Umpsalot, causing the line to go silent.
-Oh wow, I’m impressed.
( ゚д゚)

00:16
I’ve been feeling a little under the weather lately, Terrifying One. Maybe you could stop sending so much lightning my way?
-Now lemme think about that,ZAP
(•\ _ /•#)

00:17
A strange looking man with a chicken hat on his head whispered to me: “Blood for the blood god, skulls for the skull throne.” Is he a member of some kind of secret society? ( ➠)
By Sharp- and his HERO Bilbo T Baggins LOL
(=^▽^)σ

00:18
I suppose that at my age being a hero is okay, but it raises the question: where do I want to be in five years’ time?
-Umm, it would be nice to have you owning a shop in 2 years so… dead again? you really seem like you like to drown yourself. Every time you’ve died, it cuz you drowned yourself, ya nimrod… :\

00:19
My enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so am I. They never stop thinking of new ways to harm me, and neither do I.
You like to hurt your self…? WHAT DID I INVENT…?
Σ(゚д゚lll)

00:20
Distracted the farmer then plucked a chicken feather to tickle the troll who dropped a golden trumpet which woke the sleeping Gorons who ate the pile of rocks that was blocking the path forward.
My quest to unlock the next quest area was a triumph! I’m making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. Got a golden brick too.
-Im fine with that… :)

00:21
I am so excited about my date with that cute princess! Mighty One, do you think I should wear this tie, or… Hey! What am I doing here?! I can’t believe you choose NOW to send me to the arena…
-oops… :(;゙゚’ω゚’):

00:22
Ser Umpsalot suddenly bit his enemy’s ear, nearly tearing his head off.
-Thats one strong ear… and it happened twice… (o)

00:23
A ray of holy light shone down from the heavens… Argh, I’m burning!
-And thats how you treat your HERO.
:D

00:24
Tried flirting with the trader’s daughter. The trader thought I was trying out some deadly new combat skill and gave me 167 coins just to stop me.
Hrm,,, guess you can buy love…
:
/

00:25
Suddenly, there was news about a golden calf grazing in a field near Godville. Great One, was that your handiwork? I took this opportunity to declare it a sacred symbol of the “Harvest Moon” guild.
-Yusssssssss
d( ̄  ̄)

00:26
Your kindness creeps me out, Great One. Stop it.
-That hurts me more than the lighning that hits my HERO
_:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

00:27
Another Thin Client slain, another notch on my weapon.
you could have just taken his gold…
(
.-;)

00:28
Heard the body of a deceased hero whisper, “Follow my voice if you want to rule.” I thought dead men told no tales? ( ➠)
-sigh… just shut up… (:3」z)

00:29
A preacher for a false god said, “Whatever else you do, do NOT, under any circumstances, discover why meteors only land in craters!” The nerve of that idolater! I’m gonna go ahead and do it just to spite him.
-Who did this…? (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

00:30
The astrologists of Godville announced the discovery of a brand new constellation in the shape of my guild’s emblem! The townsfolk are enthralled. This is the dawning of the age of “Harvest Moon”!
-Ohh, you have no idea…
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

00:31
I ran out of space to write in my diary, so I bought a new one.
-Crap,I just got here… ( ´Д`)

00:32
step 25
The kids playing in the area decided that they want to be like Liquid Crystal and Ser Dumpsalot when they grow up and immediately began to fight.
-great, just great… (゚ω゚)

00:33
Enraged by insults from the audience, Ser Umpsalot grabs the heckler by both feet and redefines “split personality”. Habrman reels in horror.
-I created the “Joker” from DC comics… just great…
(c" ತ,_ತ)

PERSONAL FAVORITE
00:34
I pretended to be Death and took 335 gold coins from the trader by promising to delay his inevitable demise. Thanks for the disguise, Cunning One!
_Anytime,,, wait, you didnt die? DANGIT!!!

00:35
Oh, it hurts like hell! Darn acid! Great One, pour your wrath out on someone else!
-But I like to watch you jump around
☆*:.。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆

00:36
What I thought was a star was actually a giant rock. As soon as it hit me, it started raining. I guess this will have to do.
Hope that I won’t have to catch a falling star and save it for a rainy day again. But the reward was good: an extra dose of experience and a shiny golden brick!
-… oh well :D

00:37
The defeated monster just drew a dot on my perfectly clean map. Now I’ll have to go there to get rid of it.
00:37
Aha, that was the WANTED Vengeful Mole from the newspaper! Collected some proof to claim the reward for it later.
00:37
Squashed the WANTED Vengeful Mole like a bug. I must remember to clean my shoes the next time I’m in town.
-_Finnaly, my HEROs first catch, and with my luck, the only one… :D

00:38
The heck? I need to purchase the epic quest to continue? Screw that, I’m off to the bar.
I finally managed to complete the demo version of an epic quest and received one of the shiniest, most resplendent gold bricks I’ve ever seen. I will place this one at the entrance to your temple, Fearsome One.
-thx… i guess. but now ill never know what the ACTUAL quest is… Herm…

00:39
So, I heard that if you travel far enough from Godville, there are no towns, no people, no taverns, and no beer. I don’t want to end up out there! Better finish this quest.
When I finished my quest to find a reason to finish this quest, a sage approached me and let me choose my reward between gold coins or experience. The choice was obvious: kick his butt and take both.
-It seems that I have tought you well… if doing nothing counts as teaching… :/

00:40
Met up with Drago the bluedragon who showed me some weapon tips. It turns out that I’ve been using the wrong end.
-I dont think thats true… (0.0)

00:41
Decided to take a break from questing to do my own thing. Finally, a chance to rescue an agoraphobic dwarf from the wilderness.
-your own thing is the thing you wanna take a break from… I thought you were more complicated…
-SIGH-

00:42
While eavesdropping on other gods talking to their heroes, I heard the words, “You are young, yet you bring me hope for my future.” Why can’t our relationship be like that, Almighty? ( ➠)
-_We do. you shut up, and I zap you no matter what, even if it kills you… :)

PERSONAL FAVORITE
00:43
Prince James dang tickles Ser Umpsalot mercilessly. Several members of the audience faint at the cruelty of the scene.
-Excuse me, what?! ∑(゚Д゚)

00:44
A higher level hero once told me: “If at first you don’t succeed, hide all evidence that you tried.”
-… That’s it, I’m out…
_φ( ̄ー ̄ )

00:45
Soaring up into the air in a beam of colorful light, Simba started to look bigger and stronger. Hmm, there isn’t any reason to fear for my life, is there?
-_Let me see… nope, the meteore shower is mext month, today theres a “magnifrying” glass in the sky but your fire/heat proof… wish you were water proof though… :3

PERSONAL FAVORITE
00:46
Attempted to escape from the Monorail Cat by jumping into the nearby river. Promptly drowned.
-Really? the second I log off you go and drown yourself? Sigh I dont know what to do with you…
~_:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

00:47
A thundering voice shouted, “What happened to you my child?.” And I thought my god was annoying. ( ➠)
-Excuse me, WUT? ¿()

00:48
Sorry about the missing pages of your diary, Ser Umpsalot. I ran out of tissue and leaves at the last campsite. I.O.U. One diary. – Ser Erthar
-Gee, at least you answerd. _ :\

00:49
An anvil just fell on my head. Was that you, Great One, or have I been watching too many cartoons?
-What do you think ya Dingus…

00:50
Oh, come on! Everyone has those thoughts occasionally!
-_occasionally? OCCASIONALLY?! why do you think the voices in your head shut up!?
( *`ω´)

@ PERSONAL FAVORITE@
00:51
I yelled “!!EEEAT MEEE!!!™” on the mountaintops, but the echoes came back as “Cancel your god damn quest that I damn.”
No comment

00:52
As I lay dying, the Dreaded Gazebo whispered into my ear, “Where is your great god now?”

-Lol, up your a$$, SURPRISE!
♪───O(≧∇≦)O────♪

00:53
Just before I came back to life, a tall bony fellow gave me an aura of spookiness as a parting gift. Neat!
-Wait WHAT?! I thought I tolled you not to take things from strangers!
o(`ω´ )o

00:54
If looks could kill, I would be a weapon of mass destruction.
-Yeah, you look like sh*t…
💩 \(´Д`)

00:55
Oh, you think darkness is your ally, Giant Midget, but you merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, molded by it… oh wait, I just had my eyes closed.
-Whew! that was a close one! almost thought you knew your true nature…NO ONE CAN KNOW HIS TRUE NATURE…
/(^o^)\

00:56
Sitting on the floor of the arena, making a statue of you, Mighty One. I didn’t know you had such a huge nose.
-Are you sure that’s me?
(๑╹ω╹๑ )

00:57
I was singing the “Harvest Moon” anthem in the town square when three angels swooped down and provided a catchy accompaniment. That tune is really stuck in everyone’s head now.
-for the rest of their lives… (^EVIL LAUGHTER^)

00:58
I just heard someone in the tavern shout, “None of this is real you’re in a game.” Pretty funny — someone’s more drunk than I am! ( ➠)
Sigh cant win them all…

00:59
A thousand and one yellow daffodils began to dance in front of me. Was that you, Great One? …or just the mushrooms I ate earlier?
-Nah, that was just Death pranking you… (^_~)

01:00
An alien burst out of the Boogie Woogie Man’s chest and scurried off into the distance, leaving both of us nonplussed.
-So thats where I sent him, huh…

01:01
My Lord, whatever it is you’re cooking it smells wonderful… Wait a minute, it’s me! Oh god, no!
-GET OUT OF MY CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP! I’M SICK!!!

01:02
Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time and you’ll have the time of your life. Tavern here I come!
-…Can’t argue with statement…

01:03
Panicked a little when I mistook my reflection for a Lonely Hive Mind. Panicked a lot when I realized that’s what I look like now. Back to town for a mud bath and a seaweed wrap!
-Lol, you look better than the last time i saw you.

01:04
Something exploded in my trophy case. I fainted for a moment and recovered to find myself in the busy streets of Bosswell.
-Activated a golden ticked, then sent him to the arena…oops

01:05
They say a good smack to the head can make you speak other languages. Je ne crois pas à ces sornettes…
-…whut?

01:06
I fell in to a ring of fire and it burns burns burns.
-I really hope it burned you with both words and fire…

01:07
Saw a down-on-his-luck hero holding a sign reading, “You were the one i was looking for.” That’s no way to make money. ( ➠)
Hmph Scammers…

01:08
#120
Bring balance to the force (epic)
MA 1ST EPIC!

01:09
Snuk up behind a scare cow and shouted “BOO”!
Stupidity lasts forever huh?

01:10
I’ve been dying to meet the Starless Knight. Now I’m dead.
Aww… cr*p. Than my Christmas gift is life, deal with it.

NEW
01:11
Release the flaming snowman from a snowglobe prison
umm,,, im just ganna roll with this one…here comes another death for my HERO...

NEW
My HERO got a ❄(Snow Flake)…Dunno why but that makes me happy!

Wondering if its ok to put URLs in here…
Ganna do it anyway untill the people who run this game tell me to stop. ;)

This is my KoL account if you play,
Ser Dumpsalot (#3295528)
https://godvillegame.com/gods/Snowplug4man
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
?