Major Dummbatz

level 48

Never eat crouch fish.

Age 8 years 11 months
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 51 thousand
Death Count 32
Wins / Losses 114 / 72
Temple Completed at 06/10/2013
Wood for Ark 7.6%
Savings 492 thousand (1.6%)
Pet Vogon poet Iago


Weapon mace of amnesia +57
Shield sword processor +58
Head halo of a fallen angel +57
Body lumberjacket +59
Arms two turtle gloves +59
Legs clever clogs +57
Talisman acid rock +57


  • steel finger level 24
  • death by snu-snu level 19
  • pseudopod attack level 19
  • mosquito roar level 17
  • sober view level 15
  • dove of peace level 15
  • spoon-bending level 15
  • strong brow level 14
  • unbearable boredom level 14
  • splinter removal level 13




  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Renegade, 1st rank
  • Animalist, 2nd rank
  • Champion, 2nd rank
  • Fiend, 2nd rank
  • Hunter, 2nd rank
  • Careerist, 3rd rank
  • Martyr, 3rd rank
  • Raider, 3rd rank
  • Shipwright, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

How I meet my all mighty One was at a whore house I was applying for a security job when a man with fifty women surrounding him beckoned me over. He said my name is Green and you can work for me and if your from my hood you know Green is god so you better do as he says. That is how my adventure started.

After many days of working on my hero skills I vanquished many a monster. After whooping a Ninja Tortoise it began to weep. So I cleaned him up and put a leash on him. Gave him the name Stitch. We fought many a monsters together till one perilous day. That day he saved my life and died in the process. So I celebrated by drinking myself silly and burying him near a pizza parlor. By that time I was halfway complete with my temple. So I prayed to my god over another night of drinking and smoking. While praying Jim Green sent me the blue print of a strip club he wanted for his temple. So while out doing quest I started hiring town beauties and princess to worship my god as strippers.

While recruiting dimes for Jim Green I had a sudden need to start the Brick Squad Guild. Upon its creation I meet many other people who party as hard as me. After bringing over Jim Green’s strippers and blacking out for about a month during the Grand Opening party. As Brick Squad grew so did their ways of making money thru various activities legal and illegal. One day Brick Squad may become the greatest Guild in all of Godville or maybe just the most evil guild.

Many days later

Major Dummbatz was almost finished with his strip club temple for Jim Green to live for eternity. He has had a few mishaps along the way losing his Ninja Tortoise Stitch to one of the monster. Hiring a female Vogon poet named Iago to do a Solar Bear show much like a Donkey show. Been slapped by heroines countless times for eye googling them and then asking if they want to become strippers. Spent days trying to figure out how much tequila one can drink while in his own champagne rooms and seeing if smoke screens actually make fat strippers skinnier. Well only a few more weeks and Twisted Nipple Temple(Strip Club) will be open for donatations to Jim Green.