Foreword by Ilias
The Truth is that in a previous life and in a previous alternate reality, I was the hero and Zhantarus the god. But the wheel turneth and shit happeneth, as they sayeth. But my Zhantarus is a fool and needs not know The Truth.
Last words by Zhantarus
I always thought I was a god. Turns out I was just a common bum among humanfolk. And a rather hairy one at that. With bad breath. And spots. And wind.
I reckoned I was invincible until I died more times than I can
manage bother to count!
Some say my life has just started now that I’ve joined the Goon Squad. I just hope I won’t end up being the squad goon! I’m already Ilias’ goon… He’s already made copies of me so more of me can worship Him! Not even sure which one of us is writing the diary… Not exactly certain which one is writing this right now! I need to get a grip over my life and myselves. Actually, I would just settle for not ending up a goon for myself!
It was love at first sight, so I grabbed him and ran! He doesn’t really speak, but boy can he write! Golly gosh, my first pet! And a ballpoint penguin at that!
The box he was left unattended in said Pilot, so I assume that’s his name. I suppose I could have asked him, but he’s mine, not the other way around! When he dies, I’ll never forget him (I hope).
Pilot is so clumsy that he keeps dropping himself. I find it endearing, except when he does it in public (which is all the You-damned time grrrr). On a personal note, I am also ashamed by my trading skills which seem better than my warrior skills. So it’s more my hero skills that I feel are letting me down.
When my Migthy Pilot was about to die, I got so anxious that I ended up dying myself. Silly me! Still, not before I saved him. He is rather Splendid nowadays I am proud to say.
The second time my now Tenacious Pilot died, I also died. Coincidence? I think not! So I went on a very long booze quest after my
captor God resurrected me. This is when I realized than He loved my pet more then He loves little and (nearly) faithful me. You should have seen the energy He deployed to raise capital to save MY pet, that I wanted to keep dead. Oh Lord, the pet of Thy pet is NOT your Youdamned pet.
So there, 6 months after the beginning of my
ordeal slavery odyssey, 4 months after I nicked Pilot, I was (sort of) sorry to see him depart my life. So long faithful killer of mine and me! I just hope we don’t meet in the afterlife…
On the subject of pride in myself: I am proud to say that I am a very generous person, and that I can prove it, which is
almost as important as I can then brag about it!
(21/08/17) 17:20 Restored balance to the poverty gap by donating one gold coin to a beggar. Felt proud and treated myself to 2832 gold coins worth of drinking at a high-end pub.
Dear diary… I don’t know how to say this but I might have met someone special. Her name (yes, before you ask, she is a/not an animal b/alive c/not a captive) is Georgiana. Her god is Cham Almighty. Scam Almighty if you ask me!
Anyways, so we met a long time ago while fighting some monster or other, kind of befriended each other, lost sight until I saw something she carved in a tree. And… I don’t know, it made me think – and you know that’s not my strong suite!
Perhaps she is mocking me… Or she likes me… Or she wants to kill me! I’d always assumed I’d die alone, with only my love for beer and a guygod who’s kindest word for me was that I didn’t disappoint him ‘cause He ain’t gotta no expection o’ me! I’m exploring my options here and figuring out what emotions are. Who knows! (Yes Scamtharus knows, but He sure isn’t letting on)