Dear Father,
My application to the Heroic University’s School of Thought was, once again, rejected. Apparently, without the Hero title, not even my portfolio of inventions is impressive enough for those old fossils. Fortunately, sales of the Improbability Drive and Gravity Accelerator are increasing, and I will be able to remain here and fund my experiments for the foreseeable future. In an attempt to solve this dilemma rationally, here are the salient facts:
1. NPC’s are not allowed to enroll in the School of Thought.
2. Heroes are not born, but created ex nihilo by their patron Gods. Corollary: it is impossible for a NPC to become a Hero
3. A God creates a Hero to perform Feats in His/Her Name.
Father, I believe I have had an epiphany! If you could have my industrial freezer and lightning generator sent to my lab here in Godville, I would be forever grateful. I’ll show those pompous fools a real Hero! Time to rob some graves!
May the probability waves collapse in your favor,
Heureka