Brian Washer

level 66

Have a cup of tea...☕

Age 12 years 6 months
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 133 thousand
Death Count 110
Wins / Losses 35 / 34
Temple Completed at 06/02/2013
Wood for Ark 43.2%
Savings 2M, 318k (7.7%)
Pet Double dragon Stubby


Weapon kaboomerang +75
Shield electronic countermeasures +75
Head Honest Abe's top hat +75
Body corduroy ninja outfit +76
Arms palm oil +76
Legs spiked-wheel roller blades +77
Talisman croaking device +76


  • iron vortex level 42
  • mating contact level 41
  • radiokinesis level 40
  • steel finger level 36
  • heel grip level 36
  • foot massage level 36
  • effect of the groundhog level 35
  • somersault squatting level 27
  • electro-broom level 27
  • winged swing level 23




  • Animalist, 1st rank
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Martyr, 2nd rank
  • Renegade, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Shipwright, 2nd rank
  • Careerist, 3rd rank
  • Champion, 3rd rank
  • Hunter, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

Look into my eyes… don’t look around the eyes, look straight into my eyes… you are entering a deep state of hypnosis… deeper… deeper… all the way down.



Now, everything I say is absolute truth and you will surrender your will unconditionally to me…. ‘The Leader’. Trust in Me. 


You really are blessed by luck, as by stumbling through the hallowed portals of THE GROOVY CHURCH OF HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY you have embarked upon a personal quest of self realisation through mindless joy. Trust in Me.


The Groovy Church is a guild you really can call home… we will even eventually replace your family! WE ARE YOUR FAMILY. Trust in Me. 


The Groovy Church will cleanse your mind and fully liberate you to achieve enlightenment through the esoteric arts of copy pasting and LOL meditation. Imagination is a dangerous and heretical act which only leads to false freedom. COPY-PASTE-LOL! You will be assimilated. Trust in Me. 

For all the wonderful services we provide, The Groovy Church only requires two small things from guild members, namely 50% of your earnings and your soul. And the soul of your cat. Yes, that’s 3 things. Counting correctly is a dangerous and heretical act that only leads to false freedom. Trust in Me. HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!

3-2-1…. You’re back in the room.

Welcome to the Groovy Church! The donations tin is in the corner. Don’t be a stranger.