Look into my eyes… don’t look around the eyes, look straight into my eyes… you are entering a deep state of hypnosis… deeper… deeper… all the way down.
Good.
HAPPY!
Now, everything I say is absolute truth and you will surrender your will unconditionally to me…. ‘The Leader’. Trust in Me.
HAPPY!
You really are blessed by luck, as by stumbling through the hallowed portals of THE GROOVY CHURCH OF HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY you have embarked upon a personal quest of self realisation through mindless joy. Trust in Me.
JOY!
The Groovy Church is a guild you really can call home… we will even eventually replace your family! WE ARE YOUR FAMILY. Trust in Me.
JOY!
The Groovy Church will cleanse your mind and fully liberate you to achieve enlightenment through the esoteric arts of copy pasting and LOL meditation. Imagination is a dangerous and heretical act which only leads to false freedom. COPY-PASTE-LOL! You will be assimilated. Trust in Me.
For all the wonderful services we provide, The Groovy Church only requires two small things from guild members, namely 50% of your earnings and your soul. And the soul of your cat. Yes, that’s 3 things. Counting correctly is a dangerous and heretical act that only leads to false freedom. Trust in Me. HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!
3-2-1…. You’re back in the room.
Welcome to the Groovy Church! The donations tin is in the corner. Don’t be a stranger.