Gorgeous George has finally completed his temple. And he has also enjoyed foolishly spending his money to get there. At first, when he curiously downloaded this app on his iphone and spewed out another hero to litter the lands of Godville, it was a lonely experience for him. Gorgeous George had no idea what the hell was going on in this weird yet wonderful game and to make matters worse, he had no friends.
But he noticed the pantheons and he said to himself “Gorgeous George fancies to have a place in those”
He noticed the Arena and the chance to fight other Heros and he said “Gorgeous George shall fight other heros in the arena and become like other gladiator champions such as Spartacus and some geezer called Godzillla”
He noticed the ideabox and said “Gorgeous George shall make his mark by submitting awful ideas and tell everybody how to do it”
And so he started playing and then he noticed a gold brick his hero obtained and he said “Hmm, this is nice and shiny, I vow that I’ll get a thousand of those and have a temple constructed in my name.” It was by pure and utter chance that that was actually one of the main points of the game.
And so he ploughed on. He started reading Wiki articles, reading Forum and Guild threads, learning from others, realising there are other n00bs like him. He eventually contributed stuff, (long lost in the forum archives by now), shy and timid at first, fearing a seering backlash from the ‘experienced ones’. That didn’t happen. (Well actually, there was this one guy but that’s not important right now).
He got a bit braver, achieved his goal by submitting his ‘Idea Fail’ guide (http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/793) and got noticed by some sorry SOBs in the form of an angry red flashing LED, an immoral rodent and meat-headed, yet lovable jester. And so he ended up with these sorry bunch of losers infamously known as the LEAGUE OF ADJUDICATORS. Gorgeous George felt welcome and felt that he could express himself in the form of a guy who is like…..really, really, really Gorgeous. It worked.
The guys (secretly jealous of course) mocked him and poked fun at him but that didn’t stop the ladies swooning at his feet. His workout DVD sales went through the roof. He had fun, parties and adventures, he had friends. And most importantly, he had a hero that worshipped and loved him.
Gorgeous George realises that this is meant to be a “Hero’s Chronicles” but he frankly doesn’t care and prefers talking about himself.
But for the sake of conformity, here goes.
AlextheAverage in a nutshell:
He got born. He grew up. One day he saw a poster of George Clooney and said “I’ll worship him. He’s so ruggedly handsome and I want to be like him. He’s my Idol”
And Gorgeous George was pleased with such devotion and crowned him his champion.
Alextheaverage is now a hero and now has the ability to die and resurrect like Torchwood’s Captain Jack Harkness….without the overly homoerotic bits…and WW2 jacket.
Initially, Alextheaverage was aspiring to be AlextheGreat but that name was already taken by some ancient Greek warrior shmuck who resembled Colin Farrell…again without the gay bits. So aiming for the name of AlextheAboveAverage will have to do.
But the road is still long and never-ending, the quests are still many and Gorgeous George every once in a while, still occasionally checks in on him. Well, his pet actually, to see if the bugger is still alive…what with the Taming Badge being a whopping 75 points in iPhone’s Gamecentre Achievements…who could blame Gorgeous George for wanting it?
But AlextheAverage doesn’t really need to know that. He does what he does best.
And that’s the way it should be.