level 93

ƒ everything.

Age 5 years 6 months
Personality neutral
Guild The Forsakens Lament
(chief master)
Monsters Killed about 301 thousand
Death Count 194
Wins / Losses 41 / 19
Temple Completed at 03/27/2014
Ark Completed at 05/16/2016 (204.4%)
Twos of Every Kind 888m, 828f (82.8%)
Savings 9M, 973k (33.2%)
Pet Godvilla Fido 7th level


Weapon point-and-shoot sword +104
Shield health insurance card +102
Head helm of unparalleled density +102
Body cloak of artificial modesty +102
Arms four-fingered gauntlets +104
Legs kilt of a thousand drafts +103
Talisman lucky star +107


  • oak cloaking level 94
  • liana-eyebrows level 84
  • powerful sneeze level 82
  • backyard portal level 77
  • electro-broom level 76
  • menacing glance level 75
  • foot massage level 71
  • poisoned kiss level 70
  • clinical strike level 58
  • selfish interest level 49




  • Honored Animalist
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Careerist, 1st rank
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Hunter, 1st rank
  • Martyr, 1st rank
  • Shipwright, 1st rank
  • Fiend, 2nd rank
  • Raider, 2nd rank
  • Renegade, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Savior, 2nd rank
  • Seadog, 2nd rank
  • Champion, 3rd rank
  • Coach, 3rd rank
  • Moneybag, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

Yay, this is a chronicle!

The Ideabox Rejector and the heroine are discussing the unseasonably good weather…

Two bold items combined: 02:09: Yes, Almighty! Following your command I blindly made a continuum transfunctioner using the a chrono trigger, a community chest and 23 gold coins as materials.
(Too bad I don’t have the GP to activate it now!)

I’ve found a new recipe: take the token of friendship, merge it with tablet of random numbers and you’ll get a transmogrifier!

2 Bold activateable items combined into 1 bold regular, but then made it back into a bold activatable one!
12:51: I’ve found a new recipe: take a bioenergy amplifier, merge it with a box with a question mark and you’ll get a black hole punch!
12:52: Yes, Soul Supreme! Following your command I blindly made a box with a question mark using a bunch of hallucinogenic dill, a black hole punch and 23 gold coins as materials.

11:43: Yes, Almighty! Following your command I blindly made a beryllium sphere using the a bunch of wilted flowers, a broken heart and 24 coins as materials.

02:53: Planning to bribe the Godville Times editor to finally make the front page…

03:03: The handsome barman at “Progress Bar” told me that he would definitely go on a date with me if I managed to determine the terminal airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow! I’m sure he wasn’t just saying that to get me to leave. Not this time.

09:15: Don’t know how, but I transformed the astral projector into the Ungrateful Dead. The creature ran away and dropped a no-leaf clover, while screaming something about long-awaited freedom.

10:17: I found a new recipe: take a clear-colored crayon, merge it with a chunk of concrete evidence and you’ll get a corner of the globe!

02:39: Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by their common destiny have defeated the Auriferous Leeching Vertigoat! Ladyitty added 11106 gold coins, ear of the Vertigoat, a body language translator, an universal serial bus pass and a social network adapter to her bag.

Jan 8, 2013 – 06:10: Judging by Sparky’s face I think he’s tired of me. I guess it’s time to finally set him free. Farewell, Sparky! I promise to find a new best friend in your memory!

Dec. 12, 2012 – 01:00: Wow, 24! I don’t get older, I level up!

Dec. 30, 2012 – 09:15: Reached level 25. Now I am officially allowed to do the things I shouldn’t have been doing. Yeah!

Jan. 6, 2013 – 09:11: Reached level 26. Now I am officially allowed to do the things I shouldn’t have been doing. Yeah!

Jan. 14, 2013 – 07:30: I can’t believe I’m level 27 already. People tell me that I look much younger though, and I still act like a total noob.

Feb. 03 – 02:28: I can’t believe I’m level 29 already. People tell me that I look much younger though, and I still act like a total noob.

March 02 – 09:09: Wow, I am level 32 now!

The MOLE population:

  1. 04:38: There sure are a lot of holes along this path. I guess there must be a serious mole problem in this area.
  1. Idly watching some upset moles sign a petition to restrict hole digging…

07:42: Burrowed into Last Resort to avoid the gatekeepers, but got fined by a mole for tunneling without a license.

02:04 PM Was resurrected and immediately had to burrow myself out from underground. Turned out someone had buried me in Godvillewood. Thank goodness, I thought I’d been reincarnated as a mole!

Quest #1982: : Find a more mole-friendly way to dig

Quest #2229: : Agree on a dig-free zone with the leader of the mole council
They told me that to agree on a dig-free zone with the leader of the mole council would be a piece of cake. Well, I don’t see any cake, and I can’t eat this stupid golden brick either.
We agreed on it. Too bad for the mole council it’s far away from the paths commonly traveled by us heroes.

So I finally got a good pet: 01:27 PM I was just about to defeat the Vengeful Mole when he pulled out a beer and offered it to me. Hey, I could use a good drinking buddy. Slapped a collar on him and named him Nipper. He looks like he’s regretting his choice now.
Renamed him to Holymoley!

09:40 PM Good news! Holymoley agreed to match my retirement contribution this time! Together, we deposited 2351 gold coins. Of course, I’m loaning him the money until he earns enough himself.

My mole got chased by a mole?: 03:17 PM Played fetch with Holymoley. I squealed happily when he brought back a ‘Free hug’ coupon, then screamed in terror when I saw the Vengeful Mole chasing him.

Enjoying the updated sail features Summer 2017:
Got about 15000 gold for a small box and about 25000 for an actual sail treasure.
Islands that can be used more than once do NOT lose their type icon.

[Please leave a copy of this chronicle in every hotel room in Godville, k? K.]