Hero

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Sonic Screwhero

level 73

Allons-y!

Age 10 years 8 months
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 178 thousand
Death Count 138
Wins / Losses 10 / 8
Temple Completed at 10/10/2014
Ark Completed at 10/18/2016 (117.6%)
Twos of Every Kind 66m, 61f (6.1%)
Savings 4M, 750k (15.8%)
Pet Heffalump Scratchy 16th level

Equipment

Weapon sea saw +83
Shield political correctness +82
Head frame of mind +81
Body suspenders of disbelief +85
Arms motion-capture dots +82
Legs kilt of mooning +83
Talisman strong letter of recommendation +82

Skills

  • tin throat level 55
  • powerful sneeze level 48
  • steel finger level 44
  • peek-a-boo level 42
  • flying bird level 40
  • full throttle level 40
  • teeth gnashing level 39
  • opacity control level 38
  • cry of horror level 37
  • cash whistle level 34

Pantheons

Might17122
Templehood10575

Achievements

  • Honored Renegade
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Careerist, 1st rank
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Shipwright, 1st rank
  • Animalist, 2nd rank
  • Fiend, 2nd rank
  • Hunter, 2nd rank
  • Martyr, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Champion, 3rd rank
  • Moneybag, 3rd rank
  • Savior, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

10:44 AM Oh no, the bright light always comes before the… healing?? Well, Exalted One, this isn’t like you.

09:29 am Told the trader that I wouldn’t part with the graphics engine at any price on principle. Made 247 gold coins profit from selling both my principles and the graphics engine.

03:28 pm Launched into an elaborate interpretive dance to illustrate the pain and sacrifices I endured to acquire my awkward silence generator. The emotional intensity of my performance so overawed the trader he handed me 252 coins before I even completed the prologue.

10:03 pm Sonic Screwhero tore into Level Boss like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage.

09:44 am That which does not kill us makes us angry and weak.

07:30 pm Told the doctor what happened. He’s now in the corner, crying.

08:51 PM The Principal of Darkness was about to finish me off when a flaming meteor heading straight at me suddenly veered off course, deflected by the flutter of butterfly wings, instantly killing my foe. Either this is a miracle, Omnipotent One, or I’ve just proven the Chaos theory.

07:37 am On the bright side, I have a new disconnect-the-dots book. On the bad side, all that talk about killing the Illegal Guardian doing irreparable damage to the fabric of space-time was true. Cosmic things are more up your alley though so I’ll leave you to fix that.

10:30 PM Today, I’m doing nothing because I started doing it yesterday and I haven’t finished it yet.

01:30 PM Saw a hero speed wildly by on a chariot while being struck by lightning numerous times. I think he might have been driving under the influence.

09:39 PM Sonic Screwhero tore into Drowned Captain like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage.

04:21 PM Took a heavy blow to the head with consummate ease. For some reason, monsters seem to be under the impression that this part of me is vulnerable.

12:44 AM Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. Unless, however, I’m very low on health… in which case I’m allowed to hide and quiver in a bush somewhere.

07:59 PM I found a lamp on the ground, and when I rubbed it clean a genie popped out! The genie said he’d grant me three wishes, but only if I come inside and take a look at some paint samples he’s picked out for the bathroom. Screw that! I’m a hero, not an interior decorator.

08:51 PM Met Randtdr today. We traded stories of our near-death experiences. It’s amazing how many ways a hero can die.

10:15 AM The doctors told me they couldn’t make an accurate diagnosis because of the masking effects of alcohol. I’d better come back later when they’ve sobered up.

03:10 AM This is no time to panic. This is a time to flee in abject terror.

09:52 PM Asked the Sulphuric Aphid whether it was dead or just pretending. “Guess!” it said. Darn, I really don’t know.

09:51 PM Meandering along the path I came across a sign that said “Low Trees”, so I gave one a big hug and carried on my way.

08:52 AM Here I lay in the throes of dying agony and the Luminous One elects to send a potted aloe plant to sit on my chest. Why do I worship you, my lady?

12:21 PM You hear that, monsters? Yeah, it’s me, Sonic Screwhero, and I smell victory! Also a nearby skunk. But mostly victory! So run, cowards!