Heroine

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Ahava 24

level 79

I aim to misbehave.

Age 13 years 2 months
Personality neutral
Guild no guild
Monsters Killed about 234 thousand
Death Count 154
Wins / Losses 59 / 37
Temple Completed at 01/18/2013
Ark Completed at 10/27/2016 (113.2%)
Twos of Every Kind 44m, 25f (2.5%)
Savings 5M, 867k (19.6%)
Pet Trojan horse Nibbler

Equipment

Weapon bartenderizer +91
Shield emotional wall +88
Head system specs +91
Body sacrificial vestment +88
Arms holy water wings +89
Legs anti-lock brakes +88
Talisman golden calf +90

Skills

  • acid tears level 62
  • inept singing level 61
  • swoop of the smith level 60
  • bloody itch level 57
  • effect of the groundhog level 55
  • electrostatic discharge level 52
  • brain dilution level 52
  • foot massage level 49
  • forced generosity level 43
  • asynchronous swimming level 32

Pantheons

Might13720
Templehood5157
Gladiatorship8297

Achievements

  • Honored Renegade
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Favorite, 1st rank
  • Martyr, 1st rank
  • Shipwright, 1st rank
  • Champion, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Animalist, 3rd rank
  • Careerist, 3rd rank
  • Hunter, 3rd rank
  • Moneybag, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

Ahava has yet to come to terms with being considered a heroine. She has attempted to abandon being a heroine, with the expected failure. She is unwilling to believe that she has no chance of being anything but a heroine. Her prayers are full of whining, blubbering, begging, pleading, and other wimpy attitudes. The Godess merely rolls her eyes and places more quests, paths and monsters in front of the hapless Ahava.

The Godess is not malevolent, mind you. She just doesn’t feel the need to give attention as a reward for sniveling about the heroine’s lot in life. The Godess is rather kind, never using the large maroon Punish button on the heroine. Rainbows, fortune cookies and unicorns are produced at semi-regular intervals to show that life as a heroine can be quite tolerable. It is hoped that Ahava will one day come to her senses and just suck it up, preferably before Sol implodes.

As part of Ahava’s constant training, she encounters Bugblatter Beasts. The Godess has developed a fondness for using creatures listed in the Hitchhiker’s Guide. Ahava is not amused, as you would expect. She will learn. One day.

Ahava has begun to accept her lot in life. She has acquired two skills along her journey. Each new level sees fewer complaints. One complaint remains constant: she wants a horse. She wants to stop having to walk on her blistered feet. The Godess wishes she could oblige, but she knows that blisters aren’t forever. Calluses will form.

Ahava’s frequent complaint about loneliness should wain with her recent bout of good luck. She has found a pet, a firefox she lovingly named Pinky. The Godess is pleased, of course.

The Godess has watched Ahava and Pinky grow in their relationship together. They have become quite a team, teaching each other new tricks. Ahava would never admit to learning something from a pet, especialy a firefox. She has decided that her intellect is quite superior to Pinky’s, which should be proof enough that Ahava is the one teaching new skills, never Pinky. This is a source of great amusement for the Godess and for potential stories in the great guild hall of The Knights Who Say Ni. The Godess does request that the reader refrain from popping Ahava’s bubble of disillusionment. Such sources of pure humor are rare indeed.

Ahava proved her loyalty to her pet, resurrecting him after he was squished to death by a dreadful monster. It is doubtful that she did this out of a sense of efficiency or intelligence. Her diary is full of far too many foolish tales to support the idea that she planned ahead in her decision to resurrect her firefox instead of burying it and searching for a new pet. Regardless, Ahava and Pinky are merrily traipsing down a path in search of the right path.

Recently, Ahava was in a battle that can only be described as epic. It took more than 80 rounds, countless healings, godly shouts, and lost hp to bring the battle of the heroines to an epic conclusion. Both performed admirably, fighting with some skill and an unusually large amount of luck. Since then, their god and godess have come to greatly respect each other and hope to continue sharing tales of deeds and battles over tea in the pubs while their minions are doing the real work. It is suggested to the reader to seek out the chronicles penned by TheGourdGod. There is much to be learned and enjoyed in those scrolls.