A/N: Hi and welcome to my Chronicles. I hope you enjoy it and the story that it tells. Also, please if you spot any mistakes can you point them out to me, that would be very much appreciated, thank you. And one last thing the entire chronicles are told through my heroes point of view. Well, enough of my babbling here’s the story, enjoy!
What I learned
When I was kind I thought others will be too. Now I know that’s a fools fantasy. People lie, people hide and most important people know how to hurt in the most excruciating ways. They can shatter your heart and make the shards pierce your mind causing you unknown agony. I used to let everyone in. What a death wish that was. Without knowing I was digging my own grave.
The world says that killing someone is the worst thing you can do to someone but do they remember r the cruelty of survival because I do. The most painful scars and deepest ones are ones you can’t see. Are the ones inflicted by words, betrail and loss. This is why I learned to be secluded. Why I never trust or give respect to anyone until they earn it. The people in the world must earn it to know who I am.
Loss
I run through the heavy rain as the drops mix with my tears. My black braids that were neatly done unravel from there ties. I think nothing but to run. One foot in front of the other. Run away run away, run away from what I can not understand. Run away from the reality. Runaway and find my truth. Run just run.
My heart hammers in my throat as I run through the forest. I do not even realize the rocks and twigs slicing my skin. All I can do is run. As I run I do not notice an outstretched branch and slam into it clasping to the ground. I sit there numb not even feeling the pain the branch must have inflicted.
I can’t feel anything.
My body is weightless as I lay, my ears ring as I stay still the rain falls on me sending shivers down my back. I lay there for what it must feel like for hours just silently laying letting the water seep through my bones. As I my vision started to blur but not from tears but exhaustion. I weakly try to fight it but can not find the strength to even try and quickly succumb to the black.
A day later——
All I see is black but I can feel now, I can definitely feel. My entire body aches and their places where it burns almost if I was cut by a knife. I try to move but all I manage is to rustle. But with that small movement, I now know I am not in the forest. The surface below me is warm and soft not cold and jagged. I realize I am in a bed but who’s bed? As I lay I hear a soft deep voice
" Noel you’re awake!, Kyla get here"
‘Who is that voice? Wait for Kyla, my friend? Why is she here?’ My mind races to put the pieces together and as I think it clicks.
" Maddox is that you"I Croke
“Yes it is and Kyla is here to heal you” Maddox answers/
Knowing my friends are here I want nothing more than to open my eyes. Slowly but surely I blick them open. What I see makes me what to weep. My lover by my side his soft brown eyes looking at me and my best friend wraps my wounds. But it is what I don’t see that makes the tears start to fall.
“There gone aren’t they " I whisper.
Maddox and Kyla look at each other both hesitant to speak. After a minute of pure silence. Maddox sighs and looks at me
“Yes, your parents are gone” as he speaks those words I could feel my heart shatter and mind fracture. The outer pain was nothing compared to the inner turmoil I feel in that moment.
as I lay there tears falling Maddox holds my hand and Kyla tends to my wounds. Neither one of them speaks. They just let me cry and moron the loss of my only family.
Words and betrayal
It has been two years since they died and I have not healed yet my heart still feels like glass cutting me everyday my mind a mess of thoughts but the saving grace was Maddox and Kyla. They kept me alive since my parent’s death but nothing more. I should have seen it coming, however, I was blind and did not see what was right in front of me. This is the story of words and betrayal.
I woke up that morning the sun shining through my windows. I tossed and turned until pulling off the sheets and starting my morning routine. I walk over to my oak chest that has my family crest engraved in its wood. A ring of fire circling a fox with two diamonds filled in on either side and one on top just the outline. I open the chest and take out my mothers old red leather diary. I slowly reach for it and bring it to my desk. I place the dairy on the worn desk and sit down. Flipping to an empty page. I grab my white quill e and dip it the ink and start to write.
April 19
Dear Dairy
It has been two years now since mama and father died. I still miss them dearly. I’m going to visit their graves today on the hill. It has been hard and I still wish them here rather than I but Maddox and Kyla have helped. However, they have been quiet lately and not around lately. I wouldn’t mind this if it wasn’t leading up to this day. Why does it seem that no matter what I do? who I am with? I am alone. Even with others the ache in my chest never goes away. The overwhelming weight of loneliness always lingering. I hope it passes soon, I hope this all ends soon. This is all for today Dairy.
I place my quill back down and close my diary. I sigh as I stand and grab my cloak. A dark navy that complements my blue eyes. I also snatch my father’s satchel and place my mother’s dairy carefully into it. Walking to the front door I just stare at it as if I could make it open on its own. So I do not have to open myself. After a few seconds, I realize as much as dread it I must open it myself. I take a deep breath and place a hand on the cold metal knob. It is weirdly comforting to hold, it gives me something to steady myself. Slowly I turn it and open myself to the world.
I walk down the stone stairs to the cobbled path below. I walk slowly taking in the serenity of the morning. The soft wind brushing the tall grass, Tthe roses blooming and the shining sun. It is a beautiful day a day that my parents I would have gone on a walk. I try and push that thought aside and started looking around to distract my mind. Suddenly I notice Maddox off the path down near a merchants shop. ‘I wonder what he is doing there?’ I wondered. Not wanting to be left without an answer or the perfect distraction I walk over to him.
“Maddox Hi there!” I said greeting him with a wave. Maddox looks at me with the same smile which is always plastered on his face. Only this time his eyes look not just right as if a stranger was looking at me. The typical emotion they held was gone washed away and replaced with nothing.
"Hi, Noel," he says as he leans on the merchant’s shop almost impatiently.“What are your plans today Maddox?” I ask trying to spark a conversation. Talking always help especially on a day that I do not want to be left alone with my mind.
"Just going to be around the village but I can guess where you are going," He says sorrily.
I drop my gaze choosing to stare at the ground rather than my love. “Yes, the ..hill,” I say softly. He moves to me and I can feel his gaze on me I look up to see his eyes full of pity. I swallow my grief down thickly to let myself steady. Once I collected myself I look at him" I’m going to head up now. I’ll see you around Maddox" I say as I smile and walk to the path to the hill.
I walk for about 30 minutes. I take much longer than was really needed. I spent time looking at the flowers and stopping to look at the sky and sometimes just stood and thought. Thought about my parents, thought about the people who did it, thought about never saying goodbye, thought about how much I wish I can say I love you to them.
At last, I reach their graves placed at the top of the hill. Looking over an enchanting crystal blue lake with emerald grass that sways with the wind and trees that stand high proud over it all. But at the top, it was not just the view. However, there is a large smooth stone placed on top. There grave the place where I buried them. As I reach the top I walk to the grave and fall to my knees. I trace my trembling hand over the carving and cry as I read.
-
In loving memory of Katerina and Raylyn Corin.
devoted patterns and parents
lived with nothing but love
-
As I read tears start to fall fast. I have cried so many times before that the way they sting my eyes and the taste of salt is as familiar as my breathing. The tears trail down my face as I try to speak
“I love you Mama and Father” I manage to choke out between sobs. I sit there for hours just crying and muttering I love you and I miss. When I reach the point that I am out of tears. I whipped my face and look at my parents grave while standing up shakily.
" I love and will always miss you and I will before I die revenge who did this to you" as I manage to speak those words. I start to walk back down the path. My face still wet from tears and my heart beating to fast in my chest. It feels as if someone is pounding on it with a hammer repeatedly not letting it heal. I walk down being much faster this time just one thing in my mind ‘Why?’
I wonder the questions every time I visit.’ Why did they have to die? Why did the people kill them? Why can’t I heal? Why them and not me?’. As I wonder I reach my door but as I open it I know I cannot be here. Not where I grew up with them not where all the memories are. Therefore I go to Kyla. She lives just down the street and at least there I will not be reminded.
I walk down to Kyla’s home trying to keep my mind at ease. As I reach her home I take the keys from the pot that hangs and open her door. As I open it I see the lights are off except for the one from her bedroom. I decide to enter and as I approached the bedroom calling out for her I open the bedroom door. What I see makes what was left of my heart snap.
Kyla and Maddox in bed embracing one another passionately My jaw goes slack and hot tears prick my eyes. Considering the shocked expression on there faces they were not expecting to see me. I say nothing to them I just turn on my heal and run. As I run I hear both shout out to me" Wait! Noel, we can explain!"
I run, runway from whatever they have to say. The hot tears stream down my face as I burst into my home. I rush into my room and pack clothes and blankets. Along with my daggers and quill with ink. I stuff everything into my father’s satchel not caring to take my time. Then to the kitchen, I go I pack rations and knives. The only thing I can think is get away everything else is numb as I work with haste. After packing my satchel full I run out of my house only to collide with Maddox’s chest. His hands shoot out to catch me but I recoil now wanting his touch.
“Please, Noel let me explain” he pleads. “Explain what!?” I snap back. I have the patience for many things but betrayal is not one of them. They just broke my heart. The two people in the world who I trusted the most just stabbed me in the back. Maddox drops his gaze and breathes deeply.
“You have changed” he started" Ever since your parents died you have not been yourself. You are not the same person I fell in love with. And Kyla, she noticed too and with you off on your own so often. We grew closer. I’m sorry Noel" as Maddox talks I can feel myself getting more and angrier but those last words were rich. So rich I wish he choked on them.
. “You’re sorry?” I say as bitter laughter escape my lips. Poison dripping from each word urging Maddox to answer. The confused look he gave took all my strength not to punch him" I am" Maddox says taken aback by the laughter.
I grit my teeth hard and push him out of the way but before running I turn back to him" If you were sorry you would not have done it in the first place!" I Hiss. Then turn on my heal and head toward the forest or really anywhere but hear. As I run I leave behind a baffled Maddox, probably confused Kyla but most important my home. The one place I knew I’m leaving. As I run I reach the edge of the forest and sprint through it. Over logs and branches, Over creeks and rocks. I feel the cool wind on my face and as I ran the breeze cools my temper.
One person looking out
I have ran, ran for hours never looking back. I will never go back to that Village nor will I ever make the mistake again to trust.
Trust what is it?
Something you give willingly but someone can as willingly break it. When you give it you give a piece of yourself. Telling the one you trust that now things are different, There is bond a sacred promise. But promises are made to be broken.
I run away, run towards, just run. As I run I see a cliff ahead not thinking I start to climb. Climb up,climb.climb,climb. To do anything but let my mind settle to do anything not to let me rest. The cliff was sharp and frail. The rock corroded and flakey but I climb.
I reach the top of the cliff as I pull myself up I sprint towards the edge almost hurling myself over before stopping. I let myself look at the land. The calm streams, brushes and trees that sway with a light wind and the certainty of the wildlife. It is infuriating,I can’t stand it. A strangled scream escapes me as I fall to my knees.“It isn’t fair…” I say to myself. “It’s not fair!” I scream now.
As I scream the ledge I kneel upon starts to crumble from my weight. Not being able to sustain me It falls away beneath me as I try to scramble to my feet with no avail. Before I could scream felt the sensation of falling. The fragments of rock fall around me as I drop. At that moment I felt peace knowing that I can finally be with my parents again. I close my eyes and an eerie calm comes over me as I feel my back slam against the ground and rocks slicing my body. As I lay there willing to die. I know I’m finally going to be able to sleep again. I feel the rocks lift up of me and then suddenly I am rising up from the ground. A warm sensation coming over me. My eyes fly open wondering if this is death. What I see looks Like an angel. She wears a long white robe with silver wrapping around her waist creating a belt of vines. Her sleaves long and flowing. I look to her face which seems to be covered with long brown hair not letting me see her. Her arms are outstretched some light coming from her hands flow out and immerse me. The angle seems to be healing me. Suddenly the warm sensation dispensers and I find myself on the ground standing on my feet. I womble getting my balance back and stand to manage to stand still. I look at the enity in front of me not knowing who she is. I stare at her in disbelief. I shake my head thinking it is just my mind playing tricks but she is still there. “W-who are you?” I ask my voice as small as a child’s. The entity pushes the hair from her face and pulls up a hood before answering me.
“I am your Goddess I am the one who looks out for you the one who helps you find who you are meant to be” She answers her voice seeming to carry with the wind. I look at her again this time with rage. “If you are my Godness where were you when my parents died? where were you when I was alone? Where were you when I was in pain? Where were you when I was betrayed by the ones I thought loved me? Where where you!” I finish demanding an answer.
The Godneses walks forward reaching a hand out to comfort me I swipe it away there is no way she is touching me. The Goddess sighs and drops her hand. “Noel…I was there I just could not help. I wanted to. I did what I could but there are things that are out of my control, Things that need to happen” Each word out of this women’s mouth makes me want to strangle her. I can feel the heat creep up my neck with the ferocity of my anger. I bare my teeth as I scream " Liking Killing my parents!“. The Goddess bows her head guilty” I’m sorry Noel-" She starts but I quickly cut her off. “You are sorry! Then bring them back! If your a God just snap your fingers and bring them!” I scream.
How dare she say sorry she probably had a hand in this. in all of this. As I look at this Goddesses ashamed and riddle in guilt I just have one thing to say to her
" Is my life a game to you? is my life just something to toy with to you?" .
The Goddesses head shoots up and she rushes towards me her arms outreached. “No! No! Noel, I love you. I spared your parents for as long as I could. I saved you from the rainstorm that night. And for your friends, I have no control over them. Noel your life is important to me” The Goddesses says her words filled with love and as I look I see that behind the hood she is crying. Tears fall on to her cloak gown. I stare at her questioning not that she is a Goddesses but if she is my Godness.
“Noel…I know you do not trust but I trust you with our life” The Goddesses says truthfully. I blink confused by what she means. "I trust you. I will help you and I believe in you " The Goddesses explains. I ponder what she just said .‘she trusts me? Does she believe in me? I have not heard those words in years’ I think to myself. I back away from the Goddess and let her presence and words sink in. As I stand there the Goddesses lifts her head and starts to glow." if you need me let me know. Never forget I believe in you Noel. I trust you" The Goddesses says to me as she starts to vanish into the air. I stand there in a state of shock not fully comprehending what just happened. I stand there for a moment until collecting myself or as best I could. Before I started heading off I look to the sky and say" If that’s true prove it."