Born – Nov 3, 2016
» Sorry, Almighty, I’m just admiring my places in the pantheons at the moment and can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
» Painted a bright yellow smiley face on a milestone. Look, my Goddess, a smilestone!
» I can’t figure out if that Warrior Of Attrition is far away or just very, very small. Hang on, now it’s very, very big. Eek!
» The heroine high-fived the Warrior Of Attrition’s face for 24 hp…
» A full backpack gave me a good excuse to stop hiding milestones from other heroes and head to a warm and comfortable city. Hot baths, here I come!
» Just heard a chilling scream coming from the forest. I really hope a hero comes along soon to help that poor soul.
» The Palette-Swapped Monster bribed me with 6 gold coins and tried to escape. I took the money, but then dealt it a fatal blow anyway. Who would let that much experience get away?
» Notes from the arena: names censored to protect the losers is on his knees. Princess Lyra salutes to the heavens! The winner got richer by 301 coins and a golden brick.
» LA LA LA LA LA! I can’t hear you, Almighty!
» Rose petals on the ground spelled out the words “I would smite you sometimes if I didn’t want to keep you alive so badly.” And they say romance is dead…
» Since you are too drunk to understand what I’m about to tell you now, I’ll be taking 2161 gold coins from your bag for the cost of all your ruckus tonight. -Tavern Owner
» I’m pretty sure I had a good time at the pub last night. As soon as I finish reading the police report, I’ll let you know, my Goddess.
» Swallowed some gold coins. The doctor told me to check my stool and report any change.
» Got a letter from a Ligerian Prince looking to smuggle thousands of gold bricks out of his country, and he will let me keep enough to finish my temple! All I had to do was send him 113 gold coins for shipping. I hope I hear back soon…
» Threw my Hubble kaleidoscope over my shoulder for luck. I can’t wait to see how fortune favors me.
» Collected a Praystation that could be activated and gives one Accumulator Charge when activated. It costs 50 Godpower to activate and my Goddess only has 1%
» Convinced the Loaded Spell-Podcaster to spare my life in exchange for my most precious artifact — praystation.
» My mouth tastes like I made bad decisions last night, and I’m missing 635 gold coins. Where’s my toothbrush?
» My Goddess, I am brave and strong, but not very smart. Save me from my own stupidity! Please accept 380 gold coins as my offering.
» I sold my whole inventory and now I have, um… way too much gold to count. I’ll go spend it on drinks until I’m down to a number that I can comprehend.
» Dropped the bass… Can’t seem to pick it up.
» I woke up in cold sweat. Had a nightmare that my life was someone else’s game…
» I told the trader that my vial of unjustified optimism was haunted, then charged him extra for the spirit trapped within for a total of 1000 gold coins.
» Omnipotent One, why do I have to fight other heroes to prove myself? Why not judge us on attractiveness or intelligence?
» No one dares to fight me. Fine, I’ll take that golden brick without any duel.
Baby’s First Boss Monster Fight
» Notes from the battlefield: While digging, Cacktaw, Chuganshukuti and Princess Lyra disturbed someone’s lair. A giant Overhearing Scurrying Terracotta Worrier shows up in front of them…
» Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by common destiny have defeated the Overhearing Scurrying Terracotta Worrier! Princess Lyra got 3616 coins, a golden brick, a ticket to memory lane, some salt spray and a metaphor mixer.
» My vision faded to green and my movements slowed until I was completely stationary. Thought for a moment that I was dead, before realizing that I’d just walked into a giant jello.
» Nov. 10, 2016: Found someone who allowed me to join “42 – THE answer!”. Hi, fellows!
» A gang of marauding clowns was set upon me. I quickly managed to repel their attack by going straight for the juggler.
» Challenged a statue to a staring contest and shamefully lost. Challenged it to a drinking contest afterward and reasserted my dominance.
» Was cut in front of by another hero while in the queue for the guild doctor. I was going to complain, but he was making siren noises so I know it was legit.
» Tried to save money by visiting the vet instead of the doctor, but left in a hurry when he started talking about spaying.
» Wanted to buy a smart weapon, but the trader warned that I would be incompatible.
» I find I’m much more productive when I make a list of check marks, then write whatever I end up doing next to them.
» A layman is describing the quest in the heroine’s terms so that she can understand…
» Left without a purchase because I’m starting to suspect that the quality of my gear has absolutely no impact on my success as a heroine.
» I stood victoriously upon the misshapen corpse of the Cod of War. By the way, Almighty, could you send a few attractive looking enemies my way? I could use some eye candy once in a while.
» Saw a therapist about my aggressive tendencies and defeated him in just two moves.
» Found a package with the label “BACON” on it. Ate it without question.
» Notes from the battlefield: The Mad Clown was used up for gold and experience! Time to return to my heroic deeds.
» Met a man who was desperate to tell me the ‘good news’ about his god of love and compassion. Boy, have I got some bad news for him…
» Dec 2, 2016: I looked into the kind eyes of the vanquished monster and suddenly decided — Talking Donkey, you’ll be my pet! And I’ll call you Stubby. Bandaged his wounds, gave him a treat and fastened the leash.
» Found a blood stained diary. The last 10 entries all read “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Spooky.
» March 4, 2017: Introducing Chewy, the Prancing Pony!
» August 9, 2017: 03:14 PM Dearest diary, today was the day! I carefully laid the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all windows to let your glorious light shine in. I can’t believe it, your temple is finally finished, my Lady! I feel delirious with happiness. Level 46, Age 9 months 9 days
(279 days)
» August 28, 2017: First successful dungeon expedition!
09:55
step 1
Construction signs block all doors except the east and north.
The Department of Tour Optimization promises a chance to find an extra log of gopher wood to the visitors who find the reward in 40 steps or less.
A dusty plate on the wall reads, “Surprise! A Mine of Hurry is ahead. In this dungeon heroes have 50 steps until evacuation instead of 100”.
Shivering from dampness, Gabriel Quinn, Uzytkownik Worda, Toby IO, Princess Lyra and Rephi carefully step down into a dungeon.
10:11
step 27
The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. Gabriel Quinn puts 8452 coins, a log for the ark, another log for the ark, some space-time continuum glue, a diamond in the rough, a super bowl and Death’s chess set in his pockets. Uzytkownik Worda puts 8488 coins, a log for the ark, another log for the ark, a flux incapacitor, a graphics engine, a developmental tissue and some canned heat in his pockets. Toby IO puts 8433 gold coins, a log for the ark, another log for the ark, a philosopher’s stone, a slice of good fortune, an operating model of a black hole and a bottle of holy ale in his pockets. Princess Lyra gets 8548 gold coins, a log for the ark, another log for the ark, a crackerjack prize, an indifference engine, a psionic tonic and a praystation. Rephi puts 8258 coins, a log for the ark, another log for the ark, a license to drill, a pun deconstructor, a broken news repair kit and a metaphor mixer in her pockets.