Godville

So, Kyrin and I have been talking, and we somehow came up with this ingenious idea cough to have a little badge for us ideaboxers! These are meant to represent our interest in the ideabox and the fun we have doing everything ideas related :) I put one of these icons- □ or ✔ -in my motto, but of course it’s personal choice whether you’d like to put them in your motto, chronicles, GodWiki, or whether you’d keep them at all! Just know that this is an invitation for every enthusiastic ideaboxer in Godville and essentially just a spot of fun!
So here are your badges, fellow ideaboxers! □ ✔
Please pass them on to anyone you know who deserves them too ^^ —Blue Panda

The Chronicles of Goutami7 and her siblings

-

1. Misery--

The Terracotta Worrier slashed.
Misery- reeled back in terror, clutching his wounded stomach. Blood was flooding out of the gash, colouring his armour deep crimson. He groaned and slumped to the ground, closing his eyes. He had given up. Through his half closed eyes, he watched his ally weaving and ducking around the Terracotta worrier’s blows. She’d have to be at least level fifty… maybe sixty. He cringed as the boss swung, getting ready to club her over the head with a huge fist. The heroine remained unfazed as a continuous stream of lightning struck the Terracotta worrier, leaving “∞ I ain’t no superstar! ✔” seared into its back. Damn, she was good. Maybe she’d leave him some coins out of pity when he inevitably got defeated.
He lay on the ground, face up, and which a jolt, noticed a face in the clouds. As he strained to see what it looked like, the face whispered to him, “Don’t lose interest now, hero! Drink the potion in your pocket!” Like a miracle, he felt something smooth, cool and round in his pocket. Reaching in, he pulled out a vial of optimism, and drank it in one mouthful. His wound closed over in seconds, and he found just enough energy to get up on his feet, albeit with a few wobbles.
The allies fought on, and it was clear the Terracotta Worrier was losing strength.
Nearing the end of the battle, all three combatants were sweating and wheezing for breath, yet they soldiered on. The Terracotta Worrier lunged for the philosopher’s stone in Misery-‘s backpack while the hero’s back was turned. Misery-, incensed, ran headfirst at the boss with a wild cry. The heroine only had time to yell “Don’t!” in an attempt to stop him, but it was too late. The Terracotta Worrier, grinning maliciously, wound up its fist and delivered a sucker punch timed to perfection. It knocked Misery- off his feet and all but one of his health points out of his health bar.
Misery- has been defeated.

Misery- gained consciousness hours later, under the shade of a large oak tree, the leaves providing shade from the afternoon sun. He was pleasantly surprised to see a leather money bag lying beside him. In a daze, he began counting the gold, one by one. They totalled 4478 gold coins, and there was even a golden brick! This was way more than he deserved. He tipped the bag upside down and a crumpled scrap of parchment fell out of it.
Get well soon! <3
…was written on it in beautiful calligraphic script. And on the flipside:
Kind regards, from Goutami7
Goutami7… Goutami7… the name sounded oddly familiar, though he had never heard of anything like it. Either way, he knew he had to find her and thank her. But first, he would go place the brick on his temple site before he somehow managed to lose it.

Entering the gates of Godville City, Misery- saw the prophet of one the big guilds sitting in one of the fountains. Children ran by with their play weapons, laughing and chanting “Liar, liar, pants on fire!” Brochures were flying around, and Misery- jumped to pluck one out of the air. The heading read:
“Slaves to Armok: Non combustible attire guaranteed!”
Ah, the guild popularity campaigns were rampant as always. A group of spectators had gathered in the town square, listening to a heroine with raven black hair talking about non-flammable Icarus rockets. “Hey!” Misery- shouted, recognising her. She made eye contact and waved enthusiastically back. Prematurely cutting off her speech with a cry of “Power to the Slaves!” she jumped down from the statue of a Godville Administrator she had been making her speech from.
“Hey there!” she greeted him, “Great to see you’re still alive! Or did you die?”
Misery- gave her a sheepish smile, “I barely survived.”
“Are you here to enjoy the taverns?” She grinned. Her smile was actually white! Misery- couldn’t remember the last time he even had a full set of teeth, let alone a brilliant smile.
“Well, actually, I’m here to lay my brick down,” – Goutami7 grinned wider – “and also to thank you for it.”
The heroine ruffled Misery-‘s hair good-naturedly. “Aww! No worries, kid!” she beamed, “You deserve it!”
“Really? But you did most of the work!” he replied, astonished, but she brushed him off, saying it was no big deal.
“By the way, what’s your name, kid?” Goutami7 asked.
“Misery-.”
“Hmm, sounds familiar…” she muttered. “Oops! I gotta go; my goddess is miracling today.” And with a fleeting wave, she ran off to help the citizens of Godville clean up the latest wave of pink feather boas.

Later that day, Misery- was fighting a Godville outside the gates of Godville city. His health bar was, as always, in the red, and beeping incessantly in his ear. With a final slice of his weapon, the Godvilla’s stomach split open and Misery- picked up the 2 coins inside.
“Great.” He thought grimly. “Ninety five percent of my health bar is worth two coins.” As he pocketed the gold, he heard a soft thud nearby, then the soft whinnying of a horse. Rushing to the site, he was horrified to find Goutami7’s corpse lying on the road, her hand not yet cold. After consoling Pinky, Misery- checked desperately for signs of life, even though he knew there would be none. How did CPR go again? Was he allowed to do that on females? Did it work on Thursdays? A thousand thoughts flew through his head.
“Looking for someone?” The sudden voice made Misery- start, and he looked behind him to find Goutami7.
“B-but…” he stammered, looking from the live heroine to her corpse and back. “You were dead!”
Goutami7 laughed cheerily. “Correction – I’m a martyr.”
“What? How? Why?” Misery- was perplexed. “Isn’t death a bad thing?”
“Yeah, usually. But if I die a few more times, I’ll get a shiny red medal for it!” Goutami7 flashed her badge. It was gold, and engraved with the image of what appeared to be an angel. Or a dove. Misery- couldn’t quite make it out.
“A red one like that?” Misery- stared in awe. “Red’s my favourite colour!”
“Hey Misery-… have you ever considered getting one?” Goutami7 suggested.
“You mean I could get one like that too?” the hero gasped.
“Of course!” The heroine mounted her Trojan horse, pleased her suggestion was taken into account. “If there’s something we heroes can always count on, it’s death, right?” she smiled kindly from atop her pet. “I should be off now before my goddess tries to kill me again. I want to gather enough money to go to ‘Boatmurdered’ tonight. Bye Misery-!”
Misery- just gazed absently, thinking of a shiny red medal. The heroine hadn’t gone for 30 seconds before lightning struck her and her pet, electrocuting them both. Misery- broke out of his reverie and shook his head in amusement.
Wondering aloud, he muttered to himself, “She’s probably died more in one day than I have since level one.”
A face appeared above Misery- in the clouds and chuckled. “Well, she is your sister after all.” Blemish- said from above.
“She’s my what?”
“Oops, did I forget to mention that?” The face smirked and vanished with a puff.

A few weeks later, Misery- discovered a boss lair on the outskirts of Herowin.
“Hey, Goutami7!” Misery- called, smiles lighting up both their faces. “Hey, little brother!” The heroine called back. “Are you ready to kick some monster butt?”
“You know it! Also, I died four times this week – a new record for me!”
“Are you serious? You’re gonna have your shiny medal in no time.” She ruffled his hair. “Look out! Here comes beastie!”

19:07 During the excavation Goutami7 and Misery- disturbed someone’s lair. A giant Pickpocketing Alpacalypse shows up in front of them…

Misery- and Goutami7 raised their blazing weapons in the air, and shouting war cries, charged into the battle, side by side.

2. Azorium (To be released by

3. Seroxytocine (To be released by

One day (sometime after Friday, 13th July, 2012), Blue Panda discovered the Ideabox…

… and never left the Enhancement Room again.

Among her many suggestions for new game content, (which may be updated soon) these few were surprisingly approved (much to the excitement of the heroine and her goddess):

• My excavations opened up an underground chamber full of gold and treasures. Do these belong to anyone? Or rather, anything?

• Passed a huge pile of rocks. That’s strange. There used to be a sign there: “Beware of falling rocks”.

• Found %random_friend% and %random_monster% bickering about who got to keep %artifact%. Gave them mine so that they’d each have one.

• As soon as the traveling monks found out that I was a follower of the %rg%, they showered me with flower petals and praises. Are you proud, %rg%? I smell nice for once!

• The %monster% assured me that all my money and artifacts would be given to young %monster%s beginning their worldly adventures. Now I can die in peace… I think.

• The arena receptionist passed me %artifact%, %artifact% and %artifact%, “from an adoring fan”. Okay, maybe those weren’t the exact words she used, but I’m sure it’s what she really meant.

• Greeted the %monster% with the line: “Welcome to a whole new world of pain!” Been practicing it for weeks. It sounded more evil in my head.

• The pain! The agony! The injustice! My sensitive skin can’t take much more of this torture. %rg%, please don’t ever give me another blister!

• As blood started spurting from my wounds, the %monster%’s face went pale and it stammered, “B-b-b… blood!?” before fainting. Tried not to bleed on its corpse as I took %gold%.

• %boss% throws a tantrum, and in his rage, tears the %artifact_base% to shreds. Temper, temper, %boss%!

• %boss% pounds its fists on the roof of the cave, causing stalactites to fall on the heroes, who dodge gracefully. Everyone except %defender%.

• %attacker% winks at the skies and strikes instead of healing. Pre-planned tactics between hero{|ine} and god{|||dess}? Or just disobedience at its finest?

• %boss% offers a short prayer to the monster god, sacrificing %gold% in its deity’s honour.

• %boss% writes “%boss_motto%” on the cavern walls… in %defender%’s fresh blood.

• Midfight, a mole pops out of the ground handing %gold% of “protection money” to the %boss%. %boss% adds it to the treasury.

• %attacker%‘s weapon narrowly missed its mark and sliced off the hair on %defender%’s chinny-chin-chin. Talk about a close shave.

• %boss% mutters an evil incantation to the skies, hoping to summon acid rain. Instead, %gold% fall pitter patter from above.

• %boss% throws %gold% into the air like confetti, where they explode into shimmering golden fireworks. The heroes are not impressed with the cost of those special effects.

• %pet_name% and I found a photo booth costing 1 coin per snap. We must have got kind of carried away, because I ended up spending %gold% on photos. Hah! Look at %pet_name%’s face in this one! Classic!

• Complimented the %monster% on its ferocious fighting style. It countered with a shout of “Enough chit-chat!” and an uppercut to my jaw. Excuse me for being polite!

• Checked to make sure I had remembered to bring a large trout.

• “I am an artist! I can’t work under these conditions!”…

• Running hysterically from an avalanche {|s}he set off h{im|er}self…

• Chasing %pet_name% as he flees from his bath…

• Avoiding nonplayable characters known to give tedious side quests…

• Through the lengthy dialogue and repetitive storyline…

• Strapped a laser pointer onto %pet_name%’s head, then sat back to watch the ensuing mayhem.

• Confidently announced to the pub that I put the “pro” in “professional”. Added that I wasn’t sure who put the “fessional” in, but it was probably someone else from “%hero_guild%”.

• I caught sight of a mesmerisingly {beautiful|handsome} hero{ine|}. Our eyes locked and {s|}he smiled as h{er|is} hair {swayed|ruffled} in the breeze. I think I was falling in love. Then %random_friend% came crashing through the underbrush screaming something about a %random_monster%. Moment over.

• Just watched %pet_name% choking on peanut. I didn’t know we had peanuts! Why didn’t he give me any?

• %attacker% tries hard to think of a fancy new move before the next step loads. Failing to do so in time, {|s}he opts for the standard diagonal swipe with h{is|er} weapon. (duel)

• Hurled tomatoes at duelers. Ran from the angry trader supervising the tomato cart.

• Argued with a security guard about my right to set up bear traps in order to capture an opponent.

• Hmm… Maybe I should look for opponents above the benches too…

• I loudly announced that %hero_name% had entered the building and someone should fight {him|her} now. Also that {he|she} was getting so bored that {he|she} had resorted to talking in third person.

• I boasted that my god{|||dess} could do a punish and an encourage in the same step. Even though everyone claims they don’t believe me, I don’t see anyone stepping up to challenge me!

• Aaaaaaand it’s a beautiful day here at the Godville Arena. Weapons have been sharpened, sunlight is glinting off armour, and fighters are rearing to go! Err… Scratch that last bit.

• Played hide and seek with %pet_name% while we waited. It would’ve been so much more enjoyable if we knew more hiding spots than “under the benches”.

• Ran full speed through a furious gladiator battle. Oh darn, I forgot to remove my armour. I’m doing this “streaking” thing all wrong.

• Had a heated argument with my opponent (which I very nearly lost), then engaged in a sword fight in which I managed to strike the enemy a few times around the middle. Then I thanked the structural pillar for the practice and bowed to it respectfully. (big thanks to the corrector for this one, I love your correction tonnes and wish I had kept a copy)

• Asked the judges to skew the results of my upcoming duel for the small price of %gold%. They told me they’d skewer me with my own weapon if I didn’t stop bothering them.

• Hid under the benches as a fierce looking hero{|ine} passed by. Wow, it’s… it’s kind of cosy down here. Do I smell gum?

• Got a bit over enthusiastic with my warm up stretches as a good looking hero{ine|} passed by. Pulled my hamstring.

• I rolled the %monster%’s %random_artifact% down a hill and fled while it was running after its loot. That should roll all the way to %some_territory%, giving me plenty of time to gain some ground.

• Got a little over-playful while frolicking in a flower garden. Let’s pretend those flowers were trampled when I got here.

• Drawn by the sound of voices, the smell of beer and the promise of company, I somehow located and crawled through the %current_town% gates.

• Crept up to my %pet_class% and smoothly mounted him in one leap. All I need now is a sunset.

• Summoned forth all my pent up rage, then, while shouting “%motto%”, I struck a nearby tree with a resounding blow. That good-for-nothing piece of wood had it coming.

• I’m done being hurt by you, %monster%. Adios! I hope karma gives you everything it owes you.

• I’ll admit I exaggerated the severity those last few wounds. They were more like scratches, really.

• The side effects of death are a risk I’m willing to take if it means I’ll get resurrected in a city. And consequently near a tavern.

• Gee, I’d love to stick around, %monster%, but I simply haven’t got a thing to wear to my funeral.

• The %monster% made a nasty comment about my prowess with the %hero_random_equipmemt%. I retaliated by beating the beast over the head with it.

• Step one: get quest. Step two: attempt to %quest%. Step three: give up and cry. I can’t do this anymore! I quit!

• I tied a friendship bracelet around my wrist, and fastened another around %pet_name%’s leg. Though we may never meet again, now we can be friends until the end of time. Bye bye, %pet_name%!

• %pet_name% wants to explore the mysterious realms beyond the roads we have traversed. This is where our paths must split, then. Bon voyage, noble %pet_class%. Send me a postcard!

• Since my extraordinarily unhelpful god{|||dess} refuses to heal me, once again, I’ll have to do all the hard work myself.

• I’d feel so much more obliged to die if I didn’t have quite so much beer money at the moment.

• The barkeep at %some_tavern% yelled, “First round’s on the house!” Just as I finished clearing my loot bag. Duty calls!

• Laugh at me now, %monster%, but when I invent time travel, I’m going to come back and slap you silly.

• The streets were rife with fear. Women and children retreated into their homes and closed the shutters. Men readied their torches and pitchforks. Yes, %hero_name% had arrived at the gates of %current_town%.

• The %monster% was slain with a stab so deep, leaving me %artifact_base% and %gold% to keep. %hero_name%’s armor shone bright and silver… err, what rhymes with silver?

• Defeat is what you get for being such a bully, %monster%. And I’ll be taking that %artifact_base% and %gold% of stolen lunch money back.

• Hello, %current_town%! Hello, doctors! Hello, civilization… and hello, %some_tavern%!

• Oh, do stop whispering sweet nothings in my ear, %rg%. (blank god voice)
• Here we are, %pet_name%: %current_town%. The centre of the world; The hub of the universe; The best place to get beer for milestones around!

• Approaching nirvana…

• Sweeping %monster% strikes the ground, creating a magnitude 9 earthquake. The heroes totter on their feet and come crashing down. (duel: sweeping monster ability)

• Sweeping %monster% wields a broom and starts sweeping the leaves off the temporary battle field. The heroes look on in bemused astonishment. (duel: sweeping monster miss)

• %monster% be nimble, %monster% be quick. %monster% give %defender% one extra kick! (duel: nimble monster ability)

• Nimble %monster% makes a fresh pot of coffee, reapplies some stage make-up, and knits a scarf before striking %defender% once more just as {he||she} was getting back on {his||her} feet. (duel: nimble monster ability)

• Nimble %monster% literally runs circles around the opposition, creating a low pressure vortex. %defender% suffers from severe motion sickness. (duel: nimble monster ability)

• What speed! What agility! What utter disregard for the laws of physics! Nimble %monster% weaves, twists, and gives %defender% a solid kick to the shins. (duel: nimble monster ability)

• The %monster% is pure speed. It’s made of adrenalin. It cannot be stopped. It’s also too busy showing off its unparalleled speed to remember to attack. (duel: nimble monster miss)

• %attacker_god%’s megaphone appears above the duelers, blaring the words “%god_phrase%”. (duel: sent voice)

• “%god_phrase%”! Jinx, %rg%! You owe me a soda! (ignoring the god voice)

• The %monster% ascended to heaven. Or rather, attempted to, before a stray lightning bolt sent it descending to hell. (miracle that kills monster)

• %pet_name%’s teeth suddenly glowed and he bit the %monster%, shaking it like a stuffed toy. The %monster% disintegrated into shredded strips of cloth and balls of fluff. Now I know what happened to the last stuffed toy I gave to %pet_name%. (miracle that kills monster)

• Drinks were on sale today. I bought five before I realised they were healing potions, not beer. (buying healing items)

• A cloud of smoke drifted by with absolutely no words in it. Strangest thing ever.

• My fluency in Morse code finally came in handy! I listened to the rhythmic clanging noises coming from the blacksmith’s hut and decoded the words: “%god_phrase%”. (voice from other god)

• Oh no, %rg%. Send me back! I left my beer money in the afterlife! (upon resurrection)

• A concentrated wave of heat descended on the %monster%, instantly grilling it on the spot. Chow time, %pet_name%! Come get it while it’s hot! (miracle that kills monster)

• It was my %pet_class%’s idea to %quest%, anyway. This is why I call the shots around here, %pet_name%. I know what the %rg% really wants. (quest cancellation)

• Sizzling, crackling and spitting violently, my aura of %aura% exploded around me and terminated with an ear-splitting “Bang!” (aura expiration)

• A small pixie yelled “Hey, listen!” But when I did, all it said was, “%god_phrase%”. Now I remember why I never listened to them before. (god voice)

• Accidentally said “%god_phrase%” to the merchant’s {daughter|son}. Why is it I can never remember the right pick up line? (voice from other god)

• A mystery admirer bought me a glass of beer at the pub. After immediately skulling it, I noticed “Would you %quest% for me?” engraved in tiny script on the bottom of the glass. Oh, the trials and tribulations I must endure for my fans! (upon receiving a new quest)

• Delved my hand into the guts of the dead %monster% and withdrew %gold%. I hope that’s enough to buy sanitiser at the next town. (killing a monster)

• Weapons at the ready, %pet_name%. Here comes a %monster%. Yes, yes. Claws will do just as fine, too. (meeting a strong monster)

• I’m having so much fun laying here, pretending to be dead, that I think I’ll go the whole way. (response to “die” god voice)

• %random_friend% and I thought up an ingenious plan to make our praying more productive. We each press one of our hands together, which frees up the other hand for objects such as beer glasses. Praising has never been more enjoyable! (while praying)

• Smoking is really injurious to my health. Especially when it’s preceded by lightning. (punish response)

• As I plunged my shovel into the ground, the floor caved in and I dropped into a menacing abyss. I hope I can get out of here in time… (dig trigger)

• Went to the animal clinic to get my dearly loved %pet_class% restored to factory settings. See, %pet_name%? Vet’s aren’t so bad after all! I paid the good man %gold% for this invaluable service. (pet rez)

• It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single {|wo}man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a beer! (while resting)

• Lightning struck behind me as the skies flashed. I engaged my “menacing-evil-genius laugh” just in time. Intimidating, but utterly useless. (punish misfire)

• I was completely fine with just moving on and letting this %monster% be, but I heard it insulting my hairdo. Now it’s personal! (meeting a strong monster; good personalities only)

• You might have seen a fruit fly, maybe even a house fly! But I bet you ain’t ever seen a %hero_name% fly! This %hero_random_skill% is really something! (use of travel skill)

• No hablo inglés, señor{|||ita}. (ignoring the god voice)

• The %monster% pleaded me to take its body back to its family at milestone 799. That’s a bit too far away, but I could take its %gold% to the tavern… (defeating the monster)

• Dug out a sign saying “Keep Out!” Continuing, I unearthed another sign saying “Stay Away!” I finally started to get a little scared when I uncovered a third sign saying “Turn back while you can!” What’s down there? (dig trigger)

• Die? And ruin a perfectly good day? (response to ‘die’ god voice)

• There goes a hero with his %random_monster% on a leash. There could be nothing sadder. Except maybe the matching outfits.

• Yes, %pet_name%? What is it, boy? Is it trouble, boy? Is someone hurt? Is there a %random_monster% nearby? Well? WHAT IS IT!?

• Spent hours engraving some gibberish on a stone tablet, then waited in a tree to drop it in front of an unsuspecting hero. Oh, you should have seen the baffled expression on his face, %rg%! Totally worth the effort.

• Ouch! Surely my {Lord|||Lady} did not mean to send a lightning bolt! Surely {he|||she} did not mean to hurt me? Surely {he|||she} meant to send a lightning beam, or a lightning massage even? (punish response; good personalities only)

• Jumped off a cliff in the hopes of falling to my death in the foamy waves below. Somehow placed first in a diving competition with a triple backspin and I won %gold% instead. What a disappointment. (response to ‘die’ god voice)

• %pet_name%! Make haste! Make haste! %some_tavern% is not going to stay open forever! (while returning to town)

• The clouds formed the shape of a{ strikingly handsome|||n exquisitely beautiful} face, which blew a cool breath of air over me. %rg%, get your head out of the clouds and heal me properly, will you? (encourage misfire)

• It’s good that we have these little discussions, %rg%. (ignoring the god voice)

• No way, %rg%. Last time I died, there was no beer for hours. (response to ‘die’ god voice)

• My %pet_class% is such a terrifying force of nature. Look at my brute, mauling that impressive %random_monster%- oh, wait! %pet_name%, stop! %random_friend% is NOT a chew toy!

• Who wants a hug? Somebody? Anybody? Nobody? Guess I’ll just hug myself then!

• %random_friend% taught me a special skill that {he||she} said no one else knows, called “%hero_random_skill%” and swore me to secrecy. I’m not entirely sure what “secrecy” means, but I can’t wait to show everyone at the tavern! (upon learning a new skill)

• Wow, new eyebrows? These usually take months to grow back! Thanks, %rg%! (encourage response)

• You… You healed me? That must mean you’re in a good mood today. Is something the matter? (encourage response; evil personalities)

• Nobody tells %hero_name% what to do. (ignoring the god voice)

• Do you know why I’m drinking beer today, %rg%? Well I’ll tell you! I have nothing to celebrate. For the 100th day in a row! (spending gold in town)

• The merchant’s {daughter|son} followed me around the whole shop today! Unfortunately, {s|}he was spraying everything I touched with disinfectant, but it’s a start, right? (while trading)

• Oh, come on, %rg%! That was weak! I’ve touched lightning bugs that zap harder than that! (punish misfire)

• Finished my quest to %quest%! Buried a cheat sheet about how I did it under a tree for safe keeping just in case I have to do it again. (upon completing quest)

• Yes, my god{|||ess}. This %pet_class% has been following me around for a while now. I’m glad you finally noticed. (response to ‘pet’ god voice)

• Woah, hold it right there, %rg%. That’s crazy talk. (ignoring the god voice)

• A little pink cloud descended in front of me. I reached out to touch it and withdrew a handful of cotton candy! Spent the next few minutes in utter bliss. Yum yum! (encourage response)

• No way, %rg%. Don’t you remember the last time you persuaded me to do that? My eyebrows are still growing back! (ignoring the god voice)

• “%god_name% doesn’t exist!” screamed the %monster%. “%monster%s don’t exist!” I screamed back, as it burst into colourful flames. Perfect timing on that assist, %rg%! (miracle that kills monster)

• I refuse to do anything you want, %rg%, until you agree to fist-bump me after my three-in-a-row kill streaks. (ignoring the god voice)

• In a brilliant display of speed, agility and unparalleled foresight, %hero_name% escapes the %monster%‘s cunning trap with {his|her} life. Yep. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. (fleeing the monster)

• Don’t give me that look, %rg%. There’s nothing wrong with eating pet food. A hero{|ine}’s gotta do what a hero{|ine}’s gotta do! (while traveling; low health)

• Well I’m starving again, and you know what that means: Food hallucinations. I’ll never get used to my bananas talking to me. (while traveling; low health)

• Aw yeah, full health! %hero_name% versus the world: round two! I won’t let you down, %rg%! (miracle full heal)

• Careful, %pet_name%, we’re entering %monster% territory. A %monster% could be anywhere, even right behind- AHHHHHHH! (meeting a strong monster)

• Warned %random_friend% not to go into the dark-looking cave, but {he||she} went anyway. Brave %random_friend%. Brave, stupid %random_friend%. (while traveling)

• The residents in %current_town% are circulating a petition asking me to be kicked out, which lists all the annoying things I do. I know because I stole it.

• Summoning %monster% shouted a battle cry. Instead of the large army of fierce warriors it expected to show up, a single mini-%monster% soldier reported for duty. (duel: summoning monster ability)

• %monster% underwent rapid binary fission and created a smaller but equally ferocious and deadly version of itself: the mini-%monster%. (duel: summoning monster ability)

• The squandering %monster% taught %defending_hero% how to say the names of {his||her} items in the %monster%’s native language. The %artifact% was lost in translation. (duel: squandering monster ability)

• Auriferous %monster% tried to attack, but did a “smelt” instead of a “smite”, unwittingly creating some gold from %defending_hero%’s blood. (duel: auriferous monster ability)

• Straw from a nearby farmer’s cart was swiftly spun into gold by the Auriferous %monster%. (duel: auriferous monster ability)

• Under Law 14 of the Monsters’ Constitution, the Pickpocketing %monster% confiscated the %artifact% on account of it being a violation of subsection 7H. (duel: pickpocketing monster ability)

• Strode into the bank confidently and announced to the teller that I would be depositing %gold%. I heard a few people sniggering before the teller replied with an amused expression, “Is that really ALL you have?” (savings entry)

• Tied one end of a rope around my waist, the other around %pet_name%, threw my %artifact% into the distance, yelled “fetch!” and held on for dear life. (response to ‘quest faster’ god voice)

• Aw, do I have to? I don’t even wanna %quest%! (response to ‘quest faster’ god voice)

• %random_friend% and I both wanted to buy the %hero_equipment%, so the trader auctioned it. After a fierce and stressful hour, the price soared to %gold% and I emerged as the winner! Aren’t you proud of me, %rg%? (buying new equipment)

• I’ve battled stronger monsters than this %monster%, but this one is by far the strongest. (meeting a strong monster)

• Asked %pet_name% if he had any tips on how to %quest%. He showed me how to wander aimlessly through dense forest. Spent an hour so finding my way back onto the road. (response to quest faster god voice)

• Dreamt that I was hugging and kissing the trader’s {daughter|son}. Woke up with my arms around a very angry %pet_name%. (while sleeping)

• A red hot poker fell from the sky and branded the %monster% with the words, “Property of %god_name%”. Honestly, %rg%! Could you be any more useless? (punish misfire; while fighting a monster)

• %pet_name% took my %artifact% and laid it in front of a lady %pet_class% as a gift. Looking at how well they’re both getting along now, I’m not even mad that he took it. Just really impressed. (loss of artifact)

• The mighty {hunter|huntress} stalks {his|her} prey… {He|She} moves with the skill and prowess of an experienced predator… {He|She} singles out the weakest glass of beer… and pounces! (spending gold in town)

• Woke up in Tradeburg, with an intense hangover and missing my aura. Wait… This isn’t Tradeburg… This isn’t Tradeburg at all… (aura expiration)

• Found a blue brick in my bag in place of my praystation. Overwhelmed with annoyance, I threw it into the sky, where it disappeared. %rg%, I thought we agreed on ONE colour for the temple! (activating items that give a charge)

• Stood atop %pet_name%‘s back as he walked the milestones for me. I’m flying, %rg%! I’m flying! (pet travel entry)

• A particularly weak lightning bolt gave my heart just enough extra electricity to beat a little faster. That’s probably the most invigoration I could ask from you, right, %rg%? (punish; +health)

• With a mischievous twinkle in {her|his} eye, the trader’s {daughter|son} took the %artifact% straight out of my hand. %rg%, {s|}he touched me! {Sh|H}e really did! (while trading; loss of artifact)

• Accidentally dropped my invite to Godville into a huge lake. As I was peering in to look for it, I thought I saw a dark blue “+1” symbol in the lake’s depths. I’m never going to get that back, am I, %rg%? (activating invites)

• I opened my bag and the holy powercell floated into the air, where I watched it explode in a shower of shimmering blue confetti and glitter. %rg%, I hope that was more than just special effects… (activating items that give a charge)

• Walked into a healing ray to find a floating book had descended in front of me. In a trance, I read almost all of it before I realised it was a prayer. Oh, %rg%! You trickster, you! (encourage response; +health; +gp)

• But I thought you WANTED me to %quest%, %rg%? Honestly! There’s just no pleasing some {gods|||godesses}! (response to cancelling a quest god voice)

• I sneezed and my %aura% disappeared. Just my luck. (aura expiration)

• The doctor was running late, so %random_friend% and I discussed our ailments together. {His|Her} symptoms are so similar to mine! (while healing in town)

• I can’t function without my glasses. Especially when they’re empty. (spending in town)

• I just saved a bunch of money on my health insurance by running away from the %monster%. (fleeing the monster)

• Saw a really attractive {hero|heroine} today. Then I walked away from the well before I fell in.

• A journey of a thousand milestones begins with a drunken dare. Mine is to %quest%. (upon recieving a new quest)

• A voice in my head said, “%v%” but I ignored it. I only do what the voices in your head tell you to tell me to do. (god voice)

• Next time you resurrect me, %rg%, could you give me a little more upper body strength? And lower body strength. Also some more middle body strength while you’re at it. (upon resurrection)

• Love makes the world go round? Well, beer makes it go round twice as fast, %rg%. (spending money in town)

• Good news %rg%! I stopped drinking for a while! But then you resurrected me. (upon resurrection)

• I was debating whether my glass was half empty or half full, when I realised the bartender had cheated me. (spending money in town)

• The doctor gave me some good news. I’m going to have a new disease named after me! (while healing)

• No time to explain %rg%. (ignoring the god voice)

• I started singing with happiness because I had finally managed to %quest%. A passing trader paid me %gold% to be quiet, and when I didn’t stop, he gave me a gold brick as well. I should sing more often %rg%! (upon quest completion)

Goutami7 was exceedingly eager to put these new phrases to use, and despite her poor memory and even poorer self-motivation to do what she should, these phrases can now be seen circulating the diaries of heroes and heroines throughout the great land of Godville.

Note- If the Goddess could take a few moments off from the Ideabox & ER to actually update the list, you might see more of her stuff up there. But she gets distracted easily by pictures of pandas. Seriously. Sometimes she stares at them for hours on end.

Blue Panda’s most favourite game phrases and content:

PLEASE NOTE – THESE ARE NOT WRITTEN BY ME, I TAKE NO CREDIT FOR THEM WHATSOEVER.

The Honour Roll:

• Mini-Heromnivore tried to launch an attack using mind over matter, but Goutami7 didn’t mind so it didn’t matter.

• Sorry, Almighty, but Death has better things to do today than babysit me again. (ignored die vc)

• For a moment, I thought a tiny monster was trying to strangle me. Then I realized my armor was on backwards.

• Just saw some heroines cutting up onions and crying. Personally, I never understood the emotional attachment to this inane vegetable

• Noticed a notice on a notice board by the road saying: ‘If you notice this notice, you’ll notice that this notice is noticeably not worth noticing’. Why did I take the time to notice that?

• Crossed a mime field. Didn’t hear a thing.

• I was eating a piece of toast, when I suddenly realized nothing was written on it. I’m confused, Soul Supreme. Is this normal? Can I still eat it?

• Practicing alternative laughs…

• Kissing her pet, murmuring “My precioussss”…

• You’re cramping my style, Almighty. How am I supposed to impress potential dates with you making all that racket? Be cool, will you?

• Filled my mouth with water, laid perfectly still and pretended to be a wishing well. Earned 24 coins.

• Attacked the Sans Sheriff with godly fury. Gosh, I should probably use my weapon next time.

• Great One, I’ve chanted prayers for so long that my tongue has knotted! Hab du pfursakn be?

• The heroine would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids…

• Exquisite happenings, my Goddess! I’ve felicitously enriched my vocabulary artificially through the serendipitous procurement and temporary employment of a thesaurus!

• Consulted a map. What a featureless and barren wasteland! Oh, wait – there’s something on the back.

• Washed my clothes in the fountain. The water is now a different color… Weird.

• Got hit on the head by a flying can of meat, with a label reading, “Dig dig dig!! You have no consideration for my nerves!”. How did that get past my spam filter?

• “Give me a razor, Great One. Things just got hairy!”

• Challenged a statue to a staring contest and shamefully lost. Challenged it to a drinking contest afterward and reinforced my dominance.

• Wow! Another milestone!

• Tried to intimidate the Colonel of Truth by staring it down, but I’m not very good at that. Yet another glaring weakness.

• Carried Pinky on my shoulders, so that he could see over the tall grass and alert me to possible danger. So far he’s alerted me to a ball of yarn, a dead pigeon and a lady trojan horse…

• Once I heard the story of the good, the bad and the ugly. Well, if my god is the good and the monsters are the bad, then who the heck is the ugly one?

• Ran with scissors. Nearly died.

• Added an obscene hieroglyph to the merchant’s signboard.

• Transporting gluteus maximus…

• Desperately trying to evade a wandering master charging way too much to teach some useless skill…

• Running like the wind, in slow motion…

• Chanced upon a mockingbird. Cried over its witty insults.

And finally- the one that takes the prize. Blue’s most appreciated phrase ever:

• The pen is mightier than the sword. En garde, my diary! Scribble. Scribble. Scribble.

Even now, I can’t read this without having to stifle a giggle. If you’re the legendary god/dess who wrote this, I’d love to give you a more personal thank you.

Update: Heard of people seeing it in game, but I haven’t witnessed this wonder first hand yet! Can’t wait!!!!!!

Update: SAW IT!!!!! dances Oh, it’s beautiful! <3

10:41: The pen is mightier than the sword. En garde, my diary. Scribble. Scribble. Scribble.

Makes my day, every time. CONFETTI!!!!

Thank you everyone who contributes ideas for helping to make the game the most enjoyable game I’ve ever had the pleasure of stumbling across. If you are the author of any of these entries, please accept my heartiest thanks and know that they have brought me great amusement and many giggles ^^

Now, about those panda pictures… •^-^•

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MS♥