My God commanded me to sit down and write an updated history about my adventures thus far. Unfortunately I was completely wasted and thought he asked me to shave a cat and burn down the nearest temple using a concoction of various household items (which I also had to steal because I have no house).
The cat shaving and temple burning went rather smoothly for once. However, when I told my God the good news, he face palmed so hard a large boulder dislodged itself from a cliff and landed on my head, causing a severe case of amnesia. Now here I sit in the local guild hospital with nothing but time on my hands to write out my grand adventures one quest at a time.
If only I could remember them…