Standing at the rim of a deep well, I felt an insidious urge to throw a stone into it. Madness.
What did I just step in? Oh, never mind, it doesn’t smell that bad.
Fashioned a tooth from a melted coin to replace the one I lost in battle.
I have decided to not see death as the end but rather a more effective way of cutting down on my expenses.
A local peasant gave me a funny bone out of ‘gratitude’. Extortion for the win!
Saw a notice on a piece of paper lying by the road: ‘If you notice this notice, you’ll notice that this notice is not worth noticing’. Hmmm.
Ate a bug. Regretted it.
It’s raining cats and dogs. I hope I don’t catch fleas.
A priestess told me that my goddess wants me to ‘go forth and multiply’. It’s a shame I was never good at math…
Had a clever thought, but it died of loneliness. Sadness.
Going down to the place where the grass is green and the girls are pretty…
I was stopped by a dirty-looking beggar. He claimed to be my brother and shared an epic tale with me. I told him it was a cool story, and sent him on his way.
Found a field full of ripe sunflowers. The subsequent hours passed by completely unnoticed.
Discovered an abandoned porta-potty. Realized why it was abandoned as I got closer.
Trampled out a mysterious square in a field of crops.
Did you know, Great One, that some monsters are edible? Tastes like chicken.
The trader was impressed by my “Masters of Earth and Heaven” guild membership card. Received a Jedi’s light saber as a free gift.
Haggled over the price of the reason to live and got 50 coins…
I had a dream – I was sitting in a stuffy, overcrowded office doing useless and tedious things. Mighty One, that was really horrible.
A disgusting odor fills the air… Is there a terrifying creature nearby? Or maybe it’s just me… Yeah, it’s me.
The sun shone brightly down from the sky and I was blinded. The intensity swept me out of my body. Looking around, I found myself standing in an endless field of grass. A benevolent spirit appeared and winked at me. When I returned to my body, I felt renewed.
Tried asking the nurse out on a date, but got a very painful injection instead.
I managed to survive that battle relatively unscathed, exCept fOr thE brAIn daMAg3\..
Found a clearing in the forest filled with wildflowers and songbirds. Remained a while and offered thanks to the Great One for making such beauty.
I laughed in the face of Danger, but stopped out of pity when it started crying. Gave it a pat on the back and it cheered up again.
Omnipotent One, would you please quit making birds poop on me? It’s getting really hard to concentrate on my quest.
The Evil Overlord raised its hand for a deadly final strike against me, when Sneezy suddenly threw himself under its feet. The monster stumbled and fell dead on the ground, its neck broken. Sneezy quietly heaved his last breath under the weight of the monster’s carcass. Oh, my Lady, why? He was so young…
Scraped together 2747 coins and managed to persuade the priests to revive my pet. Oh, Sneezy, I missed you so much!
I feel like I’d be a better hero if I had a personal theme song.
Tried to be good. Planted some flowers along the roadside and hugged some kittens.
Took time out from my busy schedule of death and destruction for a spot of knitting.
My Lady, I have you and Sneezy, but why do I still feel like something’s missing from my life?
The healer told me that if I keep suffering strong blows, my vital organs may be damaged. Luckily, the last one struck my head.
Felt like I was being followed. Started walking backwards.
Found 289 coins in a pot near the construction site. Wow, my temple already has some followers!
My beloved Sneezy crept up behind the monster and meowed loudly. Judging by the shocked look on its face, the Anti-anti-virus might need a new pair of pants now.
My wounds are healing, the holes in my outfit are disappearing, and even my pathetic life is starting to look better. My Lady, I think I shall do something great and stupid in your honor!
Boo buried a “Android” guild membership card that he found. Was that his way of showing contempt for that guild?