The Chronicles Of Mooroon
Chapter 1
1 Now in the twenty-third year of the reign of frogs, Montius Pylate being scoutmaster of the world,
2 the word of Al-laat came unto Her servant Mooroon, being (as was supposed) the son of Java, which was the son of Oberon,
3 which was the son of Modula, which was the son of Pascal, which was the son of Algol The Younger, which was the son of Algol The Elder,
4 which was the son of Fortran, which was the son of Macro, which was the son of Tape, which was a real son of a bitch.
5 And Mooroon being full of himself and beer, he was led by Al-laat into the wilderness to sober up,
6 Being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did drink nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward thirsted.
7 And the devil said unto him, If thou be the servant of Al-laat, command this stone that it be made stein, and Oktoberfest.
8 And Mooroon answered him, saying, It is written, O heck, that page of my diary is lost.
9 And the devil, taking him up into an hemorrhage of the nasal mucosa section, shewed unto him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time.
10 And the devil said unto him, If thou wilt worship me, all shall be thine. And Mooroon wilted, but it was to no avail.
11 And he brought him to San Satanos, and set him on a pinnacle of the temple, and said unto him, If thou be the servant of Al-laat, cast thyself down from hence:
12 For it is written, She shall give her acute angles charge over thee, to keep thee:
13 And in their hands they shall fluff thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.
14 And Mooroon answering said unto him, It is said, From hence is ungrammatical, as hence already meaneth that.
15 And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he departed from him, for it was then football season.
16 And Mooroon returned in the power of Al-laat into Godville: and there went out a fame of him through all the region round about.
17 For it is written, As the whirlwind passeth, so is the wicked no more:
18 but forty days in the wilderness maketh the stink of the feet into an everlasting abomination.