Heroine

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Blonde Air Head 4

level 105

Wonder Brain(s) Activate!

Age 7 years 6 months
Personality neutral
Guild Blue Feather
(phoenix)
Monsters Killed about 524 thousand
Death Count 223
Wins / Losses 44 / 45
Temple Completed at 03/13/2013
Ark Completed at 06/10/2015 (356.1%)
Pairs Gathered at 01/16/2018
Words in Book 0.9%
Savings 18M, 258k (60.9%)
Pet Ticking crocodile Rex 17th level
Boss Catastroflea with 51 of power

Equipment

Weapon Pachelbel's cannon +118
Shield ethereal shield +115
Head beauty pageant tiara +117
Body velcro-fastened armor +118
Arms hands-free gloves +118
Legs rocket skates +117
Talisman crime ring +118

Skills

  • spontaneous combustion level 112
  • pocket hypnotoad level 112
  • falcon punch level 106
  • save-load level 101
  • steel finger level 96
  • unbearable boredom level 96
  • homesickness level 84
  • full throttle level 78
  • foot massage level 68
  • mountain moving level 52

Pantheons

Might872
Templehood6167
Storytelling266
Mastery1110
Taming1122
Survival2302
Savings577
Arkeology319
Catch207
Unity6
Popularity2
Duelery2
Adventure3

Achievements

  • Honored Animalist
  • Honored Favorite
  • Builder, 1st rank
  • Martyr, 1st rank
  • Savior, 1st rank
  • Shipwright, 1st rank
  • Hunter, 2nd rank
  • Moneybag, 2nd rank
  • Saint, 2nd rank
  • Careerist, 3rd rank
  • Champion, 3rd rank

Hero's Chronicles

My adventures starting somewhere in level 15- 5/15/12
****
Had a vision of the future! I saw myself battling monsters, completing quests, and, occasionally wasting money. Now to see if it comes true…

  • Starting a tavern brawl and enjoying the show…… fun!*
    **The inflatable drinking companion was worth its weight in gold, assuming it weighed as much as the 142 gold coins the trader paid me for it. *
    *Once in a while fate smiles on me. Then at other times it laughs so hard that milk squirts out of its nose. I think this is one of those times. Hello, Gas Giant.

(5/16/23)

  • 00:27: I laughed in the face of Danger, but stopped out of pity when it started to cry. Gave it a pat on the back and it cheered up again.*
  • 01:20: Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know you could buy a pink furry handcuffs for only 1854 coins!
  • 17:43: The Singing Shark refused to take any more blows without consulting its lawyer. 17:45: I tried to engage the Singing Shark, but declined to start a serious relationship when it insisted I meet its parents first.
  • 20:05: A wandering monk said that the gods don’t like people not doing much work. People who aren’t busy all the time might start to think.
  • 21:36: Examined my dead body. Not a very heroic pose, but at least I have a fatal wound on my chest, not my back.

    5/17/12

    • 01:09: Felt a burning desire to disassemble the mystery box. Found a notarized document inside stating that I’ve died fewer times than I had thought. .Splendid.
      actually gained back a life, sweet!
    • 03:29: I was preaching about my guild in the main square, when there was a sudden flash in the sky and gold coins started raining down.
      People will remember it for a long time here!
    • 03:48: The gold coins in my sack suddenly melted into a golden brick! Great for your temple, Great One, but bad for my drinking fund..
    • 08:34: Somehow I’ve managed to build an igloo in the desert. Found a chest full of money. Gonna drink heavily.****
    • 08:35: Omnipotent One, I was thinking… Well, maybe I wasn’t. Forget it.
      (hence my heroine name.)
    • 09:54: Sold everything in my inventory. It’s good to be rich!
    • 09:54: Mysterious forces created a golden brick in my purse. My Lady, was that your doing? (Yes! Another gold brick!)
    • 16:02: Saw a cat run by me with someone’s tongue in its mouth. I wonder what that means…
    • 20:28: Thought about helping the poor, but instead gave 817 coins to the rich so they’d have more to donate.
    • Bragging about her kill/death ratio…(3262 kills/ 4 deaths)…that’s 815.5 kills per death!*=
    • 03:02: The Attention Seeker was gloriously torn to pieces! While rifling through its remains, I found an electric compass. It will need a good wash before I can sell it.
    • 04:24: Tattooed ‘*mo’ money. mo’ gold!’ on my butt cheek. Nice. **
    • 15:43: My quest to determine the terminal airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow was a triumph! I’m making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. Got a golden brick too.

    5/19/12

    • 16:55: Saw Furryback running from a Moby Duck while I was fleeing from the Poltergoose. We joined forces and bravely fled together.
    • 18:19: A wise man told me that I’m proof that gods like a good joke. I laughed politely, but didn’t get it.
      ****BA.(examples of why my heroine is named Blonde Air Head)

    5/20/12

    • 17:47: A wandering monk said that the gods like to see an atheist around, it gives them something to aim at.
    • 17:48: Tried to imagine the Giant Enemy Crab naked to alleviate my fear, but the image I envisioned scared me even more.
    • 17:48: Successfully escaped from the Giant Enemy Crab by cliff jumping. But now I think I have a different problem…
    • 18:03: My brains fell out again. Gosh, it’s hard to keep an open mind.
    • 18:38: Man, I really need to get a life.
    • 19:17: These constant resurrections are wreaking havoc on my social life.
    • 22:09: The mayor of Bumchester suddenly started choking during a public ceremony. I leapt from the crowd, yelled out ‘Not on ’Blue Feather’s watch!’ and performed the Heimlich maneuver until the mayor coughed up a leprechaun and started to breathe again. They’ll remember our guild around here, that’s for sure.

    5/21/12

    • The heroine is playing Twister with herself…

    5/22/12

    • 00:14: Entered a bamboo grove to get some rest, but met Furryback there. We built a little field altar and prayed to our gods. Maybe we should build a pantheon next time.
    • 14:45: Had a hot date last night, or at least I think I did. I can’t remember a thing, but 373 gold coins are missing from my wallet, so it must have been pretty awesome!
    • Entered a bamboo grove to get some rest, but met Furryback there. We built a little field altar and prayed to our gods.
    • A priestess told me that my goddess wants me to ‘go forth and multiply’. Too bad I only know how to divide monsters.
    • 22:43: Found an old, faintly humming monument covered with shoots and leaves. While I was clearing the growth, I laid my hands on the monument… When the SFX were over, I found myself surrounded by an aura of abstinence.

    5/23/12

    • 01:10: Quest to tell the plumber that his princess is in another castle has been completed! Got iron crown as a reward. It’s time to go to celebrate!
    • 01:10: Wow, I am level 17 now! Caught a glimpse of my reflection while drinking from a stream. Oh yeah, looking good…
    • 01:25: Dear Lady, nothing to report today. I’ve been bitten, scratched, punched, kicked, and severely wounded. In short, business as usual.*
    • Quest #40 Find out who, what, when, why, and how (mini) (36%)*

    5/25/12

    • 01:19: Though I was hoping that succeeding in my quest to grant political asylum to the dethroned king of a neighboring country would win the respect and admiration of my peers, this gold brick will have to sufice.*
    • 03:05: Almighty, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the gold to buy shiny new things. Meanwhile, please accept my humble donation of 41 gold coins.*

    5/26/12

    • 16:12: Quest to convince the suicidal lemming not to jump has been completed! Got dragon’s molar as a reward. It’s time to go and celebrate!
    • 16:53: A group of crazy scientists have given me yet another quest to undertake: separate the red beans from the green beans.

    5/30/12

    • 09:28: Grant me the power of immortality, Omnipotent One, so that I may do stupid things and not have to consider death as a consequence.*
    • The heroine is taking banned substances prior to the fight with the Vegetarian Cannibal…*

    3:32: Dear Lady, most omniscient, beneficent, and unpredictable, whose existence was, is, and forever shall be eternal and interminable; the delight of my eyes and the song of my heart, whose wisdom flows like a waterfall unto… I forgot what I was going to say.

    1:03: Fell down a hill. Hit the ground repeatedly as I flipped over and over again, all the way to the bottom. That’s how I roll.

    April 2013

    *Was resurrected and immediately had to burrow myself out from underground. Turned out someone had buried me in Beerburgh. Thank goodness, I thought I’d been reincarnated as a mole!

    • Consulted a psychologist, and he told me I was insane. But my backpack assured me that it was more qualified than the doctor, and that I shouldn’t listen to his asinine remarks

    accomplishment(s) of the month

    • The mayor of San Satanos suddenly started choking during a public ceremony. I leapt from the crowd, yelled out ‘Not on ’Blue Feather’s watch!’ and performed the Heimlich maneuver until the mayor coughed up a leprechaun and started to breathe again. They’ll remember our guild around here, that’s for sure. :-)
    • The mayor of Los Demonos suddenly started choking during a public ceremony. I leapt from the crowd, yelled out ‘Not on ’Blue Feather’s watch!’ and performed the Heimlich maneuver until the mayor coughed up a leprechaun and started to breathe again. They’ll remember our guild around here, that’s for sure.
      gee this sounds familiar… hmmm

    May 2013

    *The gladiators’ yearbook just came out. The editorial staff captioned my picture, “Voted least likely to successfully paint the town red.” Time to prove them wrong!

    *My quest to paint the town red was completed with excellence! Got a shiny golden brick and felt great about it. (Hooray for me)!

    May 2013

    • Took Buck to a local orphanage to try to cheer up the children. It worked so well that the kids begged him to stay. He gave me a wistful glance and a sad smile before going inside. Farewell, Buck, I hope you give those kids as many fond memories as you have given me.
  • :-( *
    • I was trying to spread the word at Last Resort’s main square, informing the people about my guild, when suddenly thunder boomed and amplified my voice a hundredfold. People here are going to remember the “Blue Feather” guild for a long time.

    may 2013

    • I’m cold, tired, and wounded! Unless you want me to organize a union, I suggest you grant me better working conditions, Exalted One!

    *The flagpole on the “Blue Feather” guild hall grew dramatically in height and acted as a lightning rod, channeling a storm of thunderbolts destined for the townsfolk safely into the ground.

    *I just heard someone in the tavern shout, ‘You should search after a hobbit an punish him! Make him to your slave.’. Pretty funny – someone’s more drunk than I am!

    *03:36 AM Notes from the battlefield: While digging, Karal and Blonde Air Head disturbed someone’s lair. A giant Faithless Deafening Heromnivore shows up in front of them…

    *03:54 AM Notes from the battlefield: The heroes brought together by their common destiny have defeated the Faithless Deafening Heromnivore! Blonde Air Head got 7490 coins, ear of the Heromnivore, a golden brick, a miniature siege tower and a portable quest generator.

    *03:54 AM The Heromnivore was triumphantly defeated! I’ve gained more experience and looted some gold, but it’s time to return to my heroic deeds.

    • 05:56 PM A freak gust of wind blew my guild promotion flyers out of my hands. Amazingly, a sudden vortex then dispersed the flyers, sending one into the letterbox of every household in Tradeburg!

    somewhere in far future

    03:08 Almighty, why do I seem to be your only follower? Don’t you have other people to yell “Wonder Brain(s) Activate!” or do stupid, almost heroic things in your name?

    *09:42 There was a mix up at the store and I was accidentally given healing items instead of booze for my journey. Darn that trader!

    july 2015 – A death by any other name is still a death.

    **03:56 Was just about to finish off the Game Overlord when I spotted Death lurking in the shadows, waiting to claim the beast. Looking back, it was probably a mistake to high-five him.

    **03:56 Was just about to finish off the Game Overlord when I spotted Death lurking in the shadows, waiting to claim the beast. Looking back, it was probably a mistake to high-five him.

    **08:56 Woke up during my own funeral. Received 242 gold coins from the funeral director for increasing his business as some attendants were shocked to death.

    105 deaths and counting

    10:57 I now know I’m getting old. The doctor told me that they’ve discontinued my blood type.~
    *yep now I am officially older than dirt!

    sunday
    *03:24 Saw a homeless beaver begging by the side of the road. Didn’t give a dam.

    *04:58 I was trying to spread the word at Los Demonos’s main square, informing the people about my guild, when suddenly thunder boomed and amplified my voice a hundredfold. People here are going to remember the “Blue Feather” guild for a long time. ;-)

    Monday
    *I’ve grown slightly bigger as I hit level 80. More of me to love, Great One!

    • 11:09 AM I’M BEING HELD CAPTIVE IN A DIARY FACTORY! IF ANYONE’S READING THIS, PLEASE SEND HELP! — I don’t remember writing this. Weird…
    • 04:02 PM Heroes and heroines, sitting under trees, R-E-S-T-I-N-G. No time for love, just devotion, receiving wounds not healable by potions.

    09:10 PM I’m like level 105 now! I’m like way more mature now! You can’t tell me what to do anymore, Soul Supreme.